Fried Green MALARKEY at the Whistle Stop Café

Fried Green MALARKEY at the Whistle Stop Café
by Dr. Precloud Jónsson

Faithful readers, I know you’ve been enjoying all my columns about MALARKEY, because really, and I think we all know this, the column is actually about you. And you, and you, and you over there too. It’s a column about all of us and the malarkey we deal with every day!

That’s why I’d like to raise a dedication in this week’s column. That dedication is to you, the average men and women who slog through the malarkey in an effort to make a better world. We tread in malarkey from pillar to post, and by the time we’ve crossed the bar to a glorious new world, we’ve really soaked our boots in it!

I know that when I go for any sort of walk around my compound here in B.C., my boots can get pretty grimy! And there is a remedy for that – one most people probably wouldn’t even think of. That’s toothpaste! You simply mix together a little toothpaste and vinegar, and rub this compound on your dirty boots. Half an hour later you can wipe it all off with a soft, dry towel, and hey presto! Boots as clean as the living dawn of a bright new day.

And sometimes it takes a new day to shake off the tribulations of the old. I was at the wine store the other day and found myself in conversation with a very down-and-out-looking individual. We’ll call him “Ezekiel.” Well, Ezekiel was wearing a shabby coat and some very filthy boots, and when I approached him to let him know that there was a better way – the toothpaste and vinegar way – he was most grateful. He asked me for some change so that he could buy a bottle of wine. And then we spoke about the hardships of life and the value of eternal friendship.

By the time we parted ways, I like to think that each of us learned something. Ezekiel had learned how to clean his boots. And though he had no household tips for me as such, I had gained a deeper understanding of what you might call the universal misery of life, and of the remarkably profound malarkey some of us have to deal with. It was a way of putting things in perspective, I guess, and all it had cost me was seventy-five cents in change and a few moments of my time.

But don’t get me wrong: time is a precious thing, and we must cherish every moment if we can. That’s why it’s important to be able to shrug off the little annoyances, and to be able to tell the serious malarkey from the insignificant. It’s not always easy, especially when you are possessed of an Icelandic temperament, as I’d guess most of you readers are! Maybe being of a Nordic race gives us a more melancholic view of life – why, look at that Swedish film director.

I’m not surprised to meet an Icelander and find his disposition on the shadowy side of things. After all, winter there lasts an eternity and it’s dark for much of the year. How, I often wonder, do they grow the fruits and vegetables which are so necessary for life? Plants need sunlight, and when there isn’t any for several months in a row, I question how they can survive. But that’s the Icelandic way, I guess – thriving against the odds. Why, look at the state of things in that country today. Friends, I’ll take B.C.!

I still think sometime I might like to move there, if only to get away from the bureaucracy and the comptrollers and everything else that plagues our daily lives here in North America. It would be a fresh start, a place where nobody would know my name and all would extend their hands in simple friendship – the simple friendship of a simple people. I reflect on that and come to this conclusion: it’s not a lot to ask. Friends, won’t you join me there?

I thought it would be nice to put all the text so people didn't have to go to the trouble of clicking on a link.

I am glad you enjoyed them. Dr. Precloud Jónsson really seems to know what he's talking about.

Thanks - if I send this on to others, I always provide a link.

On edit:

I don't think there is a link, because I googled and came up with only the DU references.

So it is bogus.