Obese girls and boys bullied more often, research finds | Globe and Mail

Obese girls and boys bullied more often, research finds

By ANDRÉ PICARD
From Monday's Globe and Mail

Obese children and teenagers -- and chubby girls in particular -- are far more likely to be victims of bullying than their normal-weight peers, according to new Canadian research.And, as they grow older, overweight teens -- boys especially -- are far more likely to turn the tables and become bullies themselves, the study revealed.

"Almost all the research that is done focuses on the physical aspects of obesity, but this study tells us that there's this whole other psychological component that's really important to explore," Ian Janssen, a researcher in the department of community health and epidemiology at Queen's University in Kingston, Ont., said.

The study, published in today's edition of the medical journal Pediatrics, found that about one in seven Canadian children aged 11 to 16 are victims of bullying.

More at the Globe and Mail

Anyone who went to a public school has no doubt seen this, many times :(

Interesting about the part about overweight boys becoming bullies as they get older, though.

...approximately .0000001 seconds after the Big Bang. :eyes:

,...than on the bullied. Bullies pick on anyone they believe they can pick on.

...if we all mirror one another, is the wrong I see in another the wrong in me?...

me about this report. It sounds as though the fat kid needs to change so that the bully won't need to bully him anymore. My heart does go out to the obese child. While they are doing research such as this, why don't they take part of that money and put it to teaching these kids about nutrition and exercise though. Maybe even bring their parents to the class. And if they didn't want to take any of their money, I would think they could at least get health care professionals to volunteer and work with these kids at the school. It seems cold to just use these kids like this, research their problem and then don't do anything about it. And a little parenting skills class wouldn't hurt cuz I don't think a parent sets out to make things difficult for their kids, I think they just don't know any better or are doing the best they can.

Hum....how fat does a kid need to be to not be allowed in the Army?

on human evil. Why are we focusing research upon the victims rather than the predators? I mean, sure, we need to find ways to adequately heal the wounds of victims. But, why aren't we vigorously working to figure out how to end the evil acts?

Actually, what I'd love to study is what causes people to become bigots/bullies, and how to derail the process before patterns of negative behavior become the person's norm.

Yeah, it's a big dream for a retail monkey to have--"Someday I will figure out how to stop evil from taking root in people's minds"--but maybe, just maybe, I can go back to college and do it.

Tucker

,...I acknowledge both your courage to confront human evil and your compassion for humanity in holding a desire to combat such evil.

the death of a boy. A friend of mine had a 15-year-old son who was obese and was the victim of vicious bullying. One day he took his dad's pistol to school. He stood up in class and said that he was not going to take it anymore. He then shot himself fatally in the head.

I knew someone in college who had been bullied all his life and he took his own life one summer while at home with his parents. Not quite so dramatic, but just as awful.

Because of my nerdiness as a child, I was endlessly bullied and called names (and even the recipient of a few fights). Suicide crossed my mind many times, though I always maintained enough hope of "When I'm 18 I will go as far away from here as possible." It worked. I moved to the Northeast (from Texas) to go to college when I was 18 and my life turned around 180 degrees.

It's so sad to hear of young people who see no other alternative.

Of course they are.. always have been:(

This weekend at my daughters swim class, there was an older class there and there were two kids who were maybe 10-12 years old and at least 30-40 lbs. overweight. It made me sad to see, precisely because I envisioned the poor kids getting picked on and how horrible I remember it being to see that happen when I was young.

However, after the class was over, these same kids were barely out the door with their parents and they were eating candy bars and potato chips.

The thing is, the fact that kids bullying overweight kids is reprehensible does not make letting your kids eat poorly and be overweight and unhealthy o.k. either.

I'm all for making kids feel good about themselves no matter what they look like and getting beyond ingrained conceptions of physical beauty. But there is a certain level at which simply reacting the other way and saying "My kid can eat whatever he/she wants whenever he/she wants to and you can't make him feel bad about it" becomes just as unhealthy for that child as anything else.

