The Reagan

The Reagan

by Frank Jacobs


Once upon a cold November, back in `80, you'll remember,
Came to pass a great election, with a wondrous change in store;
By a landslide, one was winning, promising a new beginning;
Tall and proud, he stood there, grinning, like so many times before;
Who was he, this cool one, grinning, like so many times before?
'Twas The Reagan, nothing more.

Once he was inaugurated, Reaganomics he created,
Promising a balanced budget, like we had in days of yore;
"Though," he said, "our debt is growing, and a bundle we are owing,
"I'll cut taxes, 'cause I'm knowing this will save us bucks galore;"
"Please explain," a newsman asked, "how will this save us bucks galore?"
Quoth The Reagan, "Less is more."

Pushing for defense, he pleaded, brand-new missiles would be needed:
"That's the only way," he said, "to keep the country out of war;"
"True," he said, "they're not required, and they're not meant to be fired;
"In five years they'll be retired--still we must build hundreds more;"
"Tell us why," a newsman asked, "we must be building hundreds more?"
Quoth The Reagan, "Jobs galore."

Was he real or from a movie? "Make my day" sure sounded groovy,
Standing up to Congress or the rebels in El Salvador;
Flicks like "Rambo" he promoted (sev'ral times, it should be noted);
Once John Wayne he even quoted, when Kaddafi threatened war;
"Does this mean," a newsman asked, "we're heading toward a Mid-East war?"
Quoth The Reagan, "Hit the shore."

During times he wasn't dozing, many plans he was proposing,
Dealing with the deficit, which he no longer could ignore;
"Cuts," he said, "I'm recommending, pending our ascending spending,
"With attending trends suspending, then extending as before."
"Does this mean," a newsman asked, "a balanced budget like before?"
Quoth The Reagan, "Nevermore!"

"I don't recall"