I just saw "Six Degrees of Separation"

Somehow, I missed it when it came out, but I watched it tonight.

At first I thought I wouldn't like it, what with it being a bit hard to believe that these Manhattan sophisticates would swallow this whole desperate, nervous, awkward name-dropping routine by Will Smith, but the story was, in the end, compelling, especially the moment when Stockard Channing laments the fact that they have been taking real, human experiences shared with another person and turning them into nothing more than anecdotes over cocktails.


It brought into focus something that has been slowly dawning on me over the last few months - I'm squandering my life, too much of it anyway, on hand-wringing over injustice and politics.

I'm fortunate enough to have a few great friends and some aquaintances here in the bay area - wine country, actually, who are quite fascinating people. Vintners, in addition to being retired doctors and teachers. They had me over for Thanksgiving, where I got to meet all kinds of nice people, and yet after a few drinks of their wine, I blathered on about how awful Bush and the war are. In fact, at one point I got so overbearing that the hostess politely suggested that I "go outside to help Bob with the BBQ".

This is the Bay Area, for chrissakes. I was preaching to the choir! I had an opportunity to share positive experiences and ideas with people and I squandered it with gloomy talk of politics! I really had become something of a "Debbie Downer" Even one of my best friends, going all the way back to high school, doesn't want to talk to me as much. None of these people are right-wingers. They just haven't let themselves fall head over heels into this obsession with what is going on with our country.


Don't get me wrong. I'm glad I was awakened after 9-11 and the Iraq invasion. I will never look at this country in quite the same way again. But dammit, I need some balance. I want to bring positive, enriching things to a conversation, to make people have a good time. I want to do things with my life that inspire others, not just make them ponder.

Starting up a new exercise routine after being very lax for years was a good start. Setting limits on the amount of time I spend posting here would be another. Actually making time to check off more of the goals on my whiteboard is yet another. I think I will be a much more valuable asset to the progressive movement if I'm a well-balanced, happy, fit person, with more money, time and wisdom to contribute, rather than just some fat slob at a keyboard.

The next time I get together with my friends up in the wine country, I'm going to make a point of looking past the wealth and good taste that intimidated me the last time, and really listen to what they say. And I intend to make a point of contributing something positive to the evening myself. Hell, I've been around. I've lived overseas, I've done all kinds of things. But I've spent the last 3 years ranting about Bushco here.

I love DU. I'll be around, but there is so much more to life than this. I need more than an echo chamber. America is a wreck, but dammit, that doesn't mean we don't deserve to live good, fulfilling lives, and I don't know about you, but I'm going to redouble my efforts to do so.

Almost to the point of too close for comfort!

Thanks for what you said. I totally relate.

-Matt

you have expressed what I have been thinking lately,....


we really do create our own reality.........check out the movie "what the bleep do we know"

it will speak to you in a most amazing way...............

I feel where you're coming from but to a certain extent I NEED to keep myself angry. It was group apathy (not suggesting that's what you're talking about) that got this country where it is. Group apathy and a whole lot of evil opportunistic bastards jumping on it and exploiting it to it's fullest. Live well and laugh often with loved ones and turn those depressing converstations into positive action oriented discussion. No offense to the fine people here but short vacations from this board would probably help. I know I need one.

Same here. I'm married to a wonderful man, we have a wonderful daughter. I have work that's very interesting if not that well-paid, but I go around with a black cloud of doom over my head over how the country's going down the drain, to the point that life has almost lost its savor. It's nuts. I justify obsessing about politics because I write about local politics, but that's just a rationalization.

very well put.

Since the O.P. states the case for the "agreement" side, I'll speak to the "disagreement".

Yes, it's possible(!) that we spend too much time, not only HERE but in JUST "hand wringing." But we are also spending much of that time learning, researching, and sharing intel.

Yes, there are concrete things we could be doing IN ADDITION, and some of us need to get after ourselves to go do them. The vast majority of those who DON'T spend time here or keep up with issues are STRUGGLING to survive day to day and canNOT spare time or energy in the "luxury" of political awareness or engagement.

But much in the O.P. references an insulated, isolated social circle, where life is enchanted and ugly realities are banned to the patio.

