What can be done about parents

who are irresponsible?

As I left school tonight, a 5 year old was in the office. Her mother was not at home when the bus dropped her off so the driver brought her back to school. This is the 3rd time this has happened in 3 months. The police were there, trying to find her mother or someone to come and get her. The one emergency contact the mom had listed for the little girl was a woman who had no idea who she was when the school called her. But mom had listed her as an aunt.

some on this board would excuse it. ,</sarcasm>

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3586285

if smokin crack is a religion.

My student is a third grader and in an emotionally disturbed SDC. His parents apparently always leave him places. Two hours later the dad appears, shrugs his shoulders and takes off.

None of the emergency numbers listed are correct. They are either people who have no idea who the family is or dead numbers.

I have no solutions... only more problems to add to the count.

has an aunt listed and we called her a couple months ago when we couldn't find the parents. When the secretary told her he was sick and could she come and get him the aunt said "Do I really have to?" LOL

By that age. Never had to go back to the school.

In my state, it is against the law to leave a kid under the age of 7 unsupervised.

year old by himself. 7 sounds so young

but it's legal in my state.

given up entirely. Many--over a dozen-- have told me to my face that they do not intend on spending any more energy trying to set their kids straight.

when there is a school there to raise her kids for her?

child protective services?

as I walked out the door.

would be to spend some time in foster care. Sad, isn't it?

24 hours, and the kid will be back home. Unless drug abuse, domestic abuse or prolonged abandonment can be shown, in most locale she'll be returned home in short order. Services will be offered to the parent, maybe, even big maybe, and there will be little accountability to see that the mother utilizes it. The school has a responsibility to make sure that the emergency numbers the parents give are valid.

Unfortunately foster care sucks. Seldom helpful and the reports of sexual abuse in foster homes are rampant. The underbelly of the US in the care of vulnerable children is awful.

emergency numbers are valid?

I can't even imagine how much time that would take.

The thing that gets me crazy are the temporary cell phone numbers, here today, gone tomorrow.

that was a stolen cell phone! I called the number and the guy told me his old phone was stolen and he hadn't changed the number when he got a replacement. He had received a half dozen calls for the woman I was looking for.

But he did offer to come up to school and have a word with the kid I was calling about. LOL :)

and they always have the longest recorded message with some barely audible convoluted thing.

who has a bible quote on her voice mail. Now if she would put as much effort into parenting as she has into studying the bible, I would not need to call her every week. :eyes:

after being reported. Simple as that.

they are now keeping all reported cases in the state in a data base that the case workers access to look for this very thing.

But the US has no staff to do the tracking necessary soooooo...they get away.

and when the new district - two states away - called for records, our principal got on the phone and had a conversation with the new principal. This was a really bad situation; the mom was days away from a court date where we were pretty certain she was going to lose her kids and she left the state.

Amazing how some people flippantly disregard a child's love/bond with their parent and how absolutely TRAUMATIZING it is for a child to be removed from the home and placed in foster care.

A mother not being home a few times after school is NOT a reason to yank the child from the home and place them in foster care. Social Services should possibly get involved to offer support services such as after school care vouchers and other wrap around services to under the Family Preservation dept.

a really big deal. Wraparound services are not offered for parental irresponsibility of this kind. There must be multiple severe problems in the family for that to occur. I'm not aware of such a thing as after school care vouchers but I'll tell ya', rewarding uncaring parents with something like that w/o sufficient cause will only backfire.

Some parents have work or child care issues, some parents have mental health issues and some parents have 'I don't give a shit' issues. Sad, but true.

for a 5 year old to get home from school and find mom gone.

known. Many of the kids, even at 5, are extremely self sufficient. I've known 5 year olds who cook eggs, bacon, muffins, chickens...take care of their much younger siblings.

If a child under 18 commits a crime, the kid gets normal punishment but both parents each get a fine of kids' age times $1,000.

Applies to parents messing up as well. I wish I could get this thing into Congress.

Time to contact my reps.

My son isonly 15.

doing nothing worse than trusting me.

You know there are kids that are born with a rebel streak.

When my son was in middle school he stole a candy bar and a can of pop while skipping school. With that type of law, my husband and I would have each had to pay $13,000? If I could afford $26,000 for a candy bar I would be at home homeschooling my kids, not out earning a living.

He's now a gainfully employed 19-year-old, thank God/dess, and has not resorted to a life of crime. As a parent, I don't take all the credit for how wonderfully he turned out, and I don't take all the blame for everything he did while growing up that did not meet with my approval. Kids making mistakes is not necessarily the result of bad parenting; people who think that are generally childless or have perfect children, and the odds of a perfect child are about 25%, I would estimate, from looking at my record of one perfect out of four. I would imagine that even she has some stories that I don't as yet know about.

