The Unauthorized Transcript of the President's UN speech

What follows is a transcript of the "President's" speech at the UN today. Don't trust those other transcripts -- mine is better.

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Mr. Secretary General, distinguished delegates, ladies and gentlemen,

On September 11, 2001, the center of New York City became a battlefield and a graveyard and one hell of a photo op.

You may wonder why I'm bringing up September 11 in a speech on Iraq, since I've admitted there is no connection between Iraq and September 11. Well, the only reason the American people supported me in the great effort in Iraq is that most of 'em believe there is such a connection, and I want them to keep thinking that.

Since that day, terrorists have struck in Bali, in Mombasa, in Casablanca, in Riyadh, in Jakarta, in Jerusalem--and mostly this terrorism didn't have much to do with Iraq either. But last month some different terrorist bombed the UN headquarters in Baghdad.

The U.N. headquarters in Baghdad stood for order and compassion, and for that reason -- and because the CIA got some boys liquored up and told 'em I was there -- the terrorists decided it must be destroyed.

(Read remainder...)

was a bunch of crap...I couldt help but notice that at some points in his speech his right hand would start shaking really bad. Weird huh?

The Bush speechwriters must've gone on vacation. The $87 billion speech and the one today were both so ... inane. You could round up a pack of high school students who could have written better speeches.

It's all in some kind of code giving out secret signals to the evil ones to do their evil deeds. All of his speeches are repetitive but how many before this one used "sex slaves"? Somebody should try to decipher this. Anybody good at code breaking?

I got the sense that he had wandered off into the wrong speech somehow. But the "sex slaves" thing might very well be a code. I don't know what, but it can't be good.

He's not looking bad today!
:D

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All publicity is welcome, as is beer and most desserts.

:toast: