Military Wife Hits Jackpot (okay, I'm just venting)

I saw a segment on my local news tonight that just made my jaw drop. It's a long and ultimately stupid story, so stay with me.

It's one of those 'problem solver' segments...starts with the reporter talking about the sacrifice of military families, and how they often need a little extra help over the holidays. No problem there.

Cut to a fairly new, rather nice brick ranch, with two new vehicles in the driveway, including a brand-new 4x4 truck. Inside, the place is a mess (this was my first clue something was odd about this 'problem' - wouldn't you clean up your pigsty if a film crew was coming over? Especially one you'd CALLED YOURSELF?)

They introduced a middle-aged woman and her five young children. The father has been in Kuwait refueling helicopters for six months. The woman gives a quick tour of her filthy house, complete with a glimpse of her 'office' that's so piled full of crap and empty Planter's peanuts cans she can hardly get to her computer to email her husband. When she gets to her basement, she waves to a small card table that's piled with trash and refers to it as her husbands 'woodworking shop'. If there are any tools there (doubtful), it's buried under all of the old magazines and junk.

Then she shows a small piece of cardboard taped to the wall with "TO DO" written across the top. Under "Don" (the husband) she has pinned up a huge stack of 3x5 index cards (no doubt 'clean entire house' is on HIS to do list). Then she weeps when she says how pulling into the driveway and seeing his (brand-new) truck makes her think he's home. LOTS of weeping.

Now comes the good stuff. She tells us that because her husband is such a skilled handyman around the house, things have started to fall apart and he's not there to fix anything. Okay, I think. She has a minor plumbing problem or perhaps the gutters need fixing, and some good samaritan will volunteer an hour or two to help out. But...OH MY GOD.

She starts her "I need a handyman tour' in her kitchen, where the countertop has completely separated from the wall and from the sink. She picks up her entire countertop and drops it back down - and exposes a huge gaping hole in the wall. Next, she points out that her kitchen cabinets were sagging (they looked like they were all about to come off of the wall, and the cabinet doors were completely out of alignment), and that her kitchen floor tile is all cracked. The kitchen looked like a major earthquake had just hit.

Then we're given a tour of her bathroom - the casing around the bathroom window was COMPLETELY rotted out, just small bits of exposed rotting wood. You could stick your entire head out of the open space to the outdoors. Of course, she explained, the rotting wood has allowed water into the wall tiles in the shower, and damaged the bathtub, so all of this needs to be replaced and new windows are required.

Now, her husband has only been gone for six months, and two entire rooms suddenly becoming slum housing? He was going to do all of of this major rehabbing on his little card table 'woodworking' shop? In six months, the wood completely rotted out from the window casements? The entire kitchen floor cracked?

What's worse is that the station found a contractor who had been looking for a military family to help this Christmas. Get this - they're doing a major remodeling on her whole friggin' house totally free of charge.

This just hit me as so opportunistic - you live in a shithole, your husband goes to Kuwait for six months, and you use it to abuse the generosity of others to get your house rehabbed for free. My father was Air Force and it wouldn't have occured to anyone in my family to leech off of the goodwill of strangers and lie about the condition of a house before a deployment. It's so clear by looking at this place that it was every bit as bad before he deployed.

Perhaps I just have 'support the troops' fatigue. I probably should have felt a tinge of sympathy for this woman with five kids at home, but her greed just outraged me.

Okay, I'm done. It just really pissed me off.

my first thought.

I came back from a war, bitch sold my truck and termites done eaten my house, and I got a list

Ohh I got a list of things to do-yeouu!

That's not just a little handywork that's piled up over a mere 6 months!

Remember how the people who got the "free car" got walloped with taxes due??

The VALUE of the services provided her are INCOME ....

Free stuff is not really free if it's above a certain amount..

Your neighbor comes in and fixes a clogged drain./.....that's free


a BUNCH of licensed contractors "donate" their services.. That's INCOME...especially when they do it in PUBLIC.. They are after "free face time and advertising", and she's after free stuff...

There's nothing altruistic goin' on here...or they would have contacted her priavtely, and just done the work...and it would be between them and her..

Some of them are having trouble now because their property taxes have skyrocketed. The show "pays them rent" for the week which supposed offsets the income tax.

Shows like This Old House and Bob Vila's Home Again come in and install tons of top-shelf stuff, which they get free from the manufacturers.

