WHERE did this idea come from that liberals don't set limits w/their kids?

I was reading another thread here in GD about conservative viewpoints and several DUers said that one of their more conservative viewpoints is that parents should set limits for their kids and enforce them, etc.

Well BLOW me down! I had NO idea that was a conservative viewpoint!

Actually I think it's NOT. And I find it insulting for anyone to say it is.

That's like saying because I'm a liberal, I must not set or enforce limits with my child, and nothing could be further from the truth.

Many of the liberal parents I know are quite good parents. They raise their kids to be critical thinkers, to be truly compassionate, to learn as much as they can about the world around them. And they certainly set and enforce limits.

Whereas the conservative parents I know do things like ground their kids for saying the word "gay" (no, I'm not kidding), let them stay up until the wee hours on school nights watching cable TV in their bedrooms, buy them any old crap they point at, etc.

Mostly I think your parenting style is FAIRLY independent of your political leaning, BUT if I had to choose a group that consistently lines up in the middle of the parenting spectrum (authoritative), I'd say they are the liberal and moderate parents I know. The conservative parents I know tend to fall on either end of the parenting spectrum (permissive or authoritarian). And neither of those ends are good.

In a nutshell: there are good and bad parents in ALL political camps. To say setting and enforcing limits with your children is a conservative thing is just.....well....illogical.

Unlike James Dobson, I don't employ physical discipline.

Ask my poor princess, however, and she will tell you that there are plenty of limits set.

Violation of the Rules could result in the removal of The Electronics (television, DVD-player, GameBoy, Personal Computer, etc.).

are a "conservative" value. It's a simple law of good parenting.

They haven't cornered the market on good parenting, but I always thought how I parented was more of a conservative leaning. Yes, critical thinking, yes to compassion and to educate themselves.

We do have strict rules for our kids to follow by a lot of other people's standards.

One poster said a lot of parents do it by 'command and control'. I don't agree with that because it sounds like my house is a boot camp.

I guess it's all in the eye of the beholder since people parent their children so differently.

. . . just like Newt Gingrich.

Just like "RWingers don't do drugs." Rush, case in point.

Whatever they can use to smear us or make us out to be incompetent or "immoral" they will. LIARS!

They always have the Liberals being irresponsible parents who set almost no boundaries for their children and the Conservatives are almost always responsible and have a structured environment for their children. I think it's ridiculous for people to accept this as the norm.

The Conservative parents are anal retentive control freaks whose kids hate them. Remember the ones who said they couldn't wait until their kids moved out? :crazy: Seems to me the conservatives are usually the ones that make the most changes and the liberal ones learn how much they appreciate their family.

Parenting is certainly exclusive of political alignment.

I can also agree that I see families with two working parents 'compensating' the children for parental absence. Even 'Dr.' Laura would agree that that is not appropriate.

I have used spanking as a physical punishment on rare occasions and am happy to report that my children are exceptionally well-behaved.

They know that misbehaving in public will earn immediate discipline regardless of publicity, and behaving always seems to make them popular and favored by adults... they like that part.

than Canada, UK, and most of Western Europe (the dirty 'socialist' countries). Think about it...

Are the generally the wildest in my observations. What's that say for the theory?

Actually from what I have noticed it's the kids of the conservatives that end up being the biggest problems when they hit their teens. They rebel against the unwarranted rules, they become very sneaky about what they do.

still do one thing very wrong: they raise kids who vote for republicans.

LOL!

No, seriously, I know one couple who did do a pretty good job of raising their kids and they are bush voters. BUT that's only if we are talking about their general behavior. Get to know their kids a bit better (they are now late teens to early 20s) and you will find they are also bigoted, homophobic, closed-minded and intellectually incurious.

:shrug:

So even when their BEHAVIOR is fine, there are always underlying attitudes that are problematic.

I grew up in a strict religious environment and after I moved out, experienced life and got an education my thinking changed a lot. I'm still an alien to my RW family.

Too bad it doesn't happen more.

Self destructive behaviors and a rebellion against anything associated with the opppressive parent.

There is a link between extreme religiousity and child abuse. Furthermore, people with a conservative/authoritarian worldview, are more likely to use outdated "authoritarian" parenting techniques. They are also more likley to be Repuke.

I think there is a connection. One's worldview influences both parenting and political affliation.

and that is where the problem lies. Growing up is a learning experience and kids make mistakes along the way. Nothing wrong with that as long as they learn from what they did. Most of the cons just punish the kids, either physically or verbally (put them down) and this reflects on how they ultimately behave. It's more like just don't want to get caught again rather than not repeat the act because they never learned that why what they did was wrong. Not all parents of course but the ones that carry it too far.

Rather than creating free thinkers who are ethical beings, they produce selfish, irrational drones by promoting blind compliance to authority (ie the Bible, the flag, the myths about what is "patriotic allegiance," etc). Sickening.

It is just more framing and placing labels on liberals.

A wonderful example that screams in my mind is the * twins (I am being polite), v Sen.Kerry's daughters. Sen.Kerry's daughters were well raised and have become wonderful young women. And then there are the * twins. Do I really need to say more---although I could say much that is distasteful, but true.

does not mean 'permissive'. My mother is a liberal, and my father is a left-leaning moderate. And you never saw stricter or more conscientious parents in your life. They set strict limits for me, my brother and my sister.

