Is Bush Really The Devil?

Is Bush Really The Devil?
Satan has better taste in shoes. Is far sexier. Can actually spell 'Venezuela.' I mean, come on

- By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Wednesday, September 27, 2006

It was a minor furor. A cute political hubbub, Dems and Repubs alike reluctantly defending poor confused Dubya from the slings and arrows of outrageous Venezuelans.

George W. Bush is the devil! cried otherwise wonderfully charismatic but also dumbly ham-fisted Hugo Chávez in front of a bank of U.N. microphones. America is the Great Satan! agrees Islamic fundamentalism, as it mindlessly firebombs a few thousand innocent cars and blows up various KFCs in endless examples of idiotic violence that, ironically, makes Allah shrink in humiliation.

It's a delightfully common appraisal, this Bush-is-the-Devil thing, one I hear frequently from my otherwise highly intelligent, liberal brethren. But is George W. Bush really Satan? Was he really sent to us by an angry and sighing God(dess) to test our ability to suffer toxic GOP fools with greater humor and more sex and good scotch? Let us examine the evidence.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/gate/archive/2006/09/27/notes092706.DTL&nl=fix

a man who claims to represent God but is really the opposite of everything he says he is.

But ain't that a bitch trying to fit them over those cloven hooves!!! Much as I dislike the Monkey, the Cowboy boots with the Presidential seal excepted, he does better in the shoe department--and more so, considering they have LIFTS in them--they're very well made, almost impossible to spot!!

...Are there some similarities? You bet. Like Dubya, the Devil desperately wants a grand holy war to settle, once and for all, just who owns the kingdom of heaven. And Satan degenerates horribly in "Paradise Lost," begins to take the form of many "lowly" animals (a toad, a snake, etc.) as he degrades. Bush, too, has devolved. He started out as a barely tolerable but initially benign political tumor. He has since become dangerous and deadly, a weird strain of Texas mold creeping into the heart of a wary nation.

The Devil smells of sulphur and fire. Bush smells of cow pies and stale beer. The Devil is wickedly, tremendously deceptive, bending entire armies of lowly demons to his will. Bush cleverly enflamed armies of lemming-like evangelical Christians to vote for him by way of gay bashing and woman bashing and fear, through the snarling machinations of his very own shiny Moloch, Karl Rove. It's a worthy comparison.

But alas, it is not enough. There is no majesty to Dubya. No real heat, depth, grand intellectual power to his evilness. Bush is to a real Lucifer what a rat terrier is to a werewolf, what Jack Daniel's is to a pure single malt, what a heat lamp is to global warming: A pale wannabe. A weak imitation, trying hard to scorch your soul but only managing a bit of a rug burn.

Sorry Mr. Chávez, but Bush is no Devil: He is not nearly capable enough, sexy enough, charming enough, debauched or gloriously ruined enough. Bush cannot possibly fill the Devil's gorgeous, tragic Prada shoes. He's far more akin to something to be scraped from the bottom of them.


The damning with faint praise in the piece is quite good, eh?

Last I checked, the Devil actually had a goal and a strategy to attain that goal. :evilfrown: :evilgrin:

They have goals.

http://www.newamericancentury.org/

That said, * ain't the devil. I've met the devil, and * doesn't hold a candle to him. Cheney...maybe.

Incapable of being executed by anyone, no matter how talented and lucky, but virtually impossible for these morons, as they have amply demonstrated.

The wittiest, most biting thing ever written since Dorothy Parker and Dave Barry gave it up.