CNN declared brain dead

Two prominent neurologists who have asked to remain anonymous have examined CNN behind closed doors and determined that the network is irreversibly brain-dead, as flooded with cerebral fluid as the hull of the S.S. Poseidon. It still retains some primitive reflexes and signs of animation, but a brain-scan revealed the sort of minimal activity usually associated with punch-drunk prizefighters condemned to a flophouse cot, or a broken toaster. "CNN barely has two brain cells left to rub together," one doctor said, lacing up his tennis shoes for a quick getaway.

Well, I can't say I was surprised by this grim diagnosis. The sadistic glee expressed by CNN boss Jon Klein over anchor-lunk Rick Sanchez's Fear Factor "shock-belt" exhibition is evidence of a news operation in advanced mental decay, and the network's performance in the Terry Schiavo masque of the red state death only brings additional confirmation.

Today I happened to hear Bob Franken "reporting" on the scene of the solemn procession in front of the hospice where demonstrators were attempting to bring Schiavo a cup of water, intending to be arrested. Franken, as hush-voiced as a golf commentator on the 18th hole awaiting a crucial putt, described one of the scenes of demonstrators stepping forward and being led away by sun-glassed police as "poignant."

The scene? A father being arrested with three of his children. Another child, age three, was spared, left to the custody of her mother. The father and three children--all three under the age of sixteen--were gently handcuffed and taken away in squad cars.

There was nothing "poignant" about this moment of togetherness. It was idiotic and irresponsible. If Dad wants to get arrested and spend the night behind bars with Otis the Town Drunk, fine, but don't drag the kids into it, particularly children that young. Let them stay home with gran'ma as Dad and Mom enjoy a second honeymoon in handcuffs. Franken's sentimentalizing of this pious photo-op is more proof that the so-called MSM is so cautious about being respectful of religion that it refuses to recognize the raw face of fanaticism even when it's filling the camera lens. Practically nothing is said about the backgrounds of the nutjob organizers of these sickly pseudo-events, leaving the impression that is simply People of Conscience converging on Florida to bear witness and catch some rays.

http://www.jameswolcott.com/

:D

In fact, please open the top of their head and remove the last two faulty braincells they have.

Then drive a stake into its heart and pin it to the floor. The bandwidth would be far better used by transmitting a test pattern.

from the father's custody for "endangerment" if it was anyone else getting arrested with their children. Am I not correct? Can you see what they'd do if us lefty-loonies were getting arrested with our children present? But laws simply don't apply to these people.

"The Bush's love me, this I know
For the White House tells me so."

among others. He had handicapped people on today saying they were afraid their rights were going to be taken away and could be killed by people who just don't think their quality of life is good enough.

Jon Klein...the man now at the helm of CNNServative...

http://whatshappeningatcnn.blogspot.com/

In an effort to narrow the gap with Fox at night, Mr. Klein has ruled out one obvious option: he will not, he says, turn CNN's prime-time lineup into a liberal counterpunch to Fox's opinion-driven programming, which draws a heavily conservative audience. "It's much better to be right down the middle," Mr. Klein said in an interview. "Moderates are our sweet spot."



Breaking News...news brain scan indicates liquification of CNNServative continues at a rapid pace.

a third, fourth 20th & 50th. Also have a judge on standby to determine whether this report is acurate.

But are they able to swallow any more of the stuff?

An expert who once told people he was nominated for the Nobel Prize in Literature has examined 10-year-old tapes of CNN and has determined that they are totally not brain dead. "CNN circa 1995 still functioned very effectively as a news organization, and I think that can be extropolated to today," the expert said.

the eeg's to prove your statement.

That's my work for the day. I'm not going to give you ammunition to prove me wrong!

/freep


PS, yes, a Freeper troll here on this board actually said something similar to that to me the other day while discussing the Schiavo matter.

Unfortunately, I have the screen shot of that at work... and not at home.

I was wondering if there were any other choices? Maybe a 3rd is persistent vegetative state? Or, maybe he has risen as one of the undead?