Reply #19: My condolences, lapislzi - I lost my dad the same week 21 yrs ago [View All]

It was sudden and unexpected, and left my mother devastated. Even though she no longer practiced, and most of the kids were no longer believers, we did the whole Catholic thing. It was not only the easiest way to go, what with everyone in shock, but also all the older relatives, including Dad's mother who survived him, were very devout and any other kind of service would have distressed them terribly.

There are times to stand on principal, and times when kindness takes precedence. Though I am curt with prosletyzers, if someone says to me "God bless you," I reply "And bless you." I don't feel I compromise myself by accepting their kind intentions, and to return them is like sharing an embrace. Small kindnesses in a hard world.

If you had behaved otherwise at your father's service, it would have become all about you, not all about him. You done good. My condolences again.