THE DaBUSHI CODE

Following his controversial blockbuster novel, Dan Brown is at it again, attempting to unlock the other great mystery of the world, in his new non-fiction book, The DaBushi Code.

Under Brown's theory, there has been a massive conspiracy to cover up the fact that George W. Bush is actually the offspring of Satan, who had sex with Barbara Bush as part of Poppy's initiation ritual into Skull and Bones at Yale.

Brown's premise is that this is the only logical way to explain Bush's instigation of a pointless and tragic war in Iraq, his reckless indifference to human life during Katrina, and his failure to seriously address global warming, The Devil's ultimate revenge against God's creation of the Earth.

According to Brown, coded messages that appear in the children's book, My Pet Goat, establish that Saddam Hussein is also the son of the Devil and Bush's half-brother, and the only "outsider" who knows Dubya's secret. That explains not only the Bush family's obsession with Saddam, but Saddam's sibling rivalry with Dubya, who posed the greatest threat to Saddam's status as "Evil Ruler of the Planet."

The DaBushi Code also postulates that contrary to popular belief, "WMD" had nothing to do with weapons of mass destruction, but actually stands for "W Must Die." This edict was handed down to Saddam from Satan himself, who was upset that Bush was giving "evil" a bad name.

Finally, in sharp contrast to The DaVinci Code, where a woman, Mary Magdalene, is portrayed as the greatest positive influence in Jesus' life, The DaBushi Code concludes that it was actually Mother Babs, and not The Devil, who was primarily responsible for Dubya's mean streak.

Dubya is a good reason to doubt the theory of Evolution in favor of Satan's spawn.