What did you do on 9/11/02?

I read bearfartinthewoods' post about being not emotionally ready for tomorrow, and that got me thinking about last year. It was different last year, mood-wise, than it is this year.

I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring, but I remember last year. I sent this to a friend of mine, and he posted it on his now-defunct blog. I think some of it still holds true (especially the end). So -- what's different now?

<begin letter>

Hey,

Today, I sit in my office and just keep my damn mouth shut. I know if I talk too much about non-work-related stuff, I'll say something I shouldn't and get in trouble.

I'm pissed that my government and my newspaper and my employer are all telling me I'm supposed to be grieving. I'm supposed to go to
church/synagogue or something today and pray for the "heroes of Sept. 11." Am I a bad person for just wanting to do my work, go home, cut my grass and maybe order a pizza?

I'm not cold, really, I'm not. I was as confused as anyone on 9/11. I didn't know anyone well who died, but at least one I knew peripherally. I called my parents and my grandparents and e-mailed my sister, cousin and friends in New York. I was glued to CNN for days. I put my change in the collection boxes at the supermarket. And I'm not going to begrudge anyone directly or indirectly affected their personal grief, or whatever they need to do to get by -- if that one survivor wants to sell interviews for $500 an hour, so be it. The media whores are the ones paying for it.

But the problem with marking an "anniversary" like this is that 9/11 never went away. We've had all of the people in charge telling us, every day, that we never should forget. But you can't grieve something
and memorialize it if it's in your face 24/7.

It's also this attitude of one-upsmanship -- "my grief is bigger and badder than your grief! And to prove it, we're having a pizza party! With red sauce, white cheese and -- um -- blue crust?" Brookfield Square Mall is having a 9/11 commemoration -- complete with band and balloons. My husband's work handed out red, white and blue ribbons and has encouraged everyone to wear red, white and blue (in fact, anyone wearing those colors can wear jeans today).Last night, on Fox, we were treated to PSAs detailing how the cast of "Grounded for Life" and "The Bernie Mac Show" wanted us to mourn. George W. Bush ups our state of alert to Orange and I bet his popularity surges again. Beating the war drums -- what a wonderful way to honor someone's memory.

And what are we going to do if or when something even worse happens? Do we discard 9/11 and have terrorism day on the new day? Or do we keep filling up the calendar with rememberances?

Are regimented mourning and enforced patriotism any more or any less appropriate than going about your day quitely, calling friends and relatives to make sure they're OK, making mac and cheese to match our current alert color (we did that last night)?

Salon.com has a good collection of inappropriate responses to 9/11. It's kind of nice--lets me know I'm not alone.

I know your perspective is different from mine. But that's the whole point. We hear from Dr. Phil and all of the other tele-shrinks that everyone handles this differently, and then we're told by others what we're supposed to do. What we're supposed to be feeling. It's cognative dissonance. It's giving me a headache.

So, today, I sit and I stare at my computer monitor and play games and shut the hell up. I'm no more proud to be an American than I was a year ago. I have the same appreciation for police, firemean and other emergency personnel I did on Sept. 10, 2001, but I'm still miffed at firefighters selling flags at State Fair Park for causing a huge gaper's block and at least one accident on I-94 this morning. I'm still not voting Republican. I wonder where all the 9/11 jokes are -- didn't we have Oklahoma City jokes while they were still searching for survivors?

And I sometimes wonder if I am doing it all wrong, if I'm supposed to sit down and shut up because "we're at war now." I feel bad for writing a rant that's all about me, not because of its innate self-centeredness (which I freely admit) but because perhaps some of the media propaganda has finally gotten to me.

And perhaps, more than any "Orange Alert" or "specific and credible evidence," that's what scares me the most.

Worked. went home. surfed net. went to bed.

Same ol day for me. Will be tomorrow too.

I moved here (boston) on the day of 9/11/01 from a small town in WNY. That is another story. Last year I was working as a courier running up and down in one of the taller buildings in Boston (One Financial Center), and a lot of people had taken the day of because of worries of security. Everyone was very quiet, subdued, and kind of somber the whole day, very pensive I think. It was such a defining moment in our lifetimes (i.e. everyone always says it, but it definitely is one of those before/after reference points like JFK's shooting) that every time it passes the recollection is still vivid. I don't know, don't like to wax poetic, but that's what I did last year.

the day before. This yr I'll be celebrating her 1st b-day. By the way her name is Katie and she's adorable

with this screen name, I had two others but long story short I cant explain it.

