Rather's Pithy 2000 Election Sayings

On election night in 2000, I was watching Dan Rather cover the returns. I heard him use a couple of very corny sayings, and decided to write down as many as I could. I have saved them for your viewing enjoyment (I'll skip the context placers):

1. Cross as a snapping turtle.

2. Shaky as cafeteria jello.

3. Mad as a rained-on rooster.

4. Melting faster than ice cream in a microwave.

5. Spent money like he shorted Microsoft.

6. Like a tornado througha trailer park.

7. You can bet the rent money.

8. Still hotter than a Laredo parking lot.

9. More likely to see a hippopotamus run through this room than . . .

10. They are as close as pages in a book.

11. Walk through a furnace in a gasoline suit.

12. Like a big wheel through a cotton field.

13. Don't bet the trailer money.

14. The good book says, the race is not always to the swift.

15. Counted absentee ballots 'til the cows had gone to sleep.

It was really getting on my nerves....and I'm a Texan, too, like Dan.

Some of those sayings are quite common in Texan speak.

But Rather accidentally swallowed a square dance caller right before going on the air. I think he hid it pretty well, but it did lead to some odd expressions.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

was my favorite.