Like I said, I'm conflicted on the issue. I'm sympathetic to these kids like you wouldn't believe. But I also think that changing your kids eating habits and getting them healthy is almost as important to making them feel good about themselves as stopping these kids from doing this to them in the first place.

I just wrote about my stepdaughters battles with their weight. They did not get that way through any metabolic issues.. they were simply allowed, for many years, to eat as much food as they could eat, no matter how bad the food was. And.. they had some issues with their mother, that made them eat obsessively. They still struggle with that.. but now that they don't eat junk, and massive portions, they have recovered.

I cringe when I see families with small children.. the parents are large and the children are also large.. and the shopping cart is filled with nothing but junk food. The parents have the power to keep things balanced for these kids, but they don't make any effort because it would mean they would have to change their lifestyle, too. It's not fair to the kids...

Anyone who's lived in America can tell you that. My stepdaughter was quite obese all through school, until her last few years of high school. The teachers treated her poorly, in addition to the abuse by other students. Fat-bashing is the last allowable bigotry. TV shows and movies use obese people for instant laughs.. Both of my stepdaughters had weight issues, but have since recovered. Though some relatives fel that my husband and I were wrong to address the subject with the girls, and to help them get in better health... they have both since told us that life was unbearable while they were overweight, they hated themselves, and hated everyone at school who were smaller than they were. One is now a happy, healthy 21 year old with lots of friends and even a boyfriend (a romantic relationship that had eluded her all through school). The other, is younger, she is an award-winning athelete, a happy kid with lots of friends now. They are not happy simply because they lost weight.. but because they feel so much better about themselves and in control of their fates, that they are more successful in their lives.

People thought it would be hurtful for us to openly discuss their weight issues, and restructure family eating habits.. when they hadn't realized it was much more hurtful for the girls to suffer the insults and taunting at school. I was a tiny thing in school, and was teased and bullied for being so little.. but the overweight kids got it much worse. We don't need a study to tell us that.

You did the right thing. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

There is quite a large gap between making sure your kids don't subscribe to falsely "ideal" body images, and allowing them to be and eat and live unhealthily.

Like a lot of things in America people take to extremes.

Many fat people actually eat less than so-called normal individuals, and still gain. In many cases, this is a result of children being put on one diet after another until their metabolism is shot. I know many people through my involvement with teh Size Acceptance movement who were put on diets when they were very young - even some being prescribed diet pills at age 8 or 9!! As a result, many of these people have dieted themselves up to over 300 pounds.

There are two sides to every story. Please be sure to look at both of them.

insisted upon having my 12 year old stepson start the "Slim Fast Plan" when it was clear to me that he simply needed more physical activity. At the time, he was in a chubby phase of growth. I noticed a similar phase when my own son was 12, 10 years later. Having hopped from diet to diet, my stepson, now 28, is about 20 lbs overweight and struggles constantly with it.

My son, now almost 17, dealt as best he could with the insults (some of which came from my in-laws), and made regular exercise a part of his day. Within a year, though he hadn't lost weight, he'd grown tall enough to be within his height/weight proportion.

He hasn't given up junk food; but he does have a healthier diet than a lot of teens his age, and enjoys salads as much as chips. He's a great looking kid, and I suspect he'll remain healthy-looking as long as he maintains his activity level and doesn't obsess about dieting.

Which is two overweight kids who were barely out of the swimming pool when they started eating starchy and sweet foods that their parents gave them.

I know you didn't intend it to, but your post illustrates the problem with this whole discussion. I didn't say that all overweight kids were due to overeating. Merely that other kids picking on overweight kids shouldn't be used as an excuse for avoiding self examination or a reevaluation of ones eating habits. The sendentary lifestyle of most kids nowadays is also to blame, and again it's the parents responsibility.

My point is that no kid deserves to be bullied for any reason. But bullying being bad doesn't mean overeating or not excersizing is good no matter how much "size acceptance" you have about yourself or others.

