Missing Iraqi WMD is Pope John Paul's Miracle

Just hours after announcing that Pope John Paul II has been put on the fast track to sainthood, the Vatican has revealed his first miracle. After weeks of poring over the late pontiff's diary in search of a miraculous act, church officials now say that Pope John Paul II, or JP2 as the kids like to call him, used the power of prayer to make Saddam Hussein's infamous weapons of mass destruction disappear.

Vatican officials trace JP2's WMD miracle back to the run-up to the war in Iraq. With President Bush doggedly warning the American people about the threat posed by the WMD that Saddam Hussein surely possesses, and Vice President Dick Cheney saying that there is "no doubt" that Saddam has WMD, and Condoleezza Rice bluntly suggesting that we'll all be incinerated by a nuclear bomb if Hussein's regime is not overthrown, and British Prime Minister Tony Blair saying that Saddam could drop a nuclear warhead on your front porch in 30 minutes or less, JP2 was gravely concerned about the safety of all the millions of people in the world whom he was not condemning to hell.


the spoof: http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i8279

Well, maybe he also prayed to hide the connection between Saddam and Osama. ;-)

and nobody passing out due to teh stench.

Too hilarious. :eyes: Saddam didn't have anything in the first place. Duh.

JP2 was gravely concerned about the safety of all the millions of people in the world whom he was not condemning to hell.

"Thus, JP2 took action. And while another man of God was bombing the bejesus out of Baghdad, JP2 was praying to the Almighty to vanish Saddam's WMD from the earth. Apparently, the Lord was listening, for nothing even resembling a weapon of mass distraction has been discovered in Iraq in the two years since the invasion, though US troops reportedly have discovered curious pillars of salt near Saddam's hometown of Tikrit.

Of course the failure to find WMD has been a source of puzzlement ever since the United States invaded Iraq under that very pretext, only to discover that Saddam Hussein's regime possessed nothing deadlier than bug spray, leaving only the unacceptable conclusion that the highest-ranking officials of the Bush and Blair administrations had actually lied to the people in order to sell a military invasion in fact motivated by Iraq's vast oil reserves and the necessity of feeding an insatiable military-industrial complex in desperate need of bombing something, anything, to justify its existence. Thankfully, JP2's miracle finally dispels such dubious notions.

"This wonderful news clearly vindicates both President Bush's international and domestic policies," said White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, "the foundations of which are the value of prayer and Christian faith in every American's life and also the need to invade Iraq and overthrow the regime of Saddam Hussein. Now we can finally put aside any criticisms of President Bush regarding Iraq or anything else. Written apologies should be submitted by the end of the day."