Tell me Cuz-sin

Army Seeks to Save War-Torn Marriages
Wed Dec 29, 6:04 PM ET
With studies showing divorce rates as high as 21 percent among couples where one spouse has been sent off to war, the Army is spending $2 million on a variety of marriage programs, including vouchers for romantic getaways to places like the Opryland Hotel in Nashville, Tenn.

(snip)

Now cuz-sin, I wants to know if’n I got this rite.
Ther’s this mary’ed, hetero couple, ya’see.
One tere the other, or both, is in the mill-I-terry,
National Guard, or Reserves.

One tere the other goes to War in I-rack.
They stays there,
Dueing there extended ture of duty.

When they gets back home,
This here War and service caused a stress
On there marriage.
Don’t ya know.

So, this here mill-I-terry off and gets
Discount tickets to Oppriland U. S. of A.
So, they sends this couple there to sing
Patriotic songs, dance a hodown two step,
Attend a home B-B-Q.
They may even have prayed over
This here married couple.

Now, the mill-I-terry don’t want no stressed marriages,
Don’t ya know,
Cause they might have ta go ‘n send these here same soldiers
Off to War again in I-ran, North Kerrea,
Or back to I-rack or Afgrannystand.

Now, cuz-sin,
Have I got it straight.
Is this here how Fox News would have says it?