Study: Euthanizing Right-wing Pundits Would Solve Global Warming

Study: Euthanizing Right-wing Pundits would Solve Global Warming

10/6/2005


Author says that would be reprehensible, but still a tough call.

EWM - (October 6, 2005) The scientific community was stunned today when famed French geophysicist Jacques Revanche published a study that concludes euthanizing right-wing talk show hosts would solve the global warming problem.

The report sparked a firestorm of controversy across the nation’s airwaves, even as Revanche sought to downplay its findings. “It’s true that if you wanted to stop global warming, you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could euthanize every right-wing talk show host in this country, and the global temperature would go down. That would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your temperature would go down.”

To gather data for the study, Revanche sneaked into talk show studios variously disguised as a plumber, hair stylist and, in the case of Bill O’Reilly, a falafel delivery boy. He then captured air samples in the vicinity of the hosts and subjected them to rigorous testing. The results varied widely. For example, Rush Limbaugh’s breath was found to be the pollution equivalent of an 18-ton garbage truck while Michael Savage’s sample scored just below a battery-powered dildo.

The project was not without its setbacks, the data had to be reworked when it was discovered that Fox anchor John Gibson has no cellular activity and was reclassified as “undead.”

(snip)

http://www.eyewitnessmuse.com/musings.php?p=163

If they need someone to give the KCl to O'Reilly, I nominate myself.

Doesn't anyone remember this?

"But I do know that it's true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down,"

-Former Education Secretary William Bennett