The Adventures of T. Boone Pickens

Episode 13

by ThShifties

Late one evening at the Pickens mansion. The legendary billionaire has been entertaining John McCain and Karl Rove.

McCain: I think I’d like to take a break. Do you have a DVD player?

Pickens: Sure. to his assistant Show him, willya?

McCain follows the assistant down the hall to a recreation room. The assistant returns a few minutes later.

Pickens: What’s he watching?

Assistant: Top Gun.

Rove: It’s his favorite.

Pickens: Karl, I gotta ask you. What’s wrong with John?

Rove: suddenly wary How do you mean?

Pickens: He seems goofy. You know. Simple. The John McCain I recall was a pisser. Always mad at somebody. Now he acts like a booby. I saw him on TV the other night. Picks up an Obama tire gauge I felt like I needed this to measure the air pressure inside his damn skull.

Rove: I guess I can tell you.

Pickens: Tell me what?

Rove: He’s, well, dumbed down.

Pickens: You mean, like a lobo-tummy?

Rove: Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s more like self-hypnosis. He practices not understanding things. Being confused about issues.

Pickens: What’s the damn point?

Rove: surprised It’s for the campaign, of course.

Pickens: What’s bein’ dumb have to do with bein’ President?

Rove: Boone, when’s the last time we had a smart President?

Pickens: Bill Clinton.

Rove: Excluding Democrats.

Pickens: thinks Well… I’m thinkin’, I’m thinkin’, don’t rush me. I guess Nixon.

Rove: Right. And look how that turned out.

Pickens: So you’re sayin’ we don’t want a smart President. But then, who do we want?

Rove: A dope. A genial dope.

Pickens: I don’t see that.

Rove: That’s because you’re smart. Smart people never understand how much everybody else hates them. The conservative voter wants to cast his ballot for a candidate that doesn’t understand the issues any better than he does.

Pickens: Possibly a whiff of truth in that. Maybe even a stink bomb.

Rove: Think back to high school. Nothing’s changed.

Pickens: That’s just depressing.

Rove: Not to me. I built a career on it.

McCain reappears in the doorway, wearing pyjamas..

McCain: You don’t have any of that Italian ice cream, do you? Jellytoe? That stuff is just good.

Pickens: I’ll send out for some, Johnny.

More Episodes:

Episode 1: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=103&topic_id=370148&mesg_id=370148

Episode 2: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=103&topic_id=372406&mesg_id=372406

Episode 3: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=103&topic_id=372824&mesg_id=372824

Episode 4: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=103&topic_id=373182&mesg_id=373182

Episode 5: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=103&topic_id=373183&mesg_id=373183

Episode 6: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=103&topic_id=373339&mesg_id=373339

Episode 7: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=103&topic_id=374156&mesg_id=374156

Episode 8: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=103&topic_id=374157&mesg_id=374157

Episode 9: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=103&topic_id=374158&mesg_id=374158

Episode 10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=103&topic_id=374981&mesg_id=374981

Episode 11: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=103&topic_id=374989&mesg_id=374989

Episode 12: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=103&topic_id=375331&mesg_id=375331