BushCabal offers solution to school shootings. [View All]

You missed it because network and cable news thinks BushCo irrelevant and so didn't air his speech, but BS News has an advanced copy.

The newly formed Committee Against the War on School Terror will investigate and suggest implementation of polices that make schools safe again. Insiders say it is a "five star plan."

* Metal detectors, federal agents and one tank at every school.
* Any trespasser will be shot on sight.
* Student's cell phones will be tapped.
* All student's will be searched at will.

The administration expects the fifth point to be most controversial:

* Students psychologically tested under the New Freedom Initiative who score a "caution" or lower will be "detained" indefinitely; before they commit any crime and until the President himself deems them safe enough to re-enter society. "They may be children now, but in keeping with our 'child tried as an adult' laws, we know how dangerous children really are. The implementation of this law will root out those who are dangerous now or may become dangerous as adults," Bush said.

From his rehab center, Mark Foley applauded the Committee for its sincere and fondling efforts to protect children.

Opponents argue this plan was drawn years ago and waited for events shocking enough to justify implementation. "The committee really met in 2001 as a first order of business," Sen Kennedy said. "They were only waiting for something as dramatic as 9/11 to rush it into law."

edit: Bush said.