"Middle Eastern Think Tank" + "A White House prayer meeting"

By: Leon Kuhn

Source: http://www.peace-not-war.org/Images/index.html

P.S.

"A White House prayer meeting"

By John Brand, D.Min., J.D.

"Jerry Falwell: Mighty and Gracious God, Omnipotent and Omniscient Lord of All. We give Thee thanks that in this time of great national need, this time of homosexual terrorism, this time of abortionist evildoers, this time of narrow-minded destructive atheists, Thou hast ordained George Bush to implement Thy Holy Word contained in Thy infallibly, eternally true Bible.

George Bush: Almighty Father, how grateful I am that you have opened my eyes to Thy revealed word. Be rest assured that we shall act as Thy faithful and loving servants to fulfill what Thou hast written. Thank you for delivering me from my early youthful indiscretions so that now I can devote myself with a clear head, a pure mind, and a saved soul to the work of destroying the evil ones who would seek to harm Thy blessed nation.

Dick Cheney: Lord, Thou knowest, I am a man of few words. I command and my underlings obey. In a sense, Lord, I am much like you. I pull the strings and my will is done.

By the way, Mr. God, have you ever thought about incorporating heaven? I can cut you a great deal. Heaven would become a subsidiary of Halliburton, incorporated in Grand Cayman. I guarantee you 23.5% of the stock. Your R.O.I. will be better than your present rate. Let our minions work out the details.

Donald Rumsfeld: Oh Lord, Thou knowest the ways of the evil-doers.

Accept my gratitude for having deputized me to be Thy Chief-of-Staff to fulfill Thy promise to Abraham.

In your Holy Book, it is written in Genesis 15:18,19, "On that day the Lord made a covenant with Abraham, saying, 'to your descendents I give this land, from the river of Egypt to the great river, the river Euphrates, the land of the Kenites, the Kenizzites, the Kadmonites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Rephaim, the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Girgahshites, and the Jebusites.'"

Lord, we want ever to be obedient to Thy word. Therefore we are embarking to recover all of Egypt, all of Iraq, the former territory of the Hittites (present-day Turkey,) and sundry other lands to be controlled by the descendents of Abraham. Jerusalem, as Thy Word demands, shall dominate from Khartum on the Nile to the Persian Gulf to the Bosporus. Lord, Thou hast made that promise. We shall fulfill what is written.

Lord, if it takes the blood of thousands of our young men and women, if our economy be reduced to shambles to fulfill Thy Word, we then shall suffer and die for Thy glory! We shall conquer the evil-doers to the glory of Thy Holy Name.

John Ashcroft: Glory, Glory, Glory. Let all the People praise Thee! Let them lift up their hands in Holy Prayer. Thou didst proclaim in Ps. 9:17 that "the wicked shall burn like a fire." The book of Revelation 22:15 says that "outside are the dogs and sorcerers and fornicators and murderers and idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices falsehood."

Lord, Thou knowest that everything is in readiness to place the unbelieving dogs in their proper place. The Patriot Act has been passed. Lord, Thy gracious Will has anointed me to be judge over sinners and evil doers. Lord, as soon as Thou givest me a sign, I will swoop upon Thy enemies and they shall be placed in the great wine press (Rev. 14:20.) Glory to the Lamb! Hallelujah to the great God of Love.

Colin Powell: Lord, Thou knowest I am but a humble servant ever ready to do the bidding of my lords. As the President commandeth, so I do. As Thou dost command, so I will do. By the way, High and Mighty God, do you have a nice position open for my Son? He is great at this communication business. Lord, I am sure he will arrange for the Heavenly Choir to sing at Prime Time at all major T.V. outlets. We will plaster color pictures of the Heavenly Cherubs in all major newspapers.

Elaine Chao, Labor: In Mark 14/7, our Lord and Savior said "you always have the poor with you." According to Thy Will, we are doing everything in our power to keep the poor in a state of constant need. In obedience to Thy Word, we will not raise the minimum wage. We will fight universal health care at every bend in the road. It is all to your Glory and Honor so the poor, as Thou hast said, will always be with us.

John Snow, Treasury: Not only in Mark but also in the Gospel of John 12:8 it is stated "You always have the poor with you." Lord, we are doing everything in our power to give big tax rebates and tax cuts to the rich. Were we to ease the yoke of the poor, we would surely violate Thy Word. So bless us, Lord, as we make the rich even richer and fulfill Thy Command that the poor shall be always with us.

Tommy Thompson, Health and Human Services: Lord, Powerful and Mighty is Thy name! We are doing everything we can to make certain that you have an abundance of poor in our Land so you can show your everlasting mercy and graciousness unto them. Since Thy healing hand comforts Thy creatures, we would not want to interfere with Thy mighty works. Heal them, O Lord! We shall stay out of Thy way.

Lord, surely, Thou dost understand that our present drug proposal is just a sham to satisfy the lowly masses in our land. Hast Thou not taught us in Romans 5:3 that "we boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us." Lord, we bring about suffering so that millions in our nation will have the strength of character you so highly value. Lord, empower us as we seek to be faithful to Thy Word.

Spencer Abraham, Energy: Lord, Thou hast said very explicitly in Genesis 1:26 that Thou didst give man dominion over the earth. Lord, Thou didst not specifically mention mineral rights. Our legal department checked with Thy office and, after prayerful consideration, it was unanimously decided that all things on earth are to be subjected to humankind.

We make full use of our resources. We build Hummers and monster trucks; we do not insulate our buildings; we discourage mass transportation. In short, Lord, we put all things under our control.

Lord, we prevail upon Thee to use Thy power to eliminate the sinners who would seek to conserve the riches Thou hast given us. Bring boils and warts upon those who put obstacles in our way to drill in the Alaskan Wilderness. Hast Thou not said that all things are under our control? Oh Lord, deliver us from the evil dogs who do not believe Thy Word.

Paul Wolfowitz, Deputy Secretary of Defense: Lord, Thou hast heard how hard we are working to fulfill Thy Words. The Prophet Samuel, Thy obedient servant, slew King Agag, King of Thy enemies, the Amalekites. He personally hewed Agag to pieces in accordance with Thy Will. It is ever so recorded in 1 Samuel 15:33. Lord, we are Samuel's modern-day deputies. Like that great Prophet of old, we shall hew to pieces, fry to a crisp, radiate to death all of Thy enemies. Hallelujah!

Karl Rove: Like the heavenly multitude before Thy Throne, we echo their chant, "Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God, forever and ever! Amen." (Revelation 7:12) How overflowing with gratitude we are that Thou hast anointed us to do Thy will in the world. In Revelation 14:10,11 it is stated that unbelievers "will also drink the wine of God's wrath, poured unmixed into the cup of His anger, and they will be tormented with fire and sulfur in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment goes up forever and ever."

Lord, it is with humble and contrite hearts that we accept the task of deciding who are the unbelievers. Lord, trust us that we shall most diligently set upon the task of purifying Thy earth which Thou so graciously has entrusted to US.

Let all the people say: Amen and Amen!"

*John Brand is a Purple Heart, Combat Infantry veteran of World War II. He received his Juris Doctor degree at Northwestern University and a Master of Theology and a Doctor of Ministry at Southern Methodist University. He served as a Methodist minister for 19 years, was Vice President, Birkman & Associates, Industrial Psychologists, and concluded his career as Director, Organizational and Human Resources, Warren-King Enterprises, an independent oil and gas company. He is the author of "Shaking the Foundations."

John Brand encourages your comments: jbrand@YellowTimes.org

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