As I mentioned without going into personal history, my empathy for what these kids go through knows no bounds. But that doesn't mean that if you see your kid hurting himself, your instinct should be to stop him/her. If your kid is not hurting him/her self then all you can do is instill self confidence in them and your job is done.

Many times that can backfire. A chubby child can feel that they are less loved and "picked on" by adults who "only want to help".

Especially when their thinner siblings are given desserts, and they're told they can't have any because they're too fat. I know many people who carry the scars of "helping" like that well into adulthood.

Let the child eat whatever they want when they want to?

If it is not a matter of overeating and is a medical condition then it should be treated as one. If a child is diabetic would you just give in when they complained that they couldn't have dessert like the other kids? Or would you make them realize its for their own health and benefit? Or would you just say "Well, you're overweight and its not your fault so you might as well eat whatever you want anyway." Kids aren't as stupid or delicate as they are made out to be. They can understand more complex reasons that parents give them for doing or not doing certain things.

Either way, there is no excuse for letting ones child eat an unhealthy diet and allowing them to live a sedentary lifestyle.

...for anyone displaying a condescending "I'm better than you" attitude toward anyone because of their size.

..you would know that is not the place I am coming from.

But parents have a responsibility to their children. To protect them from ill health and to protect them from bullies or people who want to hurt them.

Some things are within their control and others are outside of their control. Not recognizing the difference is where the problem lies for both sides of the unhealthy coin. Trying to take too much control of it results in things like anorexia or bulimia. Conceding all the control to bullies or societiy in general and just giving up and allowing a kid to eat whatever they want at all times so they don't in any way feel bad about themselves no matter how much it hurts them physically, is just as unhealthy.

...of people on this site telling overweight people what they should do. Sorry if you got caught in the crossfire, but I've had it up to HERE with attitudes like that.

I don't like the attitude of which you speak either.

But as someone who has been there both from a weight perspective and from a just plain old being bullied for being different perspective, I realize that the feeling of empowerment and control one can give a misfit kid can do more wonders than letting them think that any of it is out of their control.

...between "empowerment" and constantly nagging the kid about his or her weight.

Who completely put control of everything into my hands but guided me in the right direction and gave me enough self confidence to turn things around on any tormentors I had.

Not all kids are so lucky though.

.. but there is an awful lot of defensiveness on this site when obesity comes up. Obese kids make for adults with lasting health problems. Obesity in childhood makes for a tendency for obesity in adulthood, which is now considered one the major causes of preventable death. Just like smoking, the defensive response to the obesity issue comes out when it's discussed.

Kids shoudln't be on diets, unless a doctor has deemed it to be crucial for diabetes, etc. Juvenile diabetes is out of control right now, because of the lack of healthy foods and sedentary lifestyles of children now. I'm not sure why everyone gets their panties in a bunch when people talk about positive ways to help children.

Or perhaps we should all have a "whatever makes you happy dear" attitude, and condemn the children to a lifetime of unhealth and ridicule.

You claimed: Juvenile diabetes is out of control right now, because of the lack of healthy foods and sedentary lifestyles of children now.


Point of fact: juvenile diabetes is not caused by diet or exercise habits. It is the end result of the destruction of pancreatic cells by an infection, or by an attack by the body's own immune system, or by some combination of these two factors. Genetic susceptibility may be involved.


Mary

For injecting a few facts into this discussion.

Wayne
(CO Liberal)

would be good for the fat and the thin alike -- same quantities, dessert and all.

I don't advocate weight loss programs for kids, unless medically necessary. Just getting a kid more active, and eating a healthy diet should be enough. I don't think people can grasp how badly kids eat, and how sedentary so many of them are.

I really dont' see where I mentioned putting the kids on a diet. I don't believe in diets for anyone. They are useless, unless you incorporate other life changes while you're losing the weight.

It's about education. Learning what food is good, what isn't. I used to ask them what would happen to your car if you put sugar or dirt into the gas tank... how far would it go? What condition would the car be in later?

