http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,12271,1087611,00.htmlTry this
Tim Dowling offers George Bush an alternative itinerary for his visit to Britain
Tuesday November 18, 2003
The Guardian
Dear President Bush,
Allow us to suggest the following changes to your itinerary, which we hope will make your stay more pleasant.
Tuesday evening: Arrive Britain. You are scheduled to be met at the airport by Prince Charles, which gives a fair indication of just how long ago this whole thing was planned. Unfortunately we're not even allowed to tell you why this isn't such a great idea. Trust us: order Air Force One to be diverted to Stansted. Say it was fog. There we can arrange for you to be met off the plane by Jade from Big Brother, who is much more famous than Prince Charles.
You don't want to spend three nights at Buckingham Palace. You should stay at Madonna's house: it has proper security, is in a nicer part of London and she's probably got a more up-to-date DVD collection. There's only one problem: she doesn't like you. Perhaps we can pitch it to her as a sort of peace summit.
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