I went to Jacobs' Field in Cleveland for a baseball game.

At 9:11 pm, they stopped the game for a moment of silence, followed by a video mourning the victims.

As soon as the video was complete, we unfurled a huge banner over the left-field wall that read "BUSH KNEW".

It stayed up for about 30 seconds before we were led out of the stadium.

Back in '01 a bunch of us gathered for a cadelight vigil the night of the attacks. Last year, we continued the tradition with a No More Victims vigil and commemoration to mourn all those who had died on Sept. 11th and in the so-called "war on terror" since. We had speakers and peace singers and an open-mic speakout. It was really a great get together and drew around 500 people.

We will be doing it again this Thursday night. I'm looking forward to hearing the children's choir from the local Islamic center known as the "Buds of Peace."

...ah, the days of being but a mere 10%er, eh?

When you meet someone new, flip a coin, because chances are 50-50 that you can say you hate Bush and be greeted with nods of approval or a stare of scorn...

... and watched a few of the rather excellent news specials that day. ABC's "9-11" was especially good, and their interviews with WTC survivors was riveting, and extremely upsetting.

I'm not sure what I'll do tomorrow, as my feelings about the day have changed a bit. I have more anger than sadness now.

will do the same this year.

I am currently paid under the big ol' Bioterrorism Grants that were just announced last week by Tommy Thompson.... my coworker, a Republican, is only thinking of herself this 9/11.... saying that once Bush is out of office there will be no money for terrorism i.e. her job.... because terrorism will not be a big thing any more.... and I am like thinking well I would hate to look for another job but I can assimilate into our existing Health agency but to vote for Bush just because you want terrorism to be in the fore front of National Policy so that you can continue to be employed just boggles my mind.

read the names of all those who died in this tragedy on the library lawn of the university at which I teach.

I was supposed to sing in one of Seattle's "Rolling Requiem" performances. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was afraid I'd cry through the whole thing.

As someone else on the thread mentioned, my tears these days are born of fury. Those who lost loved ones still don't have any answers, and neither do the rest of the American people. I was crying this morning over Kristin Breitweiser's comments on "Salon" about * and Pickles. (How dare Laura Bush refuse a meeting with the widows of September 11th, then brag about going to Afghanistan?)

Tomorrow, our television will be off for the day. I can't stand to watch it all again. I'll be going about the routines of my life, quietly seething.

Julie

away a year ago today.
:-(

Delayed grief...

And I never stopped. I didn't stop for days. I barely remember driving my daughter home from school that day. I remember holding her close that evening, but I've forgoten massive chunks of that day and days following.

It's one of the reasons I want this pig out of the White House so badly. He's setting us up for more of the same.

Well that's different. My daughter played in a band at one of those community rememberance things. Other than that, normal day.

My girlfriend was feaked that I was flying on 9/11.

The theme should be "WHERE'S OSAMA"

Except anyone who is asked to wear RWB should wear black instead - or a DU flag T-shirt.

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

Went to work, taught all day. Enjoyed working with the youth of America. Probably the best thing any of us could have done/can do. I think it's the ultimate "eat my shorts" to both the terrorists and to those in power who think they can keep us in line by making us live in an atmosphere of fear and mourning 24/7.

This is also the reason why I've told my wife a number of times that I want as much Todd Rundgren and Frank Zappa as possible played at my funeral. Can't you just imagine going to a funeral and having "Bang The Drum All Day" being played as the casket is taken from the church? :)

Enacted the best defense against terrorism, I didn't buy into the hysteria. While it sickens me to think of the pain, and horror these people and their families lived through, I don't want my children to fear freedom. I will never forget it.

worked on the (then off-line) Political Report, and watched *'s speech at night.

I'm really not into anniversaries.

paranoid response about flying)

I couldn't get into the ceremony, but I wanted to be there.

Comments from a year ago here.

A little background sadness, but just did my thing as usual.

Hard to believe that it's been two years now...

and am doing it again tomorrow. I give blood now whenever I can.