Military Enlistment Oath (humor)

Military Oaths of Enlistment
The Following Are Various Appropriate Oaths Of Enlistment Each Branch Of Military Service Personnel Should Use ...

http://www.stevenshiles.com/mchumor_oath.html

USMC Rules for Gunfighting 1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one. 2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH. 3. Have a plan. 4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work. 5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. 6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4." 7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive. 8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.) 9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. 10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours. 11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose. 12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived. 13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating or reloading. 14. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty. 15. And above all .. don't drop your guard.

Navy SEALS Rules For Gunfighting 1. Look very cool in sunglasses. 2. Kill every living thing within view. 3. Return quickly to looking cool in latest beach wear. 4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules For Gunfighting 1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound ruck while starving. 2. Locate individuals requiring killing. 3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing. 4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted. 5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound ruck while starving.

Army Rules For Gunfighting 1. Select a new beret to wear 2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder 3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear

US Air Force Rules For Gunfighting 1. Have a cocktail 2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner 3. See what's on HBO 4. Determine "what is a gunfight" 5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" PowerPoint presentation 6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DoD & defense industry executives 7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets 8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally 9. Tell the Navy to send the Marines

US Navy Rules For Gunfighting 1. Go to Sea 2. Drink Coffee 3. Watch porn 4. Send the Marines

...nothing better than military humor...or is it? <VBG>