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BensMom Donating Member (670 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:04 PM
Original message
Headlines We'll Never See....
Edited on Thu Dec-30-04 08:38 PM by BensMom

Iraq Better Off Today — Increased Jobs, Freedom, Better living Conditions and Safety for all people.
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evil genius Donating Member (117 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:06 PM
Response to Original message
1. Terror Alert Level Green!
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EstimatedProphet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:07 PM
Response to Original message
2. Bush Raises Funding for Welfare Programs
Edited on Thu Dec-30-04 08:07 PM by EstimatedProphet
Raises Taxes on Companies that Outsource Jobs, Submits Plans for Complete Withdrawal from the Middle East
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evil genius Donating Member (117 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:07 PM
Response to Original message
3. Limbaugh Admits His Hypocrisy; Vows to Shut Up; Eyes Monasticism
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China_cat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:08 PM
Response to Original message
4. Well, I think we've already seen these;

Iraq Better Off Today — Increased Jobs, Freedom, Better living Conditions and Safety all people.

The question is more properly, will these headlines ever be true?
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TxGran Donating Member (60 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:09 PM
Response to Original message
5. Bush....
admits mistake.
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evil genius Donating Member (117 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:09 PM
Response to Original message
6. Rove Declares Bush Incompetant; Unable to govern.
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El Supremo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:10 PM
Response to Original message
7. House elects Kerry President
And Senate confirms Edwards VP.
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El Supremo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:12 PM
Response to Original message
8. Auto makers declare end to gasoline powered cars. n/t
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autorank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:12 PM
Response to Original message
9. Tom Brocaw utters an honest word.
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El Supremo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:14 PM
Response to Original message
10. Lay, Nacchio, Cheney and DeLay go to jail. n/t
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Solly Mack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:15 PM
Response to Original message
11. Bush Indicted
Rove Indicted
Rumsfeld Indicted
and so on and so forth...you get the point

America Recovers from Coup - finally (because nothing will ever be done about it, we can never recover)
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NAO Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:15 PM
Response to Original message
12. Board of Directors say, "profits be damned, we're not going to layoff"
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El Supremo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:16 PM
Response to Original message
13. US ends realtions with absolute monarchies and dictatorships. n/t
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Eagle_Eye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:16 PM
Response to Original message
14. President resigns in face of impending impeachment
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El Supremo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:17 PM
Response to Original message
15. US Airlines reregulated. n/t
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heidiho Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:17 PM
Response to Original message
16. Echocardiogram reveals Bush has a heart
who would have thought?

The bad news is that the EEG reveals "No Brain".
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baldguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:19 PM
Response to Original message
17. Bush issues an apology...
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El Supremo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:20 PM
Response to Original message
18. Latin America's economy robust - illegal immigration declines. n/t
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unblock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:31 PM
Response to Original message
19. bush solves 300 year old math conundrum, wins fields medal
actually, i think i DID see a headline like this once, in the onion, perhaps.
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unblock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:33 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. i can't get more than this because i'm not a subscriber
from http://www.onion.com

Bush Finds Error In Fermilab Calculations
BATAVIA, IL–President Bush met with members of the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory research team Monday to discuss a mathematical error he recently discovered in the famed laboratory's...
3726 | 1 August 2001 | News
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BensMom Donating Member (670 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:42 PM
Response to Original message
21. Congress approves high tax on SUVs
Funds generated earmarked to protected federal lands and endangered wilderness areas.
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HawkerHurricane Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-30-04 08:43 PM
Response to Original message
22. Bush Admit's he's Unqualified...
Resigns as President to become Baseball Commissioner
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