I am so afraid to die

not for me, for my children. I think I planned everything wrong and I don't want them to pay after I leave. I am afraid for the mess in the world that I am leaving them. Everything is so messed up in this F world.

...the rest of us too?

it's not your fault. :)

or are you just freaked out that someone thinks about their own mortality?

and it's our job to leave a messed up one for our children.

You want to spoil them and not build their character by meeting challenges ?

Thought about life insurance... ;)

You are ahead of the 90% that have not come to the realization of what the hell is going on in the USA.

Here, imagine that I just made a BIG batch of banana pancakes and some yummy hazelnut coffee and we're about to watch your favorite movie on DVD and then eat a roll of cookie dough and paint each other's toenails purple.

:hug:

But can I have some pancakes? I brought along a cheese tray for later in the movie too.

Let's dig in, momma!

You are one gentle soul out of a zillion people. You do the best that you know how to do. Don't blame yourself, it's too hard a burden to even think about love.

Are you okay? In mortal danger? Terminally ill?

And of course you hate to leave your children this f*cked up world. Any parent worth their salt worries about this! But please don't take the whole burden on yourself. You are not the first parent anticipating dying before your children and leaving an imperfect world, nor will you be the last. Parent have probably felt this way since people started thinking.

"All the mammoths have migrated to another valley! My children will die without mammoth meat! Why did I bring them into this f*cked up world?!"

OK, I'm making a joke, but seriously... you are not to blame for the f*cked-up-ed-ness of the world. Please don't be so hard on yourself. :hug:

And I seriously hope you're health is ok, too. :hug:

just down, this world is one fucking mess and I am really tired of the mess. I'm okay, not planning anything. Geez, it is almost everyday I read the pukes want to screw the people and I worry about my kids.

but, what do "they" say?
..."good things take time, great things happen all at once."

I worry (probably obsessively) for my kids, too.
I can't stop having faith that something great can happen, or at minimum, good things will happen in time!

is what every single one of us has felt and experiences these days too. You are just not afraid to say it.

Your expression is probably the healthiest response to what is happening in this very imbalanced, nonsensical world.

Excuse me for speaking for you but I would imagine you are pissed, scared, confused, lonely, protective over your kids, angry, and feeling powerless at times just like all of us.

Of course you are okay. You are just saying what every single one of us feel at times.

Thanks friend for posting.

you're not considering suicide. :thumbsup:

I agree with the poster above me: you're having a healthy response to the world around you. You'd be nuts if you didn't worry about this. I have my son from an accidental pregnancy 23 years ago. He's an awesome guy, but the exact worry you're describing is exactly why I decided to never produce more children from my body. I figured, if I ever had the money to raise another child (and I never have had), I would adopt, so at least I could make a better world for that kid in the present moment.

That's how I parented, as well. I brought my son to protests up and down the eastern seaboard, let him democracy in action, & see that many people do care and fight to make the world a better place. No one has to do it alone--we all work together to get the work done.

And it's gonna take a long time to make a better world--just look at how long it's taken to get this fucked up!

So until things improve--and they will for us lefties, the pendulum will swing our way again--keep the faith, Sister, and keep up the good fight. Peace!

how i see it, whatever comes my children will see it in truth, they will always have the opportunity to see/find the higher in all things. they are being taught the confidence in their ability to do. the more children that know this and grow up with this, whatever life brings, they will deal with, find the higher in all things

simple: life. hard work, not fair; life..........what you or our kids do with it. how capable they are, how able they will be

in which they could have possibly lived. As for me, I'd take this world over not living at all, and I'm sure your kids would too.

Kids are marvels at adapting. Todays kids don't grow up expecting the Beaver Cleaver world we grew up expecting. They'll be fine.

And be grateful they weren't born to live in Banda Aceh or Sub-saharan Africa. Count your damn blessings.

Don't be too sure about being able to adapt unless people can learn how not to eat. :eyes:

All things are relative. Those who currently love in 'poverty' conditions, like the places you mentioned, are accustomed to where they are. We in the US are not.

Assuming this oil craze doesn't end us all up victims of thermonuclear annhilation, of course.

Nixon opened the doors to China.

Reagan only made things worse. Until Bush II, he was the most scandalous president of them all. (see the link in my sig line for more.)

to make it a better place thats all, Or don't

sulk, fret, go throught the stages, and then when you feel a bit refreshed get up and try again. go do your best; it's the most anyone, especially you, can ask from yourself.

you are only human, tragically, so perfection will always be a far cry from everything you'll do. that said, if you can, and want (which is a huge step), to do better, try. :D

and for god's sake take a moment to laugh. without humor this world would be a crushing nightmare.

ps: unless i misread this post, that's my take. if it's some sort of self-flagellating post calling for more abuse though... um, you're dirty, rotten, evil, and no-good. feel better now?
:silly:

just read the news!

tolerance, understanding, and the REAL difference between right and wrong. This information will make them strong and they will be your legacy to the world.

No matter what , kids are survivors. Whatever is meant to be will be. You must take care of yourself and the rest will fall in place.One thing at a time. The world will also take care of itself, one day at a time. Peace.

I am not planning to get rid of myself, but I just fear for my adult children. There is just so much in the news, I just don't know what I am leaving them. This administration does not leave much hope and I doubt if they care.

Thank you for your concern, believe me I am not going to do anything, just worried about the future of our children.

if your adult children are like mine...they dont want to hear about how the future might not be like the past for them and their children, but u can find some land somewhere..someplace with a well for water..and some land for growing food..and then u can work on it to get it ready for the time when your children will need just such a place to live...its a goal...think about it.

there is nothing that makes me feel more helpless and hopeless than worrying about things that are too big for me to have any effect. One of my dearest friends tell me at times like this to dig where I am. Do the best I can to encourage just one person, show kindness to someone, strengthen myself so I can have a positive effect in the surroundings I'm in.

Knowing I can positively affect those around me gives me hope, helps me get up again when I'm feeling like you are, and reminds me that everything we do ripples out, so it's worth it even if it's just something that seems small to me.

Be the best parent and role model you can be, and don't blame yourself for the state of the world! :hug: I know, it seems so overwhelming at times. :(

...than you are giving them credit for, simply because you want better for them than what they're going to get. But, it is probably going to be their generation that deals out the payback. Let them know you love them, which they probably already know, and just keep an eye out for any opportunity you get to make things better now.

not for me personally, there is just no caring anymore. If you are not a have more, no one cares. This just bothers me.

You know, that is something that effects and hurts me to see as well. However, there are actually so many that care. We just have to look a little harder these days.

Alot of us are here at DU care tremendously and are doing things nationwide to improve things. That's why so many of us are here at DU I think.

I thank you for verbalizing these things. Seems to me its important for me to remember how important caring and loving each other is in the world. I think it's what its all about really,, which is each other and all living things. We can't take our cars, boats, Rolex watches, Prada bags with us when we die. They will mean nothing when we're gone from here.

Before my mother died, she was getting a blood transfusion and we were sitting in the hospital room, and my mother asked me what kind of mother had she been to me. My mother was not a very reflective person, but she knew she was dying and that what was very important to her. I had also lost a gold bracelet she had given me, which ordinarily would have made her furious, she apparently had noticed I didnt have it on. Yet my mom was literally almost upbeat about the situation, and went out of her way that day to remind me it was only a bracelet.

I think what will matter to us is how we lived our life, what we did on this earth and how we impacted others and all creatures around us. How are we helping the elderly, sick and the young ones around us? How are we comforting others, making others laugh, feel good and valued? I believe those things are what we will be reflecting on when we are dying. Atleast that is what I always here from people that are dying. They seem to want to know that they've made a difference. We all do. That is where the true value in living is. I think we've gotten side tracked and we need to find our way back.

These are good questions we could probably all benefit from asking before it gets too late in the game.

Today your post reminded me whats important. Thanks.

So true - your words resonate. Thank you!

Thank you.

Their kids despise them. Oh, they may leave them money, but what did they receive from their parents emotionally. Nothing.
Want to have a pick-me-up? Watch Wife Swap which is on regular tv.
It is almost always a liberal and rw'er changing wives.
You will notice how the liberal families nurture their children teaching them to be individuals who can think for themselves.
The rw family usually end up learning how important their children are and modify their lifestyle.
We ALL want to do the most we can for our children.
I know that you have taught them values that will last them forever.
Money can't buy that kind of love.

It's on my schedule. It's on my neighbor's schedule. It's on Brad Pitt's schedule.

I'm sorry. Just dark humor. It's the most readily available kind, I've found.

but depression is an old buddy of mine. I was thinking the other day, about the stages of grief, and where we might collectively reside on the scale...since the apparent death of democracy. The future is way too frightening to comprehend, which may actually be a good thing...force me to live in the day and appreciate the scenery. One of my favorite pick-me-ups is 'there is no right or wrong, there just is'. Wishing you a little peace.

it will be over in a blink of an eye.
So, appreciate what you have while you have it.
Don't waste your life with negative thoughts and worry.
Glorify the good in your life and bask in it.
Smell the roses, hugs your kids.. make them their special treat.
Go somewhere fun with them. Give them some memories they can cherish
in THEIR hard times.
Don't waste time.
Get on with it.

is a memory for them that you lived your beliefs with all of your heart mind body and soul.

and if that gives them an inspiration to face the unknown with some iota of courage and conviction, that will be more than you can imagine towards their happiness.

peace friend,
dp

but I have no control what is happening in our country. There is only so much I can do. Shrub and his gang are suppose to be te models, they sure fall short.

any example of humankind's achievement but for how low the watermark is set for our baser instincts.

Simply put, if either of the 2 of those megalomaniacs represent a position, i am most likely diametrically opposed.

i'm satisfied that i can live and die happier from there, even if alone.

peace friend.
dp

I don't know if this exactly fit the topic of this thread, but I have been thinking about poetry lately, so I decided to post this here. This was a poem I wrote about two years ago; about life and the passage of time.

I look into a dream
of a life that did exist,
Reach for it from far away
A memory of mist.
Lessons learned in shadow, of people known from outside
Remembered as they were not
As unknown as me.

The scene that shifts, then fades away,
All the plans once drawn.
The life I thought would happen--
Gone, gone, gone.

Once I turned to face the scene,
Playing on the lawn,
But time moved on and I looked up,
Gone, gone, gone.

Why do I still dwell here,
this vast parade gone by
Where is it remembered?
Why?

Why does the sense remain
when the thing itself was gone
Why be tortured forever
By playing on the lawn?