SAMMYBLUE's Top Ten Conservative Idiots of the week (Vol #2)

I know you're all pretty bummed about last week. I am too. But, now is not the time to give up the fight against conservative idiocy. And the last 10 days have given us a a lot of that. Fundies and Freepers (1) came out in force to vote, though their votes might have counted more than regular peoples, due to Election Tricksters (5). Karl Rove redefines his nick-name Turd Blossom (2), Ralph Nader is a waste of good sperm (3) and Rick Santorum may be in some hot water (7). Top it all off with a Bush Hat Trick (4, 6, 8) and we have tons of fun heading right into the Rapture. And, as always, don't forget the KEY.


Fundies and Freepers
In the movie "Inherit the Wind," Gene Kelly opines to Spencer Tracy while looking at an angry mob from their third story hotel window "Well, those are the boobs that make our laws, it's a democratic society." Never has that been more true than the idiocy that happened on November 2nd. Exit polls showed that the #1 issue of day: Moral values! Imagine a Fundie or Freeper voting on November 2nd: Quagmire in Iraq after dropping OBL like a hot potato? Nah! 44 million people without health insurance. Fuck 'em! Forgetting about Iran and North Korea's nuclear programs that endanger American lives. Fuck that shit! I want to make sure that two gayo-Americans don't do what consenting adults can do. . .get married! Yes folks. Moral issues. Armed with a Bush win, http://www.crosswalk.com/news/1295841.html">Jerry "Sued Hustler Magazine for a parody of him" Fedwell plans to start a brand new, improved "Moral Majority," the likes never seen since the fall of the Tali ban! Imagine! Women taken to court for murder when they have an abortion! Homosexuals stoned for being open in public! CREATIONISM ON DEMAND! Step right up, Freepers. This is what you voted for! An America walking proudly back to the 1200s. I wonder, if in 2066, there will be another battle of hastings. Oh, in case you want to throw up some more, check out http://www.werenotsorry.com/">this waste on the web. Talk about bringing people together!


Karl Rove
I'm glad the adults are back in charge. http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/politics/2893164">Karl Rove AKA Turd Blossom was continuing "his public victory dance Tuesday, attributing Republican dominance in part to cultural issues such as gay marriage as well as a strong turnout of regular churchgoers," according to the Houston Chronicle. Rove quoted that gay marriage was a great issue to use, saying "People do not like the idea of the concept of marriage as a union between a man and woman being uprooted and overturned by a few activist judges or a couple of activist local elected officials." Well, golly-gee. You conservative bigots said the same thing about blacks and whites marrying and the United States didn't fall about. This shit stain continued by saying that 527s were something bad to politics, instantly attacking George Soros. However, "When pressed, he also faulted independent groups working against Kerry, such as the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, which ran ads questioning Kerry's Vietnam service. He said the Swift Boat group, whose leaders included Houston attorney John O'Neill, had an impact on the race. "Would our system have been better off without the 527s? I think so," said the double-chinned one. Gee, why didn't you scream against the Swift Boat Liars during the race, Karl? Why didn't your boy tell them to stop? Why? Because you supported them. People on the Swift Boat Liars worked for the Bush Re-Selection campaign. So, there you have it, folks? Turd Blossom is not only a manipulator, but a bad liar too. I'm so glad we have four more years of this.


Ralph Nader
Oh how the little have fallen? After falling to get even 1% of the vote in 2004, Ralph "15 minutes are over" Nader conceded the election and went home. Well . . .not quite. He demanded a recount. Yep, Nader believes that since "over 2,000 citizens including voting rights advocates urging in writing the Nader Camejo campaign to help make sure every vote is counted and counted accurately." That's nice, Ralph. You have people's best interests in heart. Except, why then are you working to undo Kerry victories as well as the contested ones in Florida and Ohio. Yep, New Hampshire, which NEVER goes Democrat, is one of the states that Nader wants a recount. One last ditch effort to stick it to Democrats, eh, Ralphie? Why don't you take the millions you got from the Bush tax cut . . .oops, Great Economic Toilet Flush and go home! Dammit, this is getting old with you.


