Bushco's new plan to solve pesky deficit and SS problem.

(Your indulgence, please. I posted this as a reply to two different threads much earlier today, whereupon both threads promptly died an untimely death. I am posting a new thread on the chance that a few others may enjoy. Thank you--tanyev, Mighty Thread-Killer.)


Secretary of the Treasury John Snow has announced a new plan to fight this country's growing deficit. "We are going to replace the question on all Americans' tax returns which asks if you would like to contribute $3.00 to the Presidential Campaign Fund. We will instead be asking if you would like to donate $3.00 to paying down the deficit. These funds will then be invested in Powerball Lottos nationwide. We expect the revenue generated to take care of the deficit within five years."

Snow responded harshly to critics. "It is obvious from all of the corporations and very wealthy individuals clamoring to donate money to Republican candidates that federal funds are no longer necessary for our elections. And there is absolutely no truth in the accusation that this strategy will take money away from poor people. Let me emphasize that we will only be investing in jackpots that exceed $100 million. No poor person would know how to manage that much money anyway. After they buy a house, car, and a few restaurant meals, what else do they need?"

President Bush clearly approves of the new plan. "Yep, that's why Ol' Snowball gets to keep his placemat at the Cabinet Table a little while longer. I knew he had to have at least one good idea left in him," he yelled at reporters as he strode forcefully across the White House lawn to a waiting helicopter. After a pause to appreciate his own humor, he continued, "Naw, seriously, we're gonna look at using some of that lotto revenue to help out Social Security, too. Not that my plan needs any help, but maybe this will finally shut up those people that are still whining. What's that old saying? We can kill two birds with a bird in the hand." The president then gave a casual wave and vaulted athletically into the already ascending helicopter.