Terri's Parents won't heal until they accept Terri is gone.

Many people have argued that since Terri cant feel anything then what is wrong with letting her parents have the comfort of thinking she is alive? They say if they were in Terri's shoes they would want their family to decide their fate based on their wishes. Well, the only problem with this is you are not helping Terri's parents, you are hurting them. Psychologists who have studied grief know how extremely important closure is to the healing process. It seems Terri's parents are hanging on to the illusion that Terri is still with them but in fact she is little more than a shell. I cant imagine how horrible it would be to not be able to let go of the fact that she is already gone. Once they come to terms with the fact that she is gone then and only then will they begin to heal and find peace.

Think of the stages of death and dying. People go through all kinds of emotions but only once they come to terms with reality do they find peace of mind. Terri's parents might think they are more happy with Terri's shell being kept alive but in truth they will be much happier once they realize she is gone and begin to heal.

I have lost my brother, my Mom and two nephews so I understand all to well how grief works and when grief is not allowed to take place then healing can't begin. In the end Terri's parents will only find peace after Terri's shell is taken off life support.

But none of us know how they feel, and I think it's a bit presumptuous to assume we can. It seems to me the only part of this saga that is a matter for public debate is the role of the state. The courts have finally decided that Terry Schiavo's wishes she expressed before she entered a coma will be fulfilled. The legislature and governor will not be able to decide Ms. Schiavo's fate. I believe that questions about the personal implications of it are for her family alone.

The debate her is what science has discovered about grief and how it works and it is widely known that ONLY through closure can healing begin. That being said I agree that this is not a place for the state to get involved but to ignore scientific research on grief is just plain ignorant. It's not uncommon for people to do the opposite of what is best for them and think they are doing right.

People experience grief differently. We are not all identical. Some people grieve in keeping with formulas set up in self-help books. Others get over trauma quite quickly, and some never recover.
Apparently you think you know how others feel and are entitled to tell them how they should feel. I do not.

The horror of this saga is that a family's difficult, private choices about life and death became a political football. Jeb Bush and the Florida legislature used Terry Schiavo for their own political purposes. My view is that the state does not have an appropriate role in such matters, other than for the courts to adjudicate disputes between family members over how to interpret the desires of their loved ones. Matters of that particular family's grief are
no more our business than Jeb Bush's.

What I said is we know what their feelings on keeping Terri's shell alive are. I don't claim to know the abstract feelings they are going through with this but I do know what people who have studied grief say about this and I know from my own experience by handling it wrong the first time and right the second time. Of course people experience grief differently but the issue here is how they should deal with it so they can heal as much as possible. That seems to be going over your head.

People can deal with Grief in many ways but their are good ways and bad ways. Those people who never recover you mentioned most likely didn't deal with it the best way. Their is no arguing that accepting death as a reality is the first step to good healthy grief.

They're irrational now, clinging to random facial expressions and involuntary movements as proof that their daughter is alive and a lot more functional than she really is. I sincerely doubt when her life is finally allowed to end completely that they'll do anything but transfer this into an equally irrational hatred of Mr. Schiavo. After all, thanks to the continued attention of the right to life fanatics, they're just about there, already.

I haven't lost as many people as you have, but I've had to make the choice whether to keep a parent alive with extraordinary measures or not. I chose not, and I still think it was the right choice. You want them to live forever, but not like that.

I'm sure the Schindlers will go on to stellar careers on the fundy talk show circuit. I don't think they'll manage a healthy grieving process.

They will use this for hate rather than love, forgiveness and healing. A lot of people take that route but then never find peace of mind. Never the less the only way then for them to heal is for them to get some major counseling so they can learn to forgive Mr. Schiavo and see that he was only doing what was best for Terri.

These people love their daughter. Her husband also loved her. That you deny that they feel that love, insist on belittling their emotions because their actions don't fit your political or personal views, is shocking to me. Not only that, you somehow claim foresight of the future. A little sensitivity is in order here. Terry Schiavo's family has committed no crime. They disagreed with Terry's husband over what appropriate action should be. They did so, not out of hate but out of love. The political problem was brought about by Jeb Bush and the Florida legislature. Directing you political opposition against grieving parents is callous.

I never should have worded it that way. What I meant is that a lot of people end up dealing with their grief in an unhealthy way. I was just repeating his sentence but I didn't mean to suggest I knew they would take that route.

the religious nuts that are egging them on will not stop their crusade after Terri dies. They will declare her death a murder and drag the parents through more years of hell.

The parents need to declare independence from the vultures who are using them. Then they can remember that "for every thing there is a season" if you will, and remember that their love for her is so great, they can to let her go.

their grief will be exploited for political purposes, and by people who don't really give a shit about them.

It's impossible for them to know peace.

I know they are going through a difficult period but that is being selfish. They should follow her wishes.