Well, I've decided to become a Conservative Republican because... [View All]

These people can do, say or act in any way they want and still not be held accountable for their actions.

So, I've decided that from now on I can just make up any shit I want to, say it however many times I want to, even on video tape and it won't even matter.

I've decided that it will be a-okay for me to preach about family values and still be able to visit prostitutes while wearing diapers, practicing my wide stance in toilets or have as many girlfriends as I damn want to.

I'll be able to lie on national tv and say shit any time I want whether it be wrong or just full of batshit. And regardless of if it is caught on tape or not because when called on it, I can just deny it and say anyone who is calling me on the words I once may have said is a liar and hates America.


Hell, if I want to, I can now do meth, cocaine, crack, blunts, alcohol or any type of behavior modification substance I want to.

And while I'm doing all of this, I can still criticize others for doing the things I'm doing, too.

I can do all of these things because now I am a Conservative Republican.