A Most Oppressed Minority

A Most Oppressed Minority
By David Glenn Cox


Oh, my dear friends, get out your crying towels and prepare yourselves for a tale of misery and woe. You just can’t make this stuff up. Well, you could make it up, but other than Fox News viewers, few would ever believe you.

Some of you might remember my recent article “One Big Circle,” about how many conservative groups were little more than well-funded fronts. I wrote about how they are rehashing each other’s literature and advertising and being, in effect, elephants walking in a circle tied trunk-to-tail. This was centered around the world premiere of an anti-environmentalism film, “Not Evil Just Wrong.”

But now, dear friends, there is another danger even greater than the threatening rage of Al Gore. They want your children! That’s right, they want to take your children and indoctrinate them. To steal their free will and turn them into robots. Leftist robots!

Under the Banner STOP LEFTIST ABUSE!

“CampusReform.org is designed to provide conservative activists with the resources, networking capabilities, and skills they need to revolutionize the struggle against leftist bias and abuse on college campuses.

Created to give conservatives powerful new weapons in their fight for the hearts and minds of the next generation of citizens, politicians, and members of the media, CampusReform.org facilitates the establishment of conservative student networks and supports their development as a powerful voice of activism on their campuses. It makes available new opportunities for groups’ interaction with alumni, parents, faculty, and other members of the broader community interested in taking a stand for conservative principles on America’s college campuses.”

Problem is, when your party is against support for higher education and against expansion of Pell grants, those ideas aren’t always popular on campus. So, what do conservative students do to fight their oppression? They whine, cry and bemoan their poor treatment; it’s all because the big leftist bogeyman has it in for them.

Here's a list of Leftist Abuses on Campus:

"Large numbers of courses presented that explicitly in their catalog descriptions push leftist ideology, but no balance of conservative principles offered in the curriculum.”

"Faculty who express in class blatant contempt of conservative ideas.

"Assignment by faculty of one-sided textbooks and readings which systematically push leftist ideas and denigrate or ignore conservative ideas.

"Compulsory freshman orientation programs and 'sensitivity training' designed by leftists to undermine traditional values.

"Mandatory seminars for students on how to have 'safe sex' with little or no mention of the possibility or merits of abstinence or marriage.

"Enforced diversity in every area except for the adherence to or the teaching of conservative principles."

They are whining that colleges ought to reinforce what they already believe because they came to college because they already know what they wanted to learn. If the college challenges those beliefs, they are abusing them. Or they picked the wrong college. Auburn University, for instance, is the home of the Von Mieses institute; a larger collection of conservative nuts balls is hard to find. Have conservative beliefs? Go to a conservative school!

As for “sensitivity training,” it wasn’t created out of thin air. It was a response to little cretins who had never been away from home before and didn’t know how to behave around big people.

But my favorite is “Mandatory seminars for students on how to have 'safe sex' with little or no mention of the possibility or merits of abstinence or marriage.” The party of personal responsibility wants to teach abstinence because otherwise the young conservatives might get into trouble.

It just gets goofier and goofier from there.

“Betrayal of Liberty and Intellectual Pluralism on American Campuses, a powerful speech by Professor Alan Charles Kors -- How higher education is a threat to individual liberty and is dominated by the extreme political left.”

They spend an entire page of their website explaining how conservatives weren’t hired by universities and that their views are shunned and denigrated. How conservative professors were denied advancement and tenure, and then they offer as proof a speech by a TENURED conservative college professor.

Activism Ideas:

Movie Night -- They suggest hosting a screening of “Not Evil Just Wrong”

Protest the continued ACORN corruption

Raise awareness about America's slide to communism!

Bring the Right Books to Campus Week

Host a Tea Party Tax Revolt

Second Amendment Awareness Day! (You can’t make this stuff up!)

Healthcare Wheel of Misfortune -- Make a street theater set with a game analogous to the classic show, “Wheel of Fortune.” Ask passersby to participate by spinning the wheel to reveal the potential dangers of government-run healthcare. Make each section of the wheel highlight a negative effect of national healthcare.