There is a short story by Romain ROLLAND about the run-up to full blown Nazi-ism: This ivory tower type dude locks himself up in his (apartment?) with his beautiful books, art, and music---shut tight against the coming ugliness. Was he civilization's last stand? Or brutality's collaborator?

I say, leave the vintners and retired doctors alone to their lovely lives and stay ENGAGED in part, and cultivate YOUR OWN goals the other part.

*******QUOTE*******

http://www.kirjasto.sci.fi/rolland.htm

French novelist, dramatist, essayist, mystic, pacifist, who was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1915. Romain Rolland saw that art must be a part of the struggle to bring enlightenment to people. In his work he attacked all forms of nazism and fascism, and struggled for social and political justice. ....

********UNQUOTE*******

So I will be seeing him no matter what. And I know fully what you mean, but if I were to go into that group ranting and raving, suggest they all sell off their overvalued properties to funnel all their money and time into XXX cause, and to stop living the good life because it sucks for so many others, how far do you think I would get. Look, I feel a certain amount of resentment toward "limousine/latté liberals" and what I see as their tendency towards complacency, a real lack of urgency, especially when it comes to the nightmare life has become for working people in this country. It drives me crazy here at DU - hell, "comfortable" people seem to be pretty over-represented here compared to the population at large.

And what have we achieved here of any real significance? Helped exposed Gannon? Tried desperately to get some attention on the Plame investigation that went nowhere?

Maybe societies need to tear themselves down and build themselves up again on a periodic basis. It sure as hell seems like America really wants to destroy itself no matter how much we holler about it.

I really don't know, but I will continue to give what time and money I can to the progressive side, because it's the only side that makes any sense to me, but I'm a lowly underpaid translator. My cousin's clique has more power to actually do something than I do. Cultivating friendships with these folks (and they all seemed like very nice, involved people to me. In fact, my cousin's sons are both Earth First!'ers. Their dad is rich, but they have spent years living in vans in the woods doing activism. I would urge you to hesitate before you make presumptions about how these people live. But these folks have been into progressive causes for decades, and they've learned to strike a balance between enjoying their personal success and doing something to change the world. I'm relatively new to this stuff. Before 9-11, I was a relatively apathetic, middle-of-the-road moderate democrat, but Bush changed that. But thinking about nothing else but politics (which I have only a miniscule amount of influence over) seems to be a surefire road to disappointment and self-destruction.

I will never go back to being as happy-go-lucky and complacent as I was in the Clinton years. I completely underestimated thee right's capacity for evil.

But I'm going to try and see that my family enjoy a good life, too. And I'm not going to feel guilty about it.

Oh, I adore limousine Libs, as I do Libs of all stripes--the proles, the profs, the bohemians. And I am a firm believer in carrying on outreach on ALL fronts---upscale or downscale economically, or sideways in intensity (except for NADIR-ites, on whom I gave up---uh-oh :nuke: ).

I was reacting more to what appeared to be the either-or-ness of your premise and, I will say, the heavy component throughout of putting-down our participation in the board. That somebody is telling you to PREACH to others is coming from YOU. Myself, I don't like being preached to, either, much less being talked down to, and these in themselves would be determinants regarding my associations.

I don't doubt that rich people potentially have more power or that there are very good rich people out there, and don't envy based on their material or immaterial "comfort" and don't puncture anybody's aspirations whether to "comfort" or otherwise, and I wish you NO guilt in pursuing whatever. K?

I tried to respond to the core premise of the o.p.--the quality of our commitment, with all these questions swirling around it: 1) Time management--we're wasting time/effort that could be directed to concrete personal goals. 2) We rant and rave while not really doing something. 3) We just plain spend too much danged time here.

However, the premise was embedded in a cloud of classism. You couched everything in terms of fitting-in to a group that you portrayed as being good Libs who sounded snooty. You made it sound like your association would be EITHER with them QUALITY people OR with us grungy policy wonks AND that you had made your choice. And, "to be honest" (as CLINTON once said, see next paragraph), my impression was sadness that you would want to be in a scene where somebody told you to go outside because of the way you were behaving.

