AL-QAEDA MAKES APPEAL TO AMERICAN YOUTH

Al-Qaeda’s No. 2, Ayman al-Zawahri, along with an American member of Al-Qaeda, Adam Gadahn, yesterday issued a new videotape, inviting Americans to convert to Islam.

According to the terrorism experts who immediately blanketed the cable networks, terrorist recruitment in the United States had been seriously lagging. Al-Qaeda’s use of Gadahn — whose Muslim name is Snoop Azzam — was a desperate attempt to remedy that problem.

Indeed, instead of the traditional Muslim garb, Gadahn made his appeal wearing baggy jeans, a do-rag and a T-shirt emblazoned with the likeness of rap superstar 50 Cent.

The American-born Al-Qaeda convert also sported a rapper’s grill, which flashed his name in diamonds whenever he smiled.

Holding a beer, some reefer, and surrounded by 72 Virgin Ho’s — which he claimed was no more of a contradiction than military intelligence – Gadahn assured the American teenagers that they could be Muslims on their own terms, and that “this is not your Allah’s Islam.”

But the biggest reason to join Holy Jihad, Gadahn asserted, was that terrorists don’t get shot at as much as rappers.

Gadahn, however, did not limit his appeal to followers of rap culture, recognizing that many teenagers are also fans of grunge rock. He therefore promised that any suicide bombers would realize their dream of meeting Kurt Cobain in Nirvana.