George W. Bush, Part 1
More Chimpy! More Smirks! More Secret Government! 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11. Yep! Welcome to the second verse, worse than the first verse, because now Bush think he has a 51% mandate. Yes, asshole! Earth to Cokehead! A mandate is 55% or higher. Why? Because then you have beaten you opponent by 10 percentage points and a LARGE majority is with you. Give the fact that Ohio and Florida's votes are currently being contested, don't for a second think that you have a mandate! But, President Oops thinks that he has "political capital" to spend. And what's the first thing on his mind: Replacing John Asscroft with Alberto Gonzales. This is a man who believes the Geneva Convention is "obsolete." Think Abu Graib was bad? Think infinite detentions of American Citizens are bad? Think the USA PATRIOT Act is a nightmare! Wait until this douche becomes AG. Another part of Bush's "capital" is to Privitize Social Security. Nothing like having the FICA tax you pay given to an unsure market place before you can decide what you want to do with the tax money. Then, if the market tanks, you're left with nothing! Well, since Bush tanked Texas and is tanking us now, nothing like tanking old folks and poor people too! Thank G-d gayo-Americans can't marry though!


Election Fraudsters (and by extention every major media outlet in the Country
Wow. 2000 looks a lot like 2004. And vice versa. Here's something no major media outlet is carrying. It seems that hackers could have manipulated that vote counting in Florida. And, here's something out of Ohio. It seems Warren County shut down public access to the vote count for a number of reasons, none of which seemed to stick for more than 10 seconds. Add the fact that Diebold swore to give Ohio to Bush, Florida sent out a flawed felons list, Absentee ballots mysteriously vanished from both states and the Secretary of State and Governor of both states worked for Bush's (re) Election and you would have an interesting case for a possible flawed election, right? I'm sure the news agencies would be all over this, right? Wrongo. . .Kerry conceded. Nothing more to see here. Survivor's on. Go back to sleep, stupid American voter!


George W. Bush, Part 2
Yes, thanks to George Bush, this economy is getting better. We have a bumper crop of good jobs. But, what's this? on this forum? Click on the hyperlink on the forum page and you'll see a less than rosy outlook on our economy. "In the week ending Nov. 6, the advance figure for seasonally adjusted initial claims was 333,000, an increase of 2,000 from the previous week's revised figure of 331,000. The 4-week moving average was 336,000, a decrease of 5,500 from the previous week's revised average of 341,500." That doesn't sound like an increase in jobs. And of the jobs being made, what kind of jobs are they? McJobs that pay $5.15 an hour? Even more good news. The Euro is now higher than the dollar. In fact, the dollar is at an all time low against the Euro. Our economy is tanking, yet the socialist ecomonies of Europe are thriving. We're getting more "go it alone" and the Europeans are working together. Yes, Bush does deserve four more years. And my barf bag is already lined up.


Rick Santorum
Rick "frothy mix of feces and lube usually found after anal sex" Santorum seems to have his ass in a bit a sling. See, our boy Ricky has a house in Virginia and a House in Pennsylvania. That's the not problem. The problem is the house in the District is usually unoccupied and the district in Penn Hills has spent over $100,000 this 1997 to cyber education his kids. "He may be a taxpayer, but he's not a resident," said School board member Erin Vecchio, chairwoman of the local Democratic Committee. Santorum's hatchman's response: "He is a resident of Penn Hills. He travels to each of the state's 67 counties," Robert Traynham said. So, this is how it's done? Own a vacant House in some area in your state, claim you're a resident in that district, then saddle the district with a HUGE bill to education your kids who live two states away from the vacant house. Sounds nice. Why not pull your kids out of that school, Homophobe, and put them in a school in Virginia? What a hypocritical jerkoff.


George W. Bush (Trifecta)
I thought "major conflict in Iraq was over last year." Why are we then launching a huge offensive against "insurgents" as we speak? Ad to top it all off, we don't have enough troops to do the job with the right equipment. But, don't worry, in Bizarro world which is Bush's "Arbeit Mach Frei" America, the troop levels are just fine and we don't need any more. Yes, our Great Leader heard from G-d that we are just fine. Never mind the fact that, in this "successful" assault against "insurgents," over 200 Americans have been killed or wounded. Also never mind the fact that, according to Ret. General Tommy Franks, we could be there another three years. Also, never mind while our country falls apart internally, Bush and the GOP in Washington will pony up another $90 million to rebuild Iraq, bringing the total cost for the war to around $350 billion, money that could have been spent here instead of looking for cooties in Saddam's hair. And how good are we protecting the Iraqis? Ask them about today's events! Bang up job, George.


Department of Defense
"Hell no, there won't be a draft!" Uh. . .bullshit!


Department of Homeland Security
Shortly after the election, the Orange Alert the Country had was dropped the Yellow. Damn, what a fucking surprise. Good job fear mongering, Bush! You stole another one. Asshole!

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