I bake often. Homemade strawberry shortcake, brownies, cookies, etc. The secret is NOT denying food. But it's learning NORMAL portion control, and balance in your diet. There is no deprivation.. unless not allowing a kid to eat 3 helpings of everything at every meal is deprivation.

You know, the most telling thing of all? My stepdaughters have told me and their father, that they knew in their heart that they shouldn't eat that way, and knew that no one would say anything to them about it.. and it actually hurt them more that other relatives just ignored the problem and said things like "We love you just as your are!". Their thoughts when that happened were, "I don't love myself like this, and I don't really like the fact that you aren't helping me!". People think that a kid will be more traumatized if you tell them that they need to cut back on the portions, when in fact (according to the girls), it's MUCH more traumatizing to have someone ask you if you're "going to eat the guitars" in 8th grade music class! Kids know. They know what's going on. Hell, my youngest stepdaughter doesn't want to live with her Mother, and one of the reasons is that her Mother asserts absolutely no parental guidance or support for her eating issues, and actually encourages her to overeat with her.

The idea that someone would let a skinny kid have dessert while an obese child sat there without one is pretty ridiculous.

You said it! And for what it's worth, fat folks aren't the only ones who have to deal with all those condescending jackasses who just wanna help (that is, "help" you conform to their notions of what is "acceptable" in looks, temperament, personal habits -- you name it).

For one thing, anyone who grows up introverted or shy in a culture that values hyper-sociality can totally relate. :(

Looking back, I'd have to say that I was born introverted, but it was the supposedly well-meaning attempts to "draw" me out of my "shell" that made me actually shy -- that is extremely self-conscious and afraid of people. A lot of what passes for "helpfulness" is really just meddlesome intolerance: a refusal to let difference stand; an inability to live and let live. The Helpful Ones are always burbling pridefully on about the intervention they've launched into the affairs of some poor nonconforming soul, and oh, behold the sunny results! But I never believe them. Do-gooders can go straight to hell as far as I'm concerned.


Mary

I was also shy and constantly harrassed to "smile more" or suddenly put on the spot with questions because some asshole felt I hadn't talked often enough.

I also remember feeling fat ever since I was about 8 years old. Really, I just matured much faster than most of my peers (I was the first kid in my class to have breasts and get her period by about two years.) And some people genuinely do have bigger frames than other people. So I got teased for being fat when I was 5'6" and 140. I look back at pictures from that time and I would kill to have those legs back even though at the time I was so mortified by my "fat" thighs, I insisted on wearing sweatpants under my soccer shorts.

So maybe I got some more exercise from "helpful" packs of boys who chased me home throwing rocks, but it was immediately cancelled by all the ice cream I ate to self-medicate for depression. I wouldn't bet a lot of money on how resistant to bullying the average teen is. I felt fat my entire childhood and then I became fat since I figured it wouldn't make any difference.

They simply ate 2 and 3 helpings at each meal. Inordinate amounts of junk food, and spent most of their time watching t.v. When I volunteer in the schools, I'm sorry to report, that the obese kids are the ones in line for 3rd helpings of whatever treat they're giving out... Obesity in children is rampant now. I doubt there is a big increase in "metabolic" disorders suddenly... Just watch the parents line up at McDonald's drive thru nightly... or find out what most kids do for fun now (t.v., computer, video games). While I"m certain a SMALL portion of people have poor metabolism... a lifestyle of fast, cheap food and execessive passive activities are usually the culprit. Putting children on diets... doesn't cause them to gain weight.. if it did.. how did they get overweight to begin with?

Too many parents don't have the interest or selflessness to change their lifestyles to keep their kids healthy. The obsession with stupid diets is rampant in the US. Doctors (unless they're selling a diet) say it best... burn more calories than you take in... that's the big secret.

Heck, anyone growing up with an once of awareness ought know this is a fact of childhood life.........

I guarantee you that if you asked a thousand fat kids whether they'd rather be fat or blind, a thousand would say blind.

And I'm sure that if you asked a thousand fat kids whether they'd rather have a double banana spilt or be treated with respect, most would pick the respect.

