American Indigestion: Why Bush Governs From The Gut

American Indigestion: Why Bush Governs From The Gut
by David Michael Green | Aug 31 2007 - 10:03am |


George W. Bush is actually one of the most educated of American presidents, believe it or not.

That statement depends, of course, on a couple of whopping assumptions. Like defining education formally, in terms of degrees received, and also on ignoring what happened (and especially what didn't) along the way to the sheepskins. But if you put aside those two monster caveats, Bush is actually in the top tier of America's 43 presidents. Only a handful of them had advanced degrees, and quite a few (up through as recently as Harry Truman) had no college at all.

But, of course, the assumptions turn out to be crucial, and they illuminate as clearly as one could ever imagine the difference between being smart and being educated (or, better yet, being educated and having letters after your name). By all accounts, including his own, Bush was both a lousy student, and an arrogant smart-ass to boot. It's hard to imagine how he could have received his Yale bachelor's degree or his Harvard MBA in the absence of his name, his money or his legacy. Indeed, both schools must be contemplating whether they can do the reverse of an honorary degree, and take one back for disgracing the institution by association. Bush, who has pushed so many boundaries these last seven years, may now also have pioneered a new phenomenon in higher education: the dishonorary degree (or, The Dis, for short). Given the size of federal grants involved, though, probably Harvard and Yale wait another 17 months before they hand theirs out.

Anyhow, there's Bush with his master's degree, 'more educated' than Franklin Roosevelt, and way ahead of either Washington or Lincoln (and not a few others), who did not go to college. And yet he is widely perceived as one of the dumbest presidents in history. Go figguh, eh?

~snip~

True, he does have the 'honor' and the 'glory' of an eight year joyride as president. That's a whole lot of attention for a guy who's spent a lifetime seeking it. But who wants that if it's incredibly negative attention, if you become a laughingstock, the village idiot, the worst president ever, the guy who wrecked his party entirely, the Bush who ruined a family name two-plus centuries in the making? Moreover, Bush has probably got a lot of good years left in him which could well yet be spent at a nice comfy prison in Danbury or perhaps The Hague if his history is ever allowed to catch up to him. And something tells me that President Hillary will not be in much of a pardoning mood. Perhaps he could pray to Karla Faye Tucker to put in a good word with Jesus for him. Oh, wait... Never mind. He will certainly grow more hated over time, as the bills for his presidency increasingly come due, and no amount of Camelot or Nancyalot post-hoc repackaging will ever be able to paste a shine on this stinking turd of a presidency. All this considered, wouldn't it have been better to just remain down in Texas, growing ever richer mooching off Daddy's connections and slurping Pinas by the pool, flipping through 1970s editions of Playboy, rolled-up hundred dollar bill hanging out of his nose?

The biggest irony of all is that it didn't have to turn out this way. Indeed, with 9/11, Bush might even have achieved the true kleptocratic goals of his presidency and still come out ahead of the game, perhaps even considered by history as one of the better presidents. But they gambled it all in Iraq on what they thought would be a cakewalk. It was an all-in, swing-for-the-fence, do-or-die, bet, and at one level there was a certain logic to it. The American people are so insecure, so lazy about history and politics, so callous and so casual about spilling other people's blood, that they would indeed have adored him had it all gone smoothly and quickly. He would have been a big-shot soothsayer tough-guy, his poll ratings would have soared, and he would have marched on yet again, probably into Iran or Syria.


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