LIMPBAUGH LOOK-ALIKES by Michael Hart

Limbaugh graciously poses with the four finalists of the CPAC Rush Limbaugh Look-Alike Contest. Right to Far Right: Regenald “Shitbag” Fecalbagh, Bob “Tarzan” Mountebank, Bobby Clifford “Cliff” Hanger, Bob “Bubbles” Bourbonhouse, and Rush “Hudson” Limbaugh.

WASHINGTON D.C. — When Sara Palin saw how much weight Rush Limbaugh had gained since the November election, she quietly chickened out of the CPAC debacle; she sent a riveting recorded message instead. The conservatauruses were disappointed of course, but they quickly filled the hole in the venue with an exciting alternative: a Rush Limbaugh Look-Alike Contest.

The response was overwhelming. In fact, so many balding, obese white men claiming to be bloviators showed up for the preliminary round, that additional stringent qualifications had to be added to keep the number of entrees down to manageable levels.

Sources close to the competition told us that the idea for another set of qualifications came from Limbaugh himself, which were said to include height, weight, and IQ restrictions that virtually assured no more entries would qualify.

The second set of requirements called for a minimum of 6′ 2″ in height, a maximum 220 lbs. in weight, and IQs over 85. Anyone who complained about the double standard was denigrated as a liberal and shown the door.

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http://www.urantiansojourn.com/2009/03/limpbaugh-look-alikes/

You know what's going to happen if people keep making fun of Rush's weight? He's going to relapse. That's how he lost weight before. Narcotics killed the hunger. He's so vain and egotistical that he won't be able to help himself. He'll talk himself into it. "Just a few pills to lose a few pounds".."I have too cause I'm in the spotlight" "I won't let it get out-of-control"

Rush was always doomed to fail his sobriety because he never did the steps. He didn't do them because HONESTY is essential. He can't tell the truth and he knows it.

I give him six months before he's in trouble again. Keep an eye on his weight.

PICTURE AT LINK

vs.



separated at birth?