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REPUG POLI-SCI 101 > > Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's > daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion. > > Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade > with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony. > > The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing the U.N. resolutions against Iraq. > > A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but > multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind > without regulation. > > Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary > Clinton. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the > troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay. > > If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex. > > A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money. > > Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism. > > HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart. > > Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, > but creationism should be taught in schools. > > A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable > offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which > thousands die is solid defense policy. > > Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet. > > The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but > George Bush's driving record is none of your business. > > Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a > conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our > prayers for your recovery. > > You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt. > > What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80's is irrelevant.
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