Garrison Keillor: I was so wrong

http://www.salon.com/opinion/keillor/2009/10/07/healthcare_for_republicans/


I was so wrong

Even people who oppose regulation and don't mind manufacturing hamburger contaminated by E. coli deserve healthcare

By Garrison Keillor


Oct. 7, 2009 | OK, it was wrong of me to say last week that we should deny healthcare to Republicans except for aspirin and hand sanitizer, and thank you to the many readers who kindly took me to task. It was so wrong. And I withdraw the idea that death panels should circulate through red states searching for the obese and slow afoot, the wheezy and limpy, spray-painting orange stripes on their ankles, marking them for future harvest. That was very, very bad.

Republicans have the same right to quality healthcare as anyone else, and you can quote me on that. Even people who are crazed stark raving berserk by the thought of a president with three vowels in his last name deserve to be treated with kindness and dignity, and shot with tranquilizer darts by game wardens and wrapped in quilts and taken to refuge.

snip//


In the great contest of autumn -- Art & Adventure vs. Parenthood, Hitting the Road in Search of the True You vs. Attending Parent-Teacher Conferences & Hearing About How We Need to Work On Sharing -- Republicans vote Neither. They're mostly about maximizing profit in the short run. They are the folks who buy a healthy company and then sink it under an enormous debt load that goes to pay them a vast profit even though the company is sinking, and the creditors get shafted.

They are the ones who are dead-set against government regulation and do not mind manufacturing hamburger patties contaminated by E. coli, and if someone becomes terribly ill from eating one -- a young woman in Minnesota almost died from a Cargill hamburger and will likely never walk again -- nonetheless Republicans remain staunchly opposed to G-men snooping around the slaughterhouse, and so I should never eat another Big Mac or Whopper or any other ground meat other than that ground from whole sirloin by a butcher as I watch. Never.

We are back to the 19th century so far as meat is concerned. This has been accomplished by those incredibly rude men who occupy first class on the airplane and elbow themselves ahead of elderly women in line as they yammer into dangly cellphones. They have nothing to do with art and even less to do with bringing up children. They are a danger to society and an embarrassment to their children. Nonetheless, if one of them falls down with a heart attack, he should be cared for, same as anyone else.

Thanks for posting! K & R!!

Bravo, Garrison!!! :applause:

it took me quite a few years to finally understand.

I love his writings and rarely disagree.

Great to see him writing again.

These all have 3 vowels:
Washington
Jefferson
Madison
Monroe
Van Buren (I assume his name counts)
Harrison (Tippecanoe)
Taylor
Fillmore
Pierce
Buchanan
Garfield
Cleveland
Harrison (Benjamin)
McKinley
Hoover
Kennedy
Reagan :puke:

A few even had 4 vowels:
Roosevelt (Teddy)
Coolidge
Roosevelt (Franklin)

One had a whopping 5 vowels:
Eisenhower

And only one begins and ends with a vowel:
Obama

:rofl:

Even AmericA is unAmerican then!

Or it could be that he meant "names which sound too much like a person who isn't white", but he didn't want to be accused of playing the race card.

He would have been right if he'd said it that way, though.

Eisenhauer, for 6.

:rofl:

vowels in his last name deserve to be treated with kindness and dignity, and shot with tranquilizer darts by game wardens and wrapped in quilts and taken to refuge."

The kindness and dignity part I take issue with, but the hilarity of the imagery is perfect.

Garrison never fails to wrap his wisdom with wit.

Recommend.

What a master of simple elegance in words.

Great minds... ;)

Of course that's why they come for us first.

"that death panels should circulate through red states searching for the obese and slow afoot, the wheezy and limpy, spray-painting orange stripes on their ankles, marking them for future harvest. That was very, very bad."

I would take this personal, since I am obese, limpy and wheezy. But then I thought....Is he talking about Michael Moore. He is more obese than I am, more limpy and more wheezy. Does he not realize that some of us fat old disabled people are liberal? Or am I, as usual, just being dim-witted. ;)

Illinois is blue thinks to Chicago. Southern Illinois is mainly red except for a few counties, although most of the area politicians elected are Democratic. Hard to read.

mike kohr

knows my political standing and my support for Obama much to my daughters disapproval. She is quiet and tries to keep her politics to herself. I don't know how I ever gave birth to such a person. :shrug: :rofl:

Now it's Gay - OK, but heaven forbid: "My Own Son (or Daughter) - REPUBLICAN! Where O Where Did I Go Wrong?

My own grown son and daughter are aware of my teeth-gritting liberal militance, but they keep their own political opinions pretty much to themselves. Holidays and special occasions usually come with a homeload of intelligent and active liberals, so they've been fortunate in their upbringing. We have no close family members to avoid. My son used to throw out Lincoln references as proof of good in the Republican universe. I had to point out that the Republican Party of the 1860's evolved into the Democratic Party of today. He was just trying to get my goat.

I think they're both solid Democrats.

but keep it to themselves because of their employment, and the fact my daughter is extremely quiet (unlike me). My son is suppose to be more un-political at his place of employment but he is more out spoken (like me) and his conservative co-workers know to shut up when he enters the room.

My daughter objects to me speaking at all, much less about politics, religion and anything else that can be controversial. And getting my goat is her favorite pass time, or according to her embarrassing her is my favorite pass time. ;)

that sort of hover about the ear.

Keep fighting the good fight, Garrison! Even if it's for those who'd deny you coverage, and continue to oppose you every step of the way...

strikes again!

When the kids were little we would put tapes of Lake Wobegone on for long car trips. I will NEVER forget hearing my young son's first chuckle in appreciation in the back seat at Garrison's down home wit and wisdom.
He "got" him. I'd birthed a child capable of great wit!!!
And I loved it.

Peace,
Lilly

and a great Democrat. :thumbsup:

She often says on her show, "I despise most Republicans, but I fight for them, too"

Fighting for the "common good" means just that - fighting for EVERYONE, including those who unwittingly vote against their own best interests.

It's actually impossible to love these assholes. But at least he tried. :)

should die or be made to suffer whether they are liberals or Republicans as it is their "own fault" for not electing Dems. God Bless Garrison. He is a real and compassionate human, unlike some who call themselves "Democrats" or "liberals" with no understanding of either word. He would never tell Democrats to just "move" to a Blue State when they have no way to do so. Garrison is a "real" Democrat. A Wellstone Democrat in a proud traditon.