John Ashcroft's Christian Song Album -- Lyrics, Anyone?

http://www.whitehouse.org/media/ashcroft-bacon/index.asp

Come up with your own subtitles or lyrics for these!

Original Titles to John Ashcroft's songs:

SIDE 1
1. Why Me, Lord | 2:44 |
2. Reach Out to Jesus | 2:25
3. Jesus Hold My Hand | 2:22 | MP3 (2.2 MB)
4. The Broken Vessel | 3:38
5. King Jesus | 2:13 | MP3 (2.0 MB)
6. Unseen Hand | 3:25 | MP3 (3.2 MB)

SIDE 2
1. Didn't He Shine | 2:40
2. I Find No Fault In Him | 3:00 | MP3 (2.8 MB)
3. More About Jesus | 2:14
4. We've Come This Far By Faith | 2:12
5. Come Holy Spirit | 2:25
6. Jesus Is Lord of All | 2:56


Here are my subtitles:

SIDE 1
1. Why Me, Lord: I Don't Know Nuttin' Bout Birthin' no Democracies | 2:44 |
2. Reach Out to Jesus, Cause the Government Won't Help You | 2:25
3. Jesus Hold My Hand, To Make Sure My Gay Neighbor Doesn't | 2:22 | MP3 (2.2 MB)
4. The Broken Vessel: Don't Drop the Pretzel Bowl When You Fall | 3:38
5. King Jesus, King George, What's the Difference | 2:13 | MP3 (2.0 MB)
6. Unseen Hand: How the Election Was Won | 3:25 | MP3 (3.2 MB)

SIDE 2
1. Didn't He Shine, Especially When Doused in Crisco | 2:40
2. I Find No Fault In Him, For George Is Faultless | 3:00 | MP3 (2.8 MB)
3. More About Jesus, Less About Healthcare and War: How the Election Was Won Part Two | 2:14
4. We've Come This Far By Faith, So Why Not a Faith-Based Foreign Policy? | 2:12
5. Come Holy Spirit, Drape Ye the Satanic Statue Boobies | 2:25
6. Jesus Is Lord of All Who Vote Republican, Otherwise You're On Your Own | 2:56

Anybody else inspired to write some subtitles or lyrics?

(Puke Warning: Clicking the MP3 links on the webpage will make you screamn and/or :puke: ).

it turned out to be all too true! maybe asscrack will want to record it.....

(from The Question W Revue)

GOD'S AN AMERICAN

UNDER GOD OUR COUNTRY STILL REMAINS!
ALL BLESSINGS FLOW, FOR RIGHTEOUSNESS REIGNS.
TRUST IN THE BIBLE.
SING HYMNS OF PRAISE TO THE LORD!
JERRY AND PAT ARE YOUR FRIENDS
YOU CAN TRUST THEM
WHEN THEY SAY......
WE KNOW THAT GOD'S AN AMERICAN
A PATRIOT THRU AND THRU!
WE KNOW THAT GOD'S AN AMERICAN.
HIS ROBES ARE RED WHITE AND BLUE!

KEEPING THINGS RIGHT WHILE WE'RE WAITING FOR RAPTURE
BREATHE IN THE INCENSE OF MYRRH.
GOD LOVES OUR GREAT FRUITED PLANES--
JUST MINUS ALL THE FRUITS...
GOD IS QUITE CLEAR ON THIS:
GAYS MUST BE SILENCED
OTHERWISE, THEY WILL FIND NEW RECRUITS.
IT WAS NOT ADAM AND STEVE,
BUT ADAM AND EVE!
AND BUSH WILL PRESERVE OUR SANCTITY!
WE KNOW THAT GOD'S AN AMERICAN!
A PATRIOT THRU AND THRU
WE KNOW THAT GOD'S AN AMERICAN
HIS ROBES ARE RED, WHITE AND BLUE.

WE KNOW THAT GOD PROTECTS RED STATES.
WE KNOW THAT GOD APPROVES OF THOSE WE HATE!
WE KNOW THAT GOD BLESSES JUST YOU AND ME.
HE LOVES SELECTIVELY!

UNTIL THEY'RE BORN WE WILL FIGHT FOR EACH BABY
AFTER THAT, KIDS YOU'RE ALL ON YOUR OWN.
WELFARE AND HANDOUTS ARE NOT LIBERTY
WE WILL KEEP THE BOUNTY THAT WE HAVE GROWN.

WE KNOW THAT GOD'S AN AMERICAN
REPUBLICAN THRU AND THRU
WE KNOW THAT GOD'S AN AMERICAN.
HIS ROBES ARE RED, WHITE AND BLUE.
IF GOD COULD VOTE, HE WOULD VOTE FOR BUSH!
IF HE GOD COULD VOTE, HE WOULD VOTE FOR CHENEY TOO!
SINCE GOD CAN'T VOTE, YOU MUST VOTE IN HIS NAME
JOIN US OR FEEL THE WRATH OF OUR AMERICAN GOD!

Lyrics copyright 2004 by Jeff Matson
All Rights Reserved.

If so, could you post a link?
If not, you should!

due to union rules, I can't distribute a tape or CD of the performances from this summer. (would have to do a studio recording and don't have the money right now)

I AM publishing my lyrics (mostly parody) in book form very soon though:



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