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Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with
water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is
clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal
fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his
first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily
medication. His medications are safe to take because
some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their
safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his
employer's medical plan because some liberal union
workers fought their employers for paid medical
insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his
morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe
to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws
to regulate the meat ! packing industry.
In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo.
His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient
and its amount in the total contents because some
crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he
was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The
air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist
wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from
polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for
his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him
considerable money in parking and transportation fees
because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable
public transportation, which gives everyone the
opportunity to be a contributor.
Joe begins his workday. He has a good job with
excellent pay! , medical benefits, retirement, paid
holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union
members fought and died for these working standards.
Joes employer pays these standards because Joe's
employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.
If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll
get a worker compensation or unemployment check
because some stupid liberal didn't think he should
lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so
he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally
insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal
wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous
bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great
Depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage
and his below-market federal st! udent loan because some
elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government
would be better off if he was educated and earned more
money over his lifetime.
Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father
this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets
in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest
in the world because some America-hating liberal
fought for car safety standards.
He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third
generation to live in the house financed by Farmers'
Home Administration because bankers didn't want to
make rural loans.
The house didn't have electricity until some
big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't
belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His
father lives ! on Social Security and a union pension
because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made
sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't
have to.
Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns
on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying
that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He
doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have
fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys
throughout his day.
Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government
liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a
self-made man who believes everyone should take care
of themselves, just like I have.
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