If Norm comes in and puts $50,000 worth of stuff on your house, your house picks up at least $150,000 in value, partly because of the stuff, partly because your house is no longer run down and partly because it was on television for 13 weeks. I know I can't afford the property taxes on a $220,000 house, which is what mine would be if Norm put $50k worth of goods and services into my home.

but yeah, what you said - sounds like a Rip-Off.
Cripes, there are families in Real need, like someone said - sell off one of your damned gas guzzlers.

what a cow.

Thyere are lots of single moms in much worse situations that would be more deserving of help.

I felt the same way about how the rich WTC victims families got compensation "in keeping with their income" and the poor ones got shit money.

This country is sick.

I know it's a stereotype. But, I feel I can say it because...

I AM AN ARMY WIFE

Many of the military wives I know are whining, opportunistic, lazy, little brats. I didn't say ALL! (Or it could just be sour grapes because of my current problems with a certain person in my husband's platoon and his freeper wife, but my husband will say the same any day.)

See my other post :)

No sympathy from me. Bed, made, lie.

That would be a more appropriate gift.

A sick call slip for a vasectomy and a ride to the Troop Medical Clinic.

And more to do with the inane, manufactured, totally worthless "feel good" segments produced by local broadcast news outlets.

If the producers spent their time out acutally reporting about things that really matter in their communities, they wouldn't have time to package this shit and sell it on the 6 o'clock news.

But, then again, they give the viewers what they want to see.

Oy.

Keeping in mind that it wasn't everyone:


My husband and I act as Secret Santa to whatever company we are in at the time. The Command would help us with the names of married soldiers who had a need. We would start buying up toys in October and by December 15th, we would have an entire room of toys to wrap up and deliver to the company. The CO would then see to it that the families in need got their gifts. No one knew it was us.

Along the way a kind stranger would donate a toy to our cause or the officers would donate money to command, who would then gave us the money for our project.

We helped a lot of good-hearted and truly needy families.

But then last year...the "Iraqi Deployment"

With all the help military families were getting from all over the country, my husband and I debated continuing our Secret Santa project. I was already put off by the shocking behavior of many spouses. How they grabbed up anything and everything "free to the military". (and some of them never once bothered to send their spouse a care package the entire time they were deployed). Some never paid their bills.

Through long distance calls and emails, my husband and I decided to go ahead with out yearly project...for the kids if no one else. We feared some of these people were probably neglecting their children as much as they were neglecting their spouses. Simply spending that extra pay on themselves instead of paying bills and taking care of business. I never judged a child by the actions of it's parents and I wasn't going to start then.

A kind lady in Tennessee who found out about our project sent a check. A very large check. She wanted no thanks but wanted to help. This lady will always have my thanks and she's in my heart forever.

We normally spent about 800-1000 each year on the project and this check allowed us to buy even more and for more families.

We lucked into brand new bikes, both girls and boys, for 20 bucks. We also bought toddler trikes and even a few scooters. All on sale at very good prices. I felt great knowing I could make some kid happy.
We did this every year but the joy of giving was always fresh and new.

I was into the giving and not allowing the bad of the deployment to intrude upon my feelings. Not even thanksgiving...let me tell you about thanksgiving..I must digress here.

I managed to secure food baskets for 20 needy families in my company. Based solely on need...actual need. Well, the riot that caused from the "I want everything free, my husband is in Iraq crowd" was deafening. Boy, did I get an earful about that.

Back to Christmas...seems some of these military freebie queens were on my list for Secret Santa. I seriously debated removing their names because I knew of their actions - such as hitting up every group they could for toys, hitting up the parents of single soldiers for help and spending that extra pay without a thought to tomorrow. Besides, some of them were just not needy....but they had convinced Command that they did need help. So on my list they went. I kept their names in the end. It was the right thing to do and I felt better knowing I was helping a kid, as I said before.

So I had a house full of toys: bikes, trikes, tonka fire trucks,dolls,games, leapfrog learning games, etc. All kinds of stuff.

The toys were delivered to command for pick-up. The day after pick-up, the military freebie queens started complaining. "My kid didn't get a bike" (their kid was 2 years old and got a toddler trike)...Our company had a message board to keep in contact with all the families during the deployment. So these very rude complaints were going on a very public board. They bitched and they bitched. A good many people told them to shut up and stop being jerks. ...to be gratful.

This year? NADA. I'll never play Secret Santa to a single military family again.

Just like in your example, Neecy, some of these people are just plain greedy and opportunistic. They played on the deployment of their spouse and begged for everything free. They took advantage of kind hearted people and then shoved their kindness back in their face.

I headed the family group for the Iraqi deployment in my old company. These military freebie queens never thought to send thank you notes to any group helping them. I was constantly digging into my own pocket to get appreciation plaques made to send to the groups helping out.

