I am invited to a Baptism

We are invited to a baptism next week. I have no clue.
It is DH’s brothers first baby. I love Mom and Dad dearly.

But, I have been through the baby shower, the baby announcements and now the baptism.

Is this another church ritual? Would it be important to be there just to support the parents as family members? Is it a celebration of a new life? Is there usually a family dinner afterwards? Are gifts involved?

I was baptized and went to church as a child – I can’t say it has made any difference to me. And when my teens were babies we did church shop and didn’t find any place to call home, and chose to spend our Sundays doing other family things.

I do not know if I want to go - I do not know what to expect. I do know if there is a heaven - there isn’t a gatehouse with somebody asking for your baptism papers before you can enter….

Please help me understand.

When I was a fundy, baptism was a big thing, but in our church you had to choose to be baptised, so it wasn't a baby thing.

It sounds to me like this is something for the parents. You love the mom & dad, but don't share their beliefs... that doesn't mean you're a hypocrite if you go to the ceremony. Also, going to the ceremony doesn't mean you buy into what it means to them.

Forgive me for drawing this analogy, but maybe you could look at it like going to a funeral. No, not that it means death to anyone! But funerals make me quite uneasy, but I go because I love the family.

Just my two cents. Good luck on your decision. :hug:

I was raised as a Catholic. And the bullshit about a baby needing to be baptized so they could be absolved of "original sin" has always made me angry. Just how in the hell can an innocent baby be guilty of "original sin"? What has any baby done to be accused of having "original sin" or any sin whatsoever? I think this is just about the most crazy shit I have ever heard of.

Don

You know...the first human lifeforms on earth that just magically appeared and were immediately capable of language?


Anyway, I'm ranting.


Go. Support your family. It's not going to kill you.

...with not being born through Immaculate Conception than with what Adam and Eve did. It was a long time ago, but that is how I remember it anyway.

Don

If not, go ahead and go with a "clear conscience" on your part -- you're not being a hypocrite. I sit Catholic, Methodist, etc.? If so, it'll just be a short ceremony where certain things are said by the priest/minister, the parents maybe, and definitely the godparents. Then, the baby is sprinkled, may cry, and everyone goes and eatsa dn socializes! No worries. It's like another poster said: it's for the parents.

The clan is catholic, so that is probably it. I don't remember their wedding church ceremony, but I do remember the grand party afterward. DH grew up in catholic elementary schools - that was enough for him. We have respected everyones right to their beliefs, and do not keep our politics a secret.

Babies born with sin?? Now that sounds like the road to ruin.

Smile and nod....
Smile and nod....


Geez!!

Do that and you can't go wrong. In previous generations, the "three rituals" were pretty much accepted without question. Some areas of the country are overwhelmingly Catholic, and these sacraments are looked at as rites of passage against the backdrop of the religion.

I was raised Catholic. Since I was baptized as an infant, I obviously don't remember it. But I had godparents, an aunt and uncle, that gave me extra gifts for Christmas and birthdays-- yay! As I grew older, I came to appreciate the gifts they gave me- not the presents I mentioned, but the spiritual gifts. My godmother passed away last year at 87, and the example she set for me helped form my spritual course, even though I did not remain Catholic.

First Communion was a way to more fully participate in the Church. Along with Communion, though, comes Confession. While there may be negative repercussions associated with this, learning to account for one's behavior is, in my opinion, a generally good thing; Confession helps with that.

Confirmation was a big thing I really looked forward to. I hadn't really hit a questioning age yet, as my environment was still pretty universally Catholic. Confirmation, though, signalled the end of having to go to religious education classes. That is the way many Catholic youth look at the sacrament, which is a pity.

