George W. Bush -- Asshole

Jon Stewart on yesterday's The Daily Show had it exactly right. George W. Bush is an asshole. The word "asshole" perfectly describes what Bush is, a phony, pushy, smug, smirking ... asshole.

Think back on the election when Bush leaned into Cheney and called Adam Clymer a "major league asshole." Well it's now clear that Bush was speaking from experience. Bush is an eighth degree black belt, major league, Guinness Book, barrel proof asshole.

There is an article in Salon today in which the authors argue that Bush is a phony and should be exposed as one. I agree. In conversation with Republicans, I have found that referring to Bush as (for example) "Top Gun" really scores. I think Bush is teed up to be smacked down as the phony asshole he is.

Bush waxed pious about the "politics of personal destruction" even as his minions personally destroyed McCain and then Gore. Maybe Bush needs a taste of his own medicine?

on edit: spelling

no truer words were ever spoken

about Bush's assaholism??

The Asshole Song

Folks, I's like to sing a song about the American dream. About me. About you. About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts-maybe below the cockles-maybe in the sub-cockle area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon, we dont know.
(singing)

I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job
I'm your average white suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job
My kids and my car
My feet on my table
And a cuban cigar

But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
(oh no) Uh-uh (no way)
No, I've gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
(Oh yeah)
Yeah yeah
(Yeah yeah)
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane,
While people behind me are going insane

I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets
and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime
Sayin', "How 'bout this heat?"

I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole)
I'm asshole
(He's the world's biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces,
While handicapped people
Make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole)
I'm asshole
(He's a real fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Rainting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm
Wrong......

Nah!!

I'm an asshole
(He's an asshole)
I'm asshole
(He's the world's biggest asshole)

(Screaming, now, the ultimate ugly American)
You know what I'm going do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertable - hot pink with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather interior and big brown baby seal eyes for the headlights. I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115mph, getting one mile per gallon, sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned nonbiodegradable containers. When I'm done suckin' down those greaseball burgers, I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam container right out the side and there ain't a goddamned thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why. Two words nuclear fuckin weapons, okay? Russia, Czechslovakia, Romania - they can have all the democracy they want, have a big democracy cakewalk walk through the middle of Tianamen Square and it won't make a lick of difference because we've got the bombs, okay?!

John Wayne's not dead - he's frozen. And as soon as we find a cure for cancer we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well multiply that by 15,000,000 times - thats how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Cassavetes and Lee Marvin and Sam Peckinpah and a case of whisky and drive down to Texas...

(Hey)
and have a humongous barbecure-
(Hey)
we're gonna go to LBJ's ranch and start a bonfire
(Hey!)
and throw deer and rabbits and cats and old people, and-
(HEY!)
slow drivers and MIckey Rourke and - (HEY)
(You know something? You really are an asshole)
Shut up and sing the song

(He's an asshole)
You empty little simp. I thought I was the asshole-
(He's a real fucking asshole)
And it was him the whole time
(He's an asshole
(He's the world's biggest asshole)
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
(everybody!)
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
(barking),br> Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf
(snapping) Chimg fump ching puh fluh cluh bing
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it.

E F E F XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

chords censored by court order

"The chords E and F have been copyrighted by the Plaintiffs, hereafter known as the band "Metallica".

....cheer for this song, and don't think it's satirical at all, to easily elect a President.

Well I was driving down I-95 the other night,
when somebody nearly cut me right off the road.
I decided it wasn't going to do any good to get mad,
so I wrote a song about him instead. It goes like this...

Were you bo-rn an asshole, or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine, 'cause you're an ass-hole tonight.

Yes you're an A-SSHOLE, and don't you try to blame it on me,
you deserve all the credit, you're an asshole tonight.

You were an assho-le yesterday, you're an ass-hole tonight,
and I've got a feeling, you'll be an asshole the rest of your life.

And I was talking to your mother, just the other night,
I told her I thought you were an asshole, she said "yes, I think you're right".

And a-ll your friends are assholes, 'cause you've known them your whole life,
and somebo-dy told me, you've got an asshole for a wife.

Were you bo-rn an asshole, or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine, 'cause you're an ass-hole tonight.

I posted a thread yesterday about the Phony article, but I had a nagging doubt about the language used to embody the concept. "Bush is a Phony" is sort of passe language, IMO. I was thinking of respinning it to "Bush is Fake," but it still didn't ring right.

Bush Is An Asshole is perfect.

Although it doesn't really encompass what a fake, lying, phony asshole he is. Can we add adjectives?

Ask any proctologist! Going through life without a sphincter is no fun at all.

But we could all get along without Dubya. In fact, life would be MUCH better without him in power!

Some little story about why assholes are always in charge. The brain wanted to be causehe's smart and all other organs wanted till the asshole said he wanted to be in charge and when they didn't let hime he just stopped. So they let him be in charge. In the end the narrator didn'y know whether to laugh or cry. I think it was here on DU, but it was definitly years ago, near the begining of THIS assholes rule.

Just ask your average Republican.

;-)

I am all for it and so much more.

He's just passing through.

Calling Bush an asshole is an insult to millions of assholes in this country, some of whom I happen to work for.

They should be pissed.