I can't imagine letting a five year old be home alone - can you imagine how abandoned she must feel?

We're so overprotective, we don't even allow our seven year old to ride the bus, and heaven forbid we let her stay home alone.

once a week at a local dance studio. The small room in the back used by her class had its only door opening onto a driveway a few feet beyond a blind curve. It was a very dangerous situation. Yet, every week I'd stand there with my daughter waiting for her class to start while people pulled up in their big gas-guzzlers, dropped their four and five year olds off in the driveway before the teacher showed up while the room was still locked, and took off. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The negligence and child-endangerment were appalling.

cannot afford child care. I am not defending the mother here because I do not know the situation. But whatever the circumstances, it is the child that suffers.

which was part of the problem as there was no work number. The little girl didn't know her dad's name but thought it was Henry and he worked at a store nearby. So the cops called that store and a few others in that chain. But they couldn't find the dad.

really believe that, but this woman does not seem to be taking care of her child. It is really sad. She really should be placed in a loving home. Of course the process of foster homes and so on is just as emotionally upsetting for a child. The poor child. This just angers me so much.
edit for spelling.

It happens a lot more than you would think.

my major, and I also worked at two different daycares. I saw some of the best parents and I saw the scum of the earth. It certainly taught me on what kind of parent I will be.

It's nothing to have kids younger than five wander into a neighborhood library, or to have parents drop them off. At the library where my classmate worked, the police had pretty much informed the staff there was little they could do -- too many kids, overloaded system, and parents who just didn't give a shit.

they can always go to the mall.

And sorry, I would rather see them hanging out at the library.

that lift people out of poverty, teach parenting skills, and provide support services, such as after school care vouchers & drug treatment.

It sounds like this little girl should be in after school care. Does your school offer that?

Blaming the victim, as the Repukes do, isn't working. The poverty rate increased last year. 35 MILLION Americans llive in poverty. MILLIONS more struggle. 45 MILLION Americans are without healthcare and cannot afford basic medical, let alone therapy, support groups, rehab, etc.

How did the bus driver know the mother wasn't home? In my state, the bus simply drops the children at the bus stop. They don't go up to the door of every child's house and knock to see if someone is home.

a post i agree with;. i dont know what is up with this family. but i know many many families try, and are at wits end. they dont want to solve the problem by leaving a young one at home, just so few alternatives.

for WORKING parents. This mom doesn't work. The program is subsidized and parents only pay $5 a week.

The mom normally meets the bus at the corner but three times she has not been there. The first time it happened, the little girl did not know her address and she lives in a townhouse that looks like every other house on the block. So the driver called the school and got her address, went to the door and knocked but no one was home. So she brought her back to school. I don't know if she went to the house today or not.

nice to see the truth comes out. So because the MOM doesn't work you deny the CHILD after school care. Great logic there. Punish the child because of the failure of the parent.

But we are lucky to have this program. Until three years ago, we had no after school care. Now we have an agency that provides the services and they only charge $5 per kid per week. So I would imagine they are subsidized by a grant, which most likely says working parents only.

I also don't know why this mom doesn't work.

What help has the mother been offered? Real help?
Day care? Do we care about the child if it costs money?

I'm not bashing you, you are in an impossible situation,
but I'm pointing out that the government doesn't give a crap
and dumps the problem in your lap.

more School Social Workers. But that takes money and when it takes money, it takes taxes. People don't vote for bonds or millages as they once did. So, there is no one skilled in the schools to assess or assist these families.

we're going to continue to see this. It may very well be that this parent was neglectful. Without knowing every detail of the case, no one posting here can really say. It could also be that the parent has no reliable transpiration and is at their second or third job and is trapped and due to circumstances outside of their control can't get home in time. Many parents of all socioeconomic backgrounds don't have the backup support that parents once had. When the working poor are faced with it, they and their children are hit even worse.

Edited to add that I see the OP stated the parent doesn't work. Well, there isn't much excuse for her not being there.

Edited the edit for clarity :crazy:

to meet your child at the bus stop which is two doors away from your house? And you don't have a job? I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but I don't think we are asking too much of this mom.

I missed the part that she didn't work. I edited my post to reflect that. There isn't an excuse for a stay at home parent to miss the bus stop 3 times.

that the last time this happened the little girl said her mom was probably smokin at a friend's house. Her teacher asked 'cigarettes'? The little girl said 'no, her pipe'.

So I gather the pipe may be the reason Mom wasn't at the bus stop. Call it a hunch :eyes:

But the mom certainly hasn't impressed me so far. She DOES have a responsibility regardless of what help she has or has not been offered.

I don't think kids should be at the mercy of fate when it comes to
whether their parents have clue or not. If mommy is not up to the
job we should hire someone who is.

And don't we wish we could hire a capable parent for those poor kids who are being raised by incapable people!

I have a few in the family. :hi: