Reply #1403: Hello, I am still here and some additional comments/clarification [View All]

1) Puglover, a former mod, up thread was correct regarding why my moderator privileges were revoked. I knew when I made my post that I was, in essence, violating the "what happens in the mod forum stays in the mod forum" privacy clause I agreed to when I signed up and was accepted as a moderator. I hoped that because I named no names, gave no specific links, thread titles, or identifying information that I may have been able to slip under the enforcement of the rules, but I wholly expected that directly or indirectly because of that post, that my moderating privileges would be removed. I am okay with that, and I stand behind what I wrote 100%, and I can be backed up by other moderators (current and former) who will ascertain that the information I presented is accurate and true. I did not exaggerate or make false claims.

2) I made the fatal post because I felt to NOT do so was dishonest on my part. I could not call myself an advocate for GLBT issues if I did not address a concern that had been addressed NUMEROUS times by posters over the last year or so that I've been a moderator--unfair moderation. In my mind, silence was complicity.

Skinner has stated several times that he felt that the claims by posters of unfair moderation was in part due to moderators having to be held to a set of poorly worded rules (hence, the re-write a few months ago), and being asked to work with a poorly-designed system (hence, DU3 launch in the future) that limited our functionality as moderators. I, and I think most moderators agreed with that. But I also felt, and still feel, that a bad set of rules, plus a bad system design is only made worse with bad moderators. I think that any changes that were made to the rules, or the alert system, or the notion of civility is undermined when you have people who cannot see beyond their own set of privilege due to their gender, skin colour, or sexual orientation as the ones who are interpreting those rules.

3) I am going to state that I do not feel that any of the moderators I have worked with are what I would ever call "homophobic". That is, I do not think that they fear or hate people who are GBLT...I'm going to use an analogy that I used before with some mod-friends of mine in a PM

...My grandad doesn't have a bit of hate in his heart. He's in his 70's and would tell you that racism isn't a problem anymore because blacks can vote, and can get pretty much any job they want, and so the issues of race are gone. In his mind, that's progress from the time that he was growing up in the South, a time of separate but equal, different water fountains, and Niggers Need Not Apply. However, he just cannot grasp that racism can be institutionalized, and insidious, and sneaky. That having a job isn't the same as having equal access to all jobs. That being able to vote doesn't negate the disenfranchisement that goes along with being black, and poor, and trying to vote.

So What I'm saying is that I think the moderators that I worked with that I felt were biased towards GLBT issues weren't biased because of hate of gays, or fear of gays. I think that, in their mind, they feel that progress has been made! You can be gay and open! Many places have civil unions! Your business probably won't be burned down if you fly a Rainbow FLag on the flag pole.

But they don't get the meat and potatoes of issues in the GLBT community. They are pragmatic, and feel that since things are different than they were in 1960, and "fag" is a bad word to use, then things are BETTER, and BETTER is better than NOTHING, so what's all the fuss about? They feel that political progress is slow and planned, and that once we end these wars, and get people back to being employed, and get the Republicans out of office, and end the recession, and get the debt under control, and get some universal health care, and get insurance reform, and the housing market bounces back, and the midterms are out of the way, and the 2012 election is done, and those midterms are out of the way, THEN we can get to the serious business of DADT repeal and gay marriage and anti-discrimination laws.

With that being said, I am also mindful that while I am a bisexual woman, married to a heterosexual man, in a polyamorous relationship, I have no business telling someone who does not have the "pass as hetero" status that I do what is and isn't, or who is or isn't homophobic. I can't tell a black person what is a racist comment, and I don't dare to tell you all, either. Aside from right now, my sexuality and the relationship that Mr. HEd and I have has been a very private matter, known only to those who we are sharing that aspect of our lives with, and entering a sexual/dating relationship with. I'm not throwing this out there to gain "street cred", I just am stating who I am, and adding the caveat that I would never assume that my take on a person or issue is the "Right" way to look at a situation or person.

Ooh and finally...

I'm HEDDI..not Heidi. She's married to that Wesley fellow. I'm married to a non-DU'er named Mr. heddi. :) I think she lives in some exotic foreign land, and I live in Seattle, also known as "the city that spring forgot". sigh.

I appreciate all the wonderful words and PM's I have received. But let's get back on track. This issue is not about *me*. I lost my ability to be a moderator...my GLBT brothers and sisters still do not have equal access to civil rights, to partner benefits, the ability to be a designated next of kin for a dying partner, adoption rights, job security, housing security, SECURE security. THAT is the issue.

I lost a little gray shadow by my user name...you all have lost, and continue to lose so very, very much more.