If we went out to eat, we couldn't have soda unless we'd had milk to drink that day. They never hesitated to spank one of us if we had transgressed a known boundary. My dad was positively Jeffersonian about it. He'd take me aside, remind me what I'd done wrong, remind me that the infraction carried a spanking, tell me how many times he was going to spank me, spank me exactly that number of times and no more, and then hug me and tell me how much he loved me. Poor grades were corrected with TV restriction. Poor behavior toward adults or playmates was punished with grounding or the taking away of something we cherished. If I wanted to know something, my parents would say "Go look it up." We had a fine set of encyclopedias perfect for the task. I'm grateful to them to this day for sparking my curiosity and my desire to read. All three of us kids had chores to do around the house. There were rarely instances of "I don't feel like it". We did our chores or lost privileges. That simple.

Permissive liberals. Yeah, right. :eyes:

I see the kids of conservative parents (not all of them; this is not an anecdotal, blanket statement) going around bullying others, using profanity, displaying atrocious manners, being self-centered assholes, and wondering what the hell the parents are thinking.

Upstanding moral conservatives. Yeah, right. :eyes:

is the biggest bully. This kid uses racial slurs, instigates fights, is rude, obnoxious and uncivilized. It got to the point where I finally gave my son permission to hit him back to put the kid in his place. It worked. The kid NEVER struck, kicked, or threw something at my kid again. The kids in the neighborhood will not play with him anymore, he is such a selfish bully.

It's not due to uneducated parents either, his dad has a Master's in Engineering and they have access to the internet, books, etc to learn decent parenting skills. She is a stay a at home mom with ONE kid.

This woman has a tacky plastic yard sign up that reads, "Support our troops." Well, I wonder if she is going to sign little Timmy up for the war. The kid is 14 now. I'll have to ask her next time I see her out dumping pesticides on her lawn.

Another piece of hypocracy...the big drunk has twin drunks. Like daddy ever set limits for them. Humbug.

as the leading authority on raising kids and we were headed for disaster.

Who read Dr. Spock during that era? Liberals and elitists? Certainly not bible belt folk.

He helped perpetuate the myth.

I think that's where some got the idea that baby boomers don't set limits. Do people also assume that many baby boomers are liberal elitists?

It seems to know no bounds, near as I can tell. Many parents, left and right, let their kids do things in public places that I would never have DARED to do. It's amazing to me sometimes.

its not about what their children actually do. In my area, SC (yeah trust me I know) fundie parents have it down in stark black and white terms. Doesn't mean the kids are actually doing what their parents ask of them but as long as it appears to others that is what they are doing, then all is fine in the world.

I have teenaged children. I don't play that shit well. I couldn't give a flip most of the time on how it appears to outsiders, I want to raise and join into society a young adult who is a good human.
It's much harder.

honesty, quick to forgive, slow to accuse, cooperate (we're all in this together approach).

Lots of laughter -- raised them on seinfeld and comedy chnnel and tons of music. choose your battles carefully, don't sweat small stuff and do really good in school so that when you pull an occasional prank, you can get away with it AND all your freinds will think you're the shit. Be informed so you can challenge your teachers, actually be smarter than your teachers so you get the right kind of respect. Lots of praise. In fact the best thing you can ever say to your child is this, and you have to look them in the eye and mean it: "I'm so happy that you're my kid, I'm so happy to know you" it has to come from the heart -- kids know when you're bullshitting.

that's my liberal way and my kids? They're the coolest and most intersting people I know. Totally proud, not one complaint. Not one. They set their own limits because they're not trying to be disobedient in the first place. Why? Because when you place trust in your child from very early on, they become trustworthy. When you treat them with constant suspicion and constantly dictate, they figure they must be missing out on something and push the envelope. That's what I know.

I agree!

:thumbsup:

deliver any public goods through the market... they don't want to. If your son finds a porn vidio at the corner store the age of 6... you were lazy - it is all your fault.

One of those little "memes" that got passed around in the KAOS Manual for the New American Century. When anyone mentions goods being delivered by markets on behalf of the public instead of corporations... nail them on their laxidaisical child rearing skills.

Markets were invent as a human tool 10,000 years ago. Corporations were invented as a human tool 500 years ago. You as a human are no longer allowed to use the efficient markets.. WHAT ARE YOU LAZY & A BAD PARENT?

that Conservatives don't set enough limits or properly discipline their children.

Not just the Bush twins, either.

Look at how * and his siblings turned out...

who let their kids run wild so they could be "natural." It doesn't take many liberal couples parenting in that laissez faire manner to create a bad reputation that extends to all liberal parents.

But I get more laughs out of the conservative parents who congratulate themselves on setting firm limits and "knowing everything" their kids do. Riiiiiiiggggghhhhhhttt. They tend to also say "My child would never do X," which just about guarantees that your kid will do X.

Most of them have no limits. They have the run of the store, or they're screaming their heads off because they can't have something.

I worked as a portrait photographer years ago that contracted with Wal-Mart. I watched as two kids ran through and knocked over a camera that cost several thousand dollars. The mother said "Oh they're just having fun." I was blown away.

I've also seen kids knock over clothing racks and the mother just looks at them.

Once a woman shopping in the store I was working in had a seizure and had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital. Her five year old kid spent hours wandering the store looking for her because the mom had let this little kid go off and do whatever the hell she wanted to do. She had no idea where the kid was, no one in the store even realized she had a kid, and the kid ended up terrified. It's a wonder she wasn't abducted. No one would have ever known.

How's that for responsible parenting?

Where have you been? We're too meek to lead America because we wouldn't go to war every chance we get. That's why the new appreciation for war and conquest (the empire project) amoung some dems. It's all about image. And our image created mostly by detractors, is we wouldn't set limits for our children since we don't limits with the world and crime supposedly.