(Sidebar: Re:: "to be honest." This happened when Charlie GIBSON was pounding CLINTON hard on something and when GIBSON upped the ante, CLINTON said, "to be honest," whereupon GIBSON said, "What were you being before?" In reality, "honest" is a Southernism meaning "rude, blunt, hurt-your-feelings.)

You yourself said you have experienced much and accomplished much, and there are scads of members here who are professionals, authors, artists, and who knows what else--yet, you made it sound like just being here as such equated with doing nothing. I submit that you/we can do more than one thing, not JUST be on the board.

I'm quite sure that there are plenty of snooty well-off folks here, and no judgment of them was implied. I was talking about myself and myself alone. I didn't tell anybody else to do anything.

I'm sure a lot of people here HAVE struck a good balance between personal, professional and political activities. Myself, I think spending hours here a day while getting fat and neglecting social activities was not a good balance.


My point in bringing up the "rich friends" was just that I was presented an opportunity to have positive interactions with a lot of people of great achievement and I felt I had squandered some of that chance by preaching at them about stuff they were already quite aware of.


As for classism, I am a classist. As long as there is a huge disparity of income in this country, I disagree with the American tradition of everyone pretending we are all "middle class". It's BS, and I don't hesitate to let people, even in those circles , know that OUR family is struggling just to pay the rent, that our kids get free lunch in school, and when I do talk politics, it is the plight of poor and working class people I'm most concerned with, as opposed to the pet causes of rich liberals, abortion and gay rights.

As for "fitting in" I don't know if I really can, but my point was just that I wanted to be more positive, rather than preachy at these gatherings. Maybe even pull out a game of twister, who knows!


I wasn't a complete drag at the lat get-together. We played bocci, helped fix a broken fence-door, had some fun actually. But I just felt that I was obsessing on the political stuff more than anybody else, and I wanted to make sure I got all my talking points out there.

Again, the piece was strictly self-critical. If you haven't fallen into the trap I was in, more power to you. If you're rich and doing great things for the community, great. If you're a shop steward doing great things with a union, terrific. And I agree, we can do more than just one thing, and I have no intention of "leaving DU" as some people have announced with such portent. I just don't want to find that I have spent 5~6 hours and made 107 posts in one day again. That IS a massive waste of time.

is that the information keeps changing, therefore changing what to think. First, the group you referred to was just nondescript friends you wanted to see more of. Then, it turned out at least one is a cousin you will be seeing no matter what. And the implication from the start was that your being obsessed and preachy (your characterizations) was directly related to being associated here. Now it turns out you were talking only about yourself all along. You see what I mean.

Wow!--YOU "have spent 5-6 hrs and made 107 posts in one day"? While it might be "a massive waste of time" it also could carry a certain claim to fame.

I love DU and will never abandon it, but it's far better in smaller doses, as is politics as a whole.

*******QUOTE*******

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3488936

.... I resigned telling my co-workers and supervisor the reason . Some laughed but many expressed a similar wish but pointed out the usual reasons they couldn't follow, mortgages,rent, family etc. But I had these as well.

I was immediately offered a well paid job with Murdoch's competitor the other Australia Media mogul Kerry Packer's PBL Publishing which
dominates television. I declined because they too helped promote Howard and his Bush led war.

It took a hard and stressful 12 months but now I work for myself and although I don't make the same money I feel free because I will only work with other corporations or individuals who hold the same ethics..which DU'ers express on here every day and which I have no need to explain. I've never been happier. ....

********UNQUOTE*******

They are independents, and most of out clients are travel-related.

If I worked for a bad Co. like Home Depot or Wal-Mart, I'd quit, too.

That's exactly what we decided after the election. Although I still do my fair share of bitching, but that's just my nature!

http://www.lightupthedarkness.org

That is what drives me. My very Liberal Democratic friends were asking me about why my passion when "it is out of your control".
I said if I were childless like them I would not be anywhere near as obsessive about politics and the future but I have two young boys. It freaks me out sometimes when I think of the world they are growing up in.

I don't try to shelter them from the world either. They see homeless on the streets every day. They are fully aware that their country's leader is a very bad man who has started wars out of greed.