Ummm.. but there are definite lifestyle issues that usually cause it. No one may ask to be fat, as you say.. but unless they have a rare disorder, they can change their lifestyle to be more healthy, and with that, not be obese. Is there some question still that obesity is found to be a major preventable cause of death in America? Why would anyone be so worried about offending their children, if they knew that by ignoring the situation they were forever altering their children's health and well-being? If your 8 year old wanted to take up smoking or drinking, would that be okay?

...would you speak up, or figure it's up to the parents to take care of that?

Then why are so many people out there so anxious to "help" fat kids???

:shrug:

Just as I do if I see a kid not in a child car seat, or with a parent smoking with the kid in the car and all the windows rolled up. I think everyone here is in agreement that diets are a disaster for kids. ANd.. no one here is advocating cruelty. But if your child is facing a health issue that will alter their quality of life forever. Why wouldn't you say something???

I guess it would have been much, much better for me to butt out of my stepdaughters lives when it came to their obesity. I suppose you're right... but then again...

The 21 year old girl weight 210 pounds going into high school. She was depressed, lethargic, and miserable. I supposed, if I hadn't had the motivation to help her.. she would have committed suicide, kept eating until she hit a point where she was medically unable to even work, give up on any ideas she had for a bright future.. I could have left her as she was.. and decided that it would be painful for her if anyone brought up the topic. Her family didn't mention it to her, they all pretended it wasn't an issue. I could have done that. But I didn't. Talking openly about it, there were lots of tears.. and lots of shame and self-hatred that came tumbling out, but a new awareness of who she really was. She wasn't just a "big girl" as her relatives had always said about her.. trying to make her feel better. She was a child that was using food to soothe her feelings of neglect by her mother. Once the topic was out in the open.. no more diets were used. She just learned more about nutrition, became active, and lost weight. She is now working and going to school, she is healthy and active. SHe has tons of friends and a boyfriend.. NOT because she's thinner, but because she doesn't hate herself and everyone else anymore. I'm amazed that people really think that if they don't address the issue with kids, that somehow they'll not be hurt. They are much more hurt every day, but don't know how to tell you, unless you talk about it. My younger stepdaughter.. went through the exact same process with me, and is happy, truly happy now. NOT because she is thinner.. but because she likes herself now. She likes herself, as her sister likes herself, because THEY took control of their health and their lives and accomplished things.

I suppose I could have left the girls to their own devices, fearing that bringing it up would hurt them. But.. if you ask them yourself, they'd tell you that I've changed their lives, because no one else in their family had the guts to face the real issues.

How is that harmful???

....is with the people who constantly nag, nag, nag about a child's weight. Nagging never got anyone to change - in fact, it may have reinforced the negative behavior.

My wife started gaining weight as a child, and she's still bothered by the cruel comments made by her aunts who only though they were "helping"....

I'm glad that your method worked for your stepdaughters. but it does not work in all cases, and for all people. Stop thinking you have the universal solution, because you don't.

Healthier lifestyes just make you weigh less. They don't make you not be fat. My friend who has controlled her diabetes by going from 385 lbs to 285 lbs is still fat, even though she weighs less.

Obesity causes no problems whatsoever. The problems are inactivity and poor diet, which stay problems whether or not those things make you fat.

I've also known many fat people who weren't diabetic.

It's a result of that form of disease. Can't find the article now, but there was a study of teenage type I diabetics in Toronto which found that girls were already getting retina damage. Why? Taking all the insulin they need makes them slightly heavier, and they would rather be thin! The boys didn't have that problem.

2/3 of fat people are NOT diabetic. Being fat does NOT cause Type II diabetes. The genetic propensity toward Type II causes weight gain.

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

instead of those who bully them.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all
look perfect...you know, the perfection
being fed to us by the media. Unfortuntately
many try for that perfection and never reach it.
You have those who are thin who think they
are too fat and become anorexic or bulimic. You
have those who are overweight who spend
their entire lives trying to get slimmer
so that they can reach the the critics' perception
of perfection.

