Girls' soccer: Immigrant finds American dream, while getting very little sleep

Perry, Ia. — Yeymi Tobar received her high school diploma last weekend, but her life has already presented her with challenges.

And she has met them head-on while finding time to attend school, play varsity soccer, coach a youth soccer team and work the night shift at the Tyson Foods pork plant in Perry.

Her typical school day began at 10 a.m. and didn’t end until 1:30 the next morning.
Her schedule today includes the Bluejays’ Class 1-A regional quarterfinal against Dallas Center-Grimes. Tobar has a school-record 33 career goals, and this year’s team holds a 7-7 record, with the seven wins being a school mark.

“Soccer is my way to get away,” Tobar said. “It’s a way to release stress by kicking a soccer ball. It’s like my best friend, I would say.”

The 19-year-old, whose first name is pronounced Jay-mee, became the first graduate in her family after walking across the stage with her 129 classmates at Perry High School.

Life’s first lesson came at age 3, when she lost her police officer father in a post-bank robbery gun battle in Guatemala. She came to Perry with her mother, Quely Martinez, when she was 8. Older brother Jose and younger brother Cesar stayed behind with an aunt.

“I was supposed to be in second grade, but since I didn’t speak English, they put me in first grade,” Tobar said.

Martinez and half-brother Manasses Martinez returned to Guatemala when her visa expired, so Tobar looked after younger brother Cesar Tobar and half-sister Thamar Martinez while they lived with legal guardians Jeff and Tammy Benna during her eighth- and ninth-grade years.

Martinez returned three years ago. To help with family finances, Tobar took a job at Tyson 14 months ago. The pay rate is $10 per hour for part-time shifts and more than $12 for full-time shifts. She purchased a Jeep, but often working past midnight prevented her from being with friends or attending games on the weekend.

She doesn’t work on game days. Last winter, she would leave a full day of classes for a full-time shift on the “skinner” line. She works in other areas of the operation now.

“A lot of my friends are like, ‘Oh, you work a lot’ and stuff like that,” Tobar said. “I don’t mind. It’s what I like to do. I like working.”
Tobar doesn’t want her prolonged work habits to follow in the next generation.

“If I ever have kids in the future, I want them to work during school only if they want to, part time or whatever,” Tobar said. “I want them to be out for whatever they want, any sport, not to be a grownup at a young age.”

Tobar said she’s proudest of her ability to graduate, not dropping out because of work or other circumstances. Her mother and other family members watched her receive the diploma.

“It means a lot, most of all,” Quely Martinez said, with her daughter as translator.
Tobar pays for all of her needs, such as car insurance, clothing, cell phone and school costs. She also treats 8-year-old Manasses and 10-year-old Thamar to an occasional fun night.

At schools with high immigrant populations such as Perry, there are instances where students work long hours just to help keep the lights on, the rent paid and food on the table.

“When you throw in a motivating factor such as helping out your family, you’ll do just about anything it takes,” said Storm Lake superintendent Paul Tedesco, whose high school also boasts a large immigrant population. “When the family comes into play, we’ll all go the extra distance.”

Tobar doesn’t mind that she’s worked harder — and later — than many of her high school peers.

“I’ve grown up around people who have done it, so it’s like something I’m supposed to do,” Tobar said. “After middle school, that’s when I really matured and I had to start doing a lot of stuff.

“All the stuff my family has gone through, like immigration stuff, that helped me mature. I had to be like a mom to my little sister and my little brother.”

Tobar is trying to save money for college while handling her expenses. West Liberty High School principal Jim Hamilton said it’s a positive sign when a student’s earnings aren’t earmarked for material things.

“If they’re saving for themselves, they’ve really bought into the dream,” Hamilton said.
Tobar said her life likely would not hold what is available to her had she remained in Guatemala. Tobar said one of her cousins is already married and had a baby when she was young.

“I wouldn’t say that was what would happen, but most likely that’s what would happen,” Tobar said. “Coming here, it was probably the best decision my mom ever made. I know I’ve got the potential to go farther. I’m not back home where it’s like there is an end. Here you have a lot of help and support. I’m really thankful for getting this far.”

The Bennas gave Tobar an opportunity to stay in the country. Their daughter, Tatum, is a longtime friend of Tobar’s who asked her parents if Tobar could live with them.
Tammy Benna remembered wanting Tobar to be a kid, rather than always a worker.

“She was so used to being so responsible and helping out at her house so much that she was more like an adult moving in with us, and she was only 14 at the time,” Benna said.

Tobar remembered when she was young that a lot of her friends had Mickey or Minnie Mouse ears from trips to Disney World.

“I had heard about Walt Disney, but my friends actually got to go there,” Tobar said.

She did, too, last summer, when Denny and Sandy Glick of Perry took Tobar and her sister to Disney World. Denny Glick was manager of the Hy-Vee in Perry before retiring to Florida.

“They showed me what it was like to be a kid, taking me to Disney World and all that stuff,” Tobar said.

Tobar said one of her few regrets is not having her biological father with her.

“Even though (stepfather Conception Martinez) has been like a dad to us, he’s given so much and he treats us like his own kids, there are times I wish my dad was here,” Tobar said. “Then again, I like to believe that things happen for a reason.

“If not, I wouldn’t have my little brother and sister who I adore.”
http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080528/SPORTS08/80527054