how to be a republican

Things Republicans Believe

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

"Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

But I also think it mirrors the kinds of things floating around during Clinton's second term. I think as public opinion shifts our way-and power-and I believe it will this election, we have to show restraint in becoming our enemy. We all complain about the ugly tactics of the right. We should not stoop to those tactics-if elections and politics are about ideas, not "buzz" we will win every time. Our ideas are better.


Edit: I think this particular example, especially because it highlights past republican dirty tactics, is no where near "over the line." I just urge caution, and restraint, and, rare enough in the political culture of our country, graceful victory.

"Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery"

but you forgot or a Governor's daughter. Of course, picking on Noelle for her crack is really low. Except, crack? Come on, that is like such a cheap 80's drug. Aren't the cool people doing heroin and ecstasy now? And speaking of cheap 80's - what was with her hair?

No really, I shouldn't post this (but I will). Poor Noelle, if I was part of that family, I'd do drugs too.

http://cronus.com/quiz

and the very popular Real Republican Platform....

http://cronus.com/platform

:)