I'm a Presbyterian now, and we are far more understated in our views of these events. Baptism is done before the church, and may or may not include some sort of reception afterwards. Gifts are pretty much optional, and it in a practical sense, it is kind of an adoption of the child by the congregation (the congregation even takes a vow to help raise the child). Communion is strictly a personal thing, usually handled by the individual family, with little or no fanfare when the child takes Communion for the first time. Confirmation is something that classes are offered for, but there is not a set age when a youth is "supposed to" attend them. Confirmation for a Presbyterian means joining the church. And it is not a given that the young man or woman will join the church at the end of the class. My oldest son, nearly 18, has not joined the church; my youngest who's nearly 15 joined a while ago. My wife, who was raised a Presbyterian, did not join a church until after we were married. That's one of the things I prefer about my new denomination is the flexibility that recognizes variations in the individual spiritual journey.

It is a catholic thing. The baptism is the 1st of 3 sacremental heardles. This one the child does not decide. The next one is communion. That one is also not a choice of the child. The last one is conformation where they actually choose to be confirmed. In all 3 cases you as a good family member give money.

I grew up catholic but did not choose to be confirmed. My sister wanted me to be godmother of her son and I declined due to my lack of faith in the religion. It hurt her feelings but in the end wound up with a better godparent for the child.

The baptism is when the godprents are chosen to carry on the religious teaching to the children if god forbid anything happen to the parents.

that you're still under your parents' thumbs. Some CHOICE.

Most kids go through the motions so as not to anger their parents.

It's a sham.

My parents did not cram the religion thing down our throats and we were able to decide how far we wanted to go.
But yes the 3rd sacrement is a confirmation of the first two. And it is entered into by choice.
And yes families do take it to the extreme and there is no real choice.
I learned enough at an early age to know I was'nt going very far with the catholic religion. But it was interesting and I am thankful for the experience.
Conformation happens as a young teen about 13-16 I believe.

Were -- 15-17. Yeah, they are still under their parents' roof, but there's a bit more independence of thinking there. When I taught CCD from about 1988-1994, my kids were an average age of about 16 I'd say. Most could drive.

And, interestingly enough, the girls were much more vocal and argumentative about Catholic doctrine regarding women, sexual matters, and homosexuality. About 10 times more than the boys.

I went to a Lutheran christening just last month and have been to baptisms for other faiths, as well. Family and close friends are usually invited to celebrate welcoming the child into the family of God.

Gifts are usual. They don't have to be money and they don't have to be expensive.

My kids have never been baptized. But I would think that whether you need to go or not is a matter of protocol established in your family. There are usually consequences to being absent at critical family functions. If you hate that stuff, it's a matter of whether you can accept those consequences.

Gyre

Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.

but I usually go to things like this if it is family or close friends.

First of all I go for solidarity with family and friends.

Second, I go because I try to keep in mind that that I don't really know everything and my own views are not necessarily "the final answer" and that I need to show respect for the beliefs of others.

Third, I go because I think there is a fundamental need among humans for rituals to mark life passages.

that is gracious of you. We (including me) should all do more of this kind of thing--I know some people feel no one reads their posts just because there is rarely a comment or a thattaboy!

well, and they invited you, i"d say religion will probably not be crammed down your throat. I"m Catholic, and with the baptisms we've been to, it's mostly just blessing the baby, etc. Nothing about convert or burn. However, I do not frequent fundy Masses, so I know there are expections. However, given the fact that you all get along and they invited you, I doubt it's a fundy chruch.

Remember, Catholics are split right down the middle- half normal liberal Christians, half fundy fruitcakes. So, you have a good chance of not being at a fundy mass.

is attend the service and maybe pose for family group pictures later.

Some families have a little gathering afterward. In my extended family, there's a tradition of the baby wearing the same baptismal gown that has been in the family since 1899. It's like a regular baby dress, only about three feet long. We also have a mold for a lamb cake, which is served at the gathering, and which is passed around among the relatives as needed.

Presents tend toward the less practical. When my goddaughter's baby was baptized, I went to our church bookstore and bought a wall plaque that was a copy of an angel sculpted in some European cathedral.