Again, it's not all military families that behave this way...and some do actually need help...but some are just plain trashy.

I'm so happy to be in Germany and away from those people. I've never seen a more horrible bunch. Maybe it was the deployment that brought out the worst in them...but I don't think so.


DU'ers helped with my old company by sending single soldiers care packages. Those soldiers appreciated them greatly. They told me so upon their return. They (the soldiers) were shocked to learn how people behaved while they were deployed. They were so grateful to get anything at all they couldn't understand how others complained.

How wonderful to be in Germany...especially after Ft.Riley :)

Is your husband's "deployability to Iraq" over now? I sure hope so..

I agree with you about the "freebie queens".. The problem as I see it is the "volunteer military".

In times past, MOST young men did military service because they HAD to, so there was a better "cross-section" of people.

Since the volunteer army came along, there's a disporportionate number of young people gravitating to the military BECAUSE of the freebies. Perhaps these people had kids before they could "afford" them or before they finished their schooling, so the jobs available to them were not "family-supporting", so the military was a natural draw for them..

The draft actually made a lot of sense because it "usually" meant that young UNMARRIED soldiers made up the majority of the lower ranks, and "base housing" was usually denied them anyway, so a wife and kiddies was not in the picture at all. For the lifers, they usually had a pretty good idea of what military life was like, BEFORE they married someone.

The "new" military is a magnet for single Moms (who start off behiind the 8-ball) looking for freebie benefits for their kids... and young poor people who cannot find decent jobs "on the outside", and are loooking for free college..

To be fair.. All these "perks" are advertized as a lure to get them IN, so I guess they had a right to expect that they would be forthcoming....but now that there's a real chance that they could DIE, I guess the greed is really coming to the forefront..

I liked a lot of things about Fort Riley. There was a hilltop I could go to and watch the sunset. Very peaceful and very beautiful. Some of the people were another matter entirely.

I am glad to be away from there though.

I love Germany. We had to call in some favors to get this assignment but it was worth it. My husband is garrison, so no deploying for 3 years. We are already opting to COT and stay here 6 years total, with no deploying. He can retire after that.

We may just retire here. Lots of military do.

:puke:


at least it USED to be:)

Can't blame you for wanting to stay in Europe.. Lucky You :)

Normally I'd feel a little guilty about piling on a military wife, but her greed was just so over the top. Your experiences help to put this in perspective a little - I had no idea it was a big ol' free-for-all with this deployment. What's still amazing to me is that she phoned the station and did the whole weepin' gig ON AIR in her trashy house to get this stuff. I'd be so mortified, but she obviously had no shame.

that didn't have the decency to be ashamed of themselves.

I would have been crying for some of this free stuff when my husband was deployed! LOL ;)

You know, it never occurred to me to take adavantage of the situation.

I didn't need anything. It would have been just plain wrong. Heck, when DU'ers were taking names to send care packages, I never once added my husband's name because I took care of his needs.

What I really did need only the government could do and they weren't about to do it. (end the invasion and stop the carnage)

the only thing I needed once in a while was help fixing minor things and a couple recruiters I knew helped me with that.

I do know some people that expected free crap... my husband's parents. Yes, his parents! They went to the local VFW to get free stuff donated to send their son but didn't send him a thing. They were so immature about the whole deployment. Plus, they didn't send him any letters or care packages because (quoting here): "He hasn't sent us any letters or gifts from Iraq".

Seriously, both his parents and his sister said this to me on the phone. Excuse my language, BUT HE WAS IN A FUCKING WAR! He hardly had any sleep or time (they were severely short on soldiers) and you want to be immature and not write simply because he hasn't had time? I didn't get much from him either. But they sent him nothing -- nothing for Christmas, nothing for his birthday, nothing.

He didn't get along with his parents or his sister very well before that and they hate me (I was told by his sister never to show my face around there again simply because I had to be out of the country for my job at the time of her wedding). Now, he won't talk to them and when his sister called to say she had a baby boy, he told her that was nice and hung up.

Edit: spelling

You were doing such a wonderful thing only to have it ruined by greedy jerks.

I'm sure there are lots of children out there somewhere who will never forget your generosity!!!

I can honestly say the experience changed my attitude about many things.

working a gas pump in Kuwait...

They said he's in the National Guard refueling Army helicopters. I hate to be crass about this, but isn't this much easier duty than Iraq and Afghanistan? Kuwait isn't a combat zone.

and the daughter and granddaughter of veterans, it pisses me off, too.

That place didn't go to shit in just six months. And she is abusing the goodwill of others, totally.

Yuck. People like that give military families a bad name.