Calling all recruiters!

Get thee to Northwood Temple Academy, Fayetteville, NC, and sign up one Kelvin Martinez.

On Wednesdays this right-wing rag of a paper we have in The Land God Forgot (I needed something to read; my choices were a Fayetteville paper or an Army VD manual, and I already read the manual) does a Q&A with students at various schools around the area. This week they went to Northwood Temple Academy and asked kids what their opinion of the war is.

Most of them wanted the troops home--understandable since many kids in this area are military brats. Along comes Kelvin Martinez to say:

"From the very beginning, I support what Bush has done. When you have power, you have the responsibility to help people."

And I thoroughly agree with the last sentence. You do have the responsibility to help people. And Bush is just so helpful:

* he helped 173 Texas prisoners to escape their shackles by spending 15 minutes reviewing their cases and ignoring glaring signs of ignorance

* he helped send 3000 New Yorkers and Pentagon employees to Paradise, Valhalla, Heaven or wherever their faith sends you after you slip the bonds of your mortal coil by ignoring the 8/6/2001 Presidential Daily Briefing that was titled "Look, dumb-ass, Bin Laden's about ready to blow the shit out of this country so give the neighbor kid a hundred bucks to clear your brush, get your ass back to Washington, and at least pretend to be the leader of this country for once."

* he helped 1700 American soldiers' families--1500 from Iraq, 200 from Afghanistan--learn a whole new language: survivor assistance officer, survivor benefit plan, Servicemembers Group Life Insurance benefit, death gratuity...

* he helped save 100,000 or so Iraqis and a hell of a lot of Afghanis from a life of searing heat, meager rations and everchanging governance

If Kelvin thinks Bush is helpful, I think Kelvin should sign up, right now, even though he's only 15, and help. Go ahead and lie about your age, Kelvin--many Medal of Honor recipients did just that.