Military Appreciation Quilt -- Make a quilt to honor a service person (Perhaps then maybe a taffy pull or look at pictures on the stereoscope. Nothing says weekend fun in the old student union like a quilting bee.)

Celebrate a conservative’s birthday! -- Pass out literature and treats in honor of a famous conservative's birthday. For example, Barry Goldwater was born January 1, 1909, Ronald Reagan on February 6, 1911, or Russell Kirk on October 19, 1918. (Shouldn’t be hard to draw a crowd for Barry Goldwater’s birthday. There’s always a crowd on campus New Years Day anxious to celebrate all those people who are so relevant to today’s young generation.)

Anti-Anti-War Rally -- Leftists love to bash our troops and our involvement in wars that keep Americans safe. Why not hold an event to counter the leftists’ hostility towards the American military? Rally support on your campus for the advancement of freedom and democratic ideals. (So, host your own pro-war rally. Better still, enlist!)

Anti-Vagina Monologues Event -- "The Vagina Monologues," an episodic play by Eve Ensler, vehemently promotes an anti-male worldview, portrays women as perpetual victims, and is unapologetically anti-heterosexual. If this offensive play is being held at your campus, take action!

Global Warming Beach Party -- Throw a “beach party” serving frozen non-alcoholic margaritas and pina coladas from a tiki hut. Set up a kiddie pool as decoration and pass out pamphlets and papers explaining the truth about “global warming.” This event could be held at any time of the year, but it is most effective when held in light snow. (Make sure not to serve alcohol or they might end up having safe sex. Nothing says crowd pleaser like passing out non-alcoholic frozen drinks on a cold day.)

Anti-UN Day -- Set up a plywood board made into a bean bag toss with the faces of dictators from around the world which the UN has failed to influence significantly. This is an excellent event to point out the UN’s hypocrisy, ineffectiveness, and negative effects on the United States. (Or maybe a bomb Iran dart board!)

Charity Bandits -- This is a street theater project in which two or more members of your group dress up as bandits, complete with ski masks, black from head to toe, and very obviously toy water pistols. They then hold up anyone who passes by to demand money for the poor. This is designed to illustrate how government taxation and charity constitute theft rather than real charity. (Caution, make sure that scheduling doesn’t coincide with Second Amendment Awareness day!)

Empty Holster Protest -- For the empty holster protest, members of your group wear empty holsters throughout the day and hold a rally for concealed carry on college campuses. This is an easy event to organize and a great way to get media attention.

Gun Raffle -- The gun raffle is a good event for Second Amendment groups, general conservative groups, and libertarian groups to gain publicity and raise awareness about current Second Amendment and gun rights issues.

Conservative Coming Out Day -- This event for general conservative groups is an excellent play off Gay/Lesbian coming out of the closet events and will probably be met with serious opposition or even protest. (Or even a serious ass beating!) However, this is designed draw attention to the bias against conservatism on college campuses.

Affirmative Action Bake Sale -- This event is fun for general conservative groups or libertarian groups which highlights the unfairness of reverse discrimination which occurs through affirmative action programs. The bake sale has “affirmative action prices” which favor minorities and women over white males.

They are just so oppressed and they just can’t understand why. It must be that evil leftist oppression. They are discriminated against on campuses across America when all they want to do is share their conservative views.

Pro-war, anti-education, anti-poor, anti-healthcare, anti-UN, anti-environmentalism, anti-LGBT, pro-guns, anti-feminism, pro-military, anti-tax. Yet they wonder, why don’t people like them?

I wonder how they ever made it to college in the first place. I fear that if they attempt some of these activism projects they will learn something about diversity very quickly. You just can't make this stuff up!

Circle the wagons as they will, Reality will still sneak into camp and destroy their delusions.

The neocons have an eternal inferority/persucution complex, and always play the victim card.

...and the "good" fraternity, made up of fascist cretins. The religious right are anti-science, and the Rand-ians are anti-compassion. Shove off, and go to your own college! Then, let's see where a degree from it will take you.

name one of these "liberal courses". Biology? Physics? Calculus? Organic III?

What exactly is it they want from college anyway, if not an education? Something to pass the time with fellow conservatives? Go to church, and stay there.