Letter to Mom about my epiphanous weekend. [View All]

Getting too dead around here, ya'll.

Here's an embarassing (for you) look into my private life. This is from a letter to my mother back home in SC. I hope it will have some bearing on your life.

Hey Ma,

<snip>

I went camping last weekend and had some long hours in
the van to think. I had some real revelations about
myself. I recently ran across a couple of articles
that were pretty important to helping me figure myself
out. Cut to the chase: I realized that I am an
introvert (no news there) and that introversion is an
orientation, not unlike homosexuality, in the sense
that it's not something that one can change.

All my life I've been thinking in terms of getting
over my shyness and introversion (those are two
different things, incidentally - there are shy
extroverts, and non-shy introverts). But while one can
get over shyness, and I mostly have, the introversion
is not going to change. Therefore, if I'm to be happy,
I must give up on any notion of trying to fit into the
world of extroverts and focus on succeeding as an
introvert.

What does that mean? It means that I should work
mostly, if not exclusively, alone. Think about it, most,
if not all, of the successes I've had in my life: my
skills as a musician and songwriter, my 3500 miles of
backpacking, my woodworking skills, my design skills,
writing, etc., are things that I do alone. In an
extroverted world most of my attributes aren't even
considered as such, which has had an undeserved effect
on my self-esteem. My skills are special but not
valued by our society. And even to the extent they
are, introverts aren't ones to promote themselves, to
put themselves out there. We aren't the type who say
"Look at me, ain't I great? Give me money."

So while I realize that I have to have a job until I
can make my own way, I realize why I've never been
anything but miserable working for someone else.
Working with others just doesn't work for me.

It's also part of why I haven't had much success with
women. When your basic orientation is inward it's hard
to turn your energies outward. AND, it doesn't work
when an introverted guy tries to make it work with an
extroverted female. The opposite probably works
better: introverted female and extroverted male.

Knowing these things will help me to channel my
efforts more productively. There's no guarantee of
success at anything, of course, but knowing in advance
where I'm not very likely to succeed will certainly
help.

<snip>

So that's it. Those two articles I posted in another thread have really penetrated my brain. I urge you all to read them if you haven't. I don't imagine there will be much response to the present thread. People tend to get embarassed when someone makes public something private. I don't care. I'm very forthright and honest that way. I'll post more later though, about why this is important and relavent to people like us ... I mean, beyond the obvious.