Let's face it. We have all bought into this
media image and now we sit back an criticize these people
for not trying to do something to help themselves.
Many have tried but it is not an easy thing to
accomplish.

I have read many threads about obesity on DU
and I have found very little sympathy or respect
for these people. Maybe if they received
some respect and encouragement, they wouldn't
feel so bad about themselves and it may motivate
them to make the necessary changes in their lives.
Instead, all I see is criticizm and ridicule.

Why not try walking a mile in their shoes. You
may just change your attitude about those who
are overweight.

I know what I am talking about. Been there,
done that!

Seems like compassion is near extinction and understanding is merely an empty word. "Image" trumps both.

We have so much work to do on our culture.

That was a pretty simplistic, defensive response. What people have posted is that there is a reason children in America are obese in record numbers. It's not a mystery, it's not a sudden increase in metabolic disorders.. it's bad eating habits and passive entertainment. It's the parents who need to get off their asses and model healthy eating and activity for the kids. Diets don't work for kids.. and they are detrimental. What I've seen on the thread today are people who are not blaming the kids.. but are commenting on how the kids get that way in the first place, and how to help them. Our 12 year old watches, maybe an hour of t.v. a week, at the most. We don't do fast food. I cook a lot from scratch, and I make plenty of desserts and other delectable foods. We just don't overeat, and we don't sit around all night wathing t.v. She went from being a child that was unhealthily obese, to being an athelete at school. No diets. No pressure. Just education and encouragement and guidance.

Trust me.. I know this issue intimately. No amount of self-esteem pep talks, and "I love you just as you are" speeches can fix the self esteem of an obese child. They'll tell you that they know better, that of course you love them, but they don't really want to be loved they way the are.. they want help. Parents just aren't in tune enough.. they're afraid of causing an eating disorder or hurting their feelings if they mention it. It's much more dangerous for kids to be left to their own imagination on how to solve the weight issues. Self-hate, dangerous dieting, suicide, are all a risk if you don't bring the topic out into the open. Obese children do not become anorexic normally. Usually the kids are thin to start with... it's another issue all together. Pretending there is no problem, while the child suffers humiliation at school daily, is very dangerous.

Popular culture has glorified the thin image.. even back in Victorian times. But the obesity is a medical problem and that is what is being addressed here... the bullying is not limited to obese kids, but any kid who is different. I was bullied because I was little!

,...and kind.

I wish more research would go into correcting the behavior of the bullies.

We don't need this BS research which tells us what common sense dictates.

But thankfully, no "compassionate" adult ever suggested to my mother that I dye it a different color.

Fat people are just about the last group that people have no trouble making fun of and discrimination against. Rather that changing the fat person, perhaps we should change peoples' attitudes toward them. That's what the Size Acceptance movement has been doing for over 30 years now.

and eat crap."

You advocate getting to the source of the overeating. What do you suggest when the source is the fact that the kid is miserable because he is getting the shit bullied out of him in school?

I hung around a little with a morbidly obese girl in middle school. She lost 100 pounds in 8th grade and still no one would talk to her. They gave her shit because she used to be fat- it followed her all the way to tenth grade when she dropped out of school and gained the weight back. (She joined the army, dropped out, and had a baby at 19 with an asshole who preyed on her desperate need for approval.)

I'm happy to hear you had such roaring success with your step-daughters but your experience isn't the whole picture. Simply using willpower and education isn't always enough to change lifelong habits (particularly ones as closely tied to our emotional state as eating)and particularly when external circumstances (like bullying) keep tearing kids down.

I hear what you're saying, but I think the emphasis needs to be on crashing down on bullying (for any reason) rather than reminding kids for the ten millionth time that they are fat because they're lazy and gluttonous. They have health programs in school. Most kids (especially fat kids) know enough about nutrition to know they are making bad choices. What most "helpers" don't offer is an alternative that works. I'm happy you were able to work together with your stepdaughters to provide one but you should realize that few obese children have the support structure to get the results you did.

They needed a study to prove that?