Jon Carroll: The Unitarian Jihad - Democratic Underground

regnaD kciN

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Sun Apr-10-05 06:19 PM
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Jon Carroll: The Unitarian Jihad

Edited on Sun Apr-10-05 06:27 PM by regnaD kciN

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.

Beware! Unless you people shut up and begin acting like grown-ups with brains enough to understand the difference between political belief and personal faith, the Unitarian Jihad will begin a series of terrorist-like actions. We will take over television studios, kidnap so-called commentators and broadcast calm, well-reasoned discussions of the issues of the day. We will not try for "balance" by hiring fruitcakes; we will try for balance by hiring non-ideologues who have carefully thought through the issues.

We are Unitarian Jihad. We will appear in public places and require people to shake hands with each other. (Sister Hand Grenade of Love suggested that we institute a terror regime of mandatory hugging, but her motion was not formally introduced because of lack of a quorum.) We will require all lobbyists, spokesmen and campaign managers to dress like trout in public. Televangelists will be forced to take jobs as Xerox repair specialists. Demagogues of all stripes will be required to read Proust out loud in prisons.

We are Unitarian Jihad, and our motto is: "Sincerity is not enough." We have heard from enough sincere people to last a lifetime already. Just because you believe it's true doesn't make it true. Just because your motives are pure doesn't mean you are not doing harm. Get a dog, or comfort someone in a nursing home, or just feed the birds in the park. Play basketball. Lighten up. The world is not out to get you, except in the sense that the world is out to get everyone.

More here.

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BrklynLiberal

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Sun Apr-10-05 06:22 PM
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1. That link took me to microsoft.com

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regnaD kciN

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Sun Apr-10-05 06:27 PM
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2. Link fixed, above.

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BrklynLiberal

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Sun Apr-10-05 06:38 PM
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3. Thanks. Great article.

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Demeter

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Sun Apr-10-05 08:04 PM
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4. Snicker!

As I AM Unitarian, I want to assure the world that any congregation may adopt such a plan, but no group must, and it would not be policy of the Unitarian-Universalist Association of America as a whole. We don't do things like that. Don't proseletize, don't send out missionaries, don't have a doctrine or an orthodoxy, just require tolerance, independent thinking, and respect for others and the earth. More like a debating society than anything else.

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gorbal

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Wed Apr-27-05 02:24 AM
Response to Reply #4

5. I hear this article has spaned quiter a movement.

LOL! I hear their are blogs talking about this everywhere. I wonder if their is another thread about it on here...hmmmmm. It was THE most quoted article for a whiel their, I wonder where it was quoted.

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