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Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes, Long as I have my plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car
I could go a hundred miles an hour Long as I got the Almighty Power Glued up there with my pair of fuzzy dice {Refrain - repeat between every verse} Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations, We will travel every nation, With my plastic Jesus I'll go far. I don't care if it rains or freezes As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus Glued to the dashboard of my car,
You can buy Him phosphorescent Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant, Take Him with you when you're travelling far
I don't care if it's dark or scary Long as I have magnetic Mary Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel I'm protected amply I've got the whole damn Holy Family Riding on the dashboard of my car
You can buy a Sweet Madonna Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a Pedestal of abalone shell
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary 'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell
I don't care what they say, I'm gonna Keep on prayin' to that pink madonna Melted to the dashboard of my car.
I don't care if it bumps or jostles Long as I got the Twelve Apostles Bolted to the dashboard of my car
Don't I have a pious mess Such a crowd of holiness Strung across the dashboard of my car
No, I don't care if it rains or freezes Long as I have my plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car
But I think he'll have to go His magnet ruins my radio And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar
Riding through the thoroughfare With his nose up in the air A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
Trouble coming, he don't see He just keeps his eyes on me And any other thing that lies behind {as refrain}
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Though the sun shines on his back Makes him peel, chip, and crack A little patching keeps him up to par
When pedestrians try to cross I let them know who's boss I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town Trying to run them down And it's seldom that they live to see the morning {as refrain} Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right And I use it as a sight And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far
When I'm in a traffic jam He don't care if I say Damn I can let all sorts of curses roll Plastic Jesus doesn't hear For he has a plastic ear The man who invented plastic saved my soul {as refrain} Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car
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