But their present is just as important as their future. They need to know what a good childhood is if they are wish it on their fellow human beings.

I'm very worried about the world they are growing up in. It's very likely we'll move back to Japan before they hit Jr. High School. I want them to have the best possible education, and I think Japan offers it. They'll have experienced firsthand the difference between a social-darwinist, religious extremist nation and a more secular, more egalitarian one with universal health care, gun control and a culture that teaches people to care about their neighbor. Hopefully, they'll come to the same conclusion I did about which is better after living in both.

just as you have. They don't freak out about anything but they do have a hard time understanding why people like bush**. As I do.

You are very lucky to have the Japan option. Leaving this country for good is always in the back of my mind. Why just this morning I was looking at properties in the UK. I believe it will be Canada though because I still have parents to be near as thay age.

The reality of what is happening hasn't hit home here either. People who have money and property are still able to live their untouched lives, going to the beach, going to friends for BBQ and their personally vinted wines. They have beautiful horses in their stables. Life is still good.

I do keep most of my rantings to DU or meetings that are setup for that purpose. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop though. The last 6.0 earthquake shook some reality to the surface as to how vulnerable everyone is here. If things keep going down the economic slide, those people will soon find themselves wishing they had paid attention.

These folks don't seem apathetic. in fact, They have been receptive and generally agree with a lot of my spiels. But I just don't want to be the guy who drags down every party with endless rants about the estate tax or war or ANWR. These people I'm talking about all KNOW what's going on. I'm so used to living in parts of the country where nobody has ever heard of PNAC or Plame, that I still have a habit of trying to fill people in. But they already know! Believe me, there is not a single republican in this circle.

It's known as the "other wine country" because it's newer than the one up north. A lot of these people are liberals. I went to a tea party for feminists several weeks ago. It's just that the ones who still think they are getting the unbiased news from their media, seem to be out of touch to me. I do not rant my politics because my family gets pissed off with me when I do. They too are out of touch and walk away from me when I try to turn them on to the PNAC website and other documented facts.

Just give it out in small doses in between the more agreeable conversation.

Not everybody can handle it all at once LIKE WE CAN. (knowing wink)

;)

The Peidmont region of Virginia right outside D.C. It is also Hunt country, a bunch of pretentious rich fuck Bushbots that all drive Range Rovers. The thing that I find most daunting is that THESE ARE the people that are pushing this Neocon/conservative/family values bullshit down our throats, quite literally. They are all foreign and domestic policy wonks that work in the Bush administration at various levels.

but they have a Camry and a small Ford pickup. Both with Kerry stickers.

We went to the Sonoma July 4 parade last year, and they had booths for the GOP and The dems there. The GOP booth was deserted, the dem booth had a steady stream of people. The crowd was full of folks with Kerry buttons.


I guess all wine countries are not created equal.

Torment must be a buzz kill in wine country.

It's too late to edit, but the REASON this movie crystallized this idea in my mind was that Will Smith's character, despite being a hustler, a nobody from the wrong side of the tracks, wanted something better, and it wasn't just that he wanted to take people to the cleaners.

He used his extraordinary charm and wit to create persona that would win people over. But he didn't just try to con them. He really gave of himself. Went out of his way to see that everybody experience their time with him to the fullest. He asked very little in return for what he gave, really. He told stories that were not always his own, but he felt them as though they were, using imagination to try to forge real connections with people.

Through the course of the film, you start to see that the socialites he's wooing are the con men, and that he's the most real person in the bunch. But he manages to chip through their phony facades in a very personal way, and make contact with the real person within.

We may not be as phony as the Manhattan bons vivants in the film, but we all wear facades. So I guess my point is that, instead of reciting talking points or just venting outrage all the time, I want to make sure that my emphasis is more on making that connection.

I am starting to feel like I'm wasting my life because there's nothing I can do to stop this shit. I know, I know, if everyone has that attitude, nothing will get done... but I need to step back and enjoy my own life, do the things I want to do, and contribute what I can to the cause when it's necessary.

Good luck to you in your quest for balance, I will be struggling right along with you.