My heart is breaking tonight

I was DeAndre's 4th grade teacher. This just breaks my heart. He was an angry 9 year old. His mother was in deep denial. Looks like she never did get him the help we so strongly encouraged.

http://www.kctv5.com/Global/story.asp?s=3378369

KANSAS CITY, Mo. – Prosecutors charged a 17-year-old Kansas Citian on Monday in the Saturday night shooting death of a man who was killed while playing basketball with his brother.

Damien M. Baker, 19, died at 49th and Agnes.

DeAndre M. Cummings faced first-degree murder and armed criminal action charges, according to a court document.

Before prosecutors filed the charges, Baker’s mother told KCTV5 News that her son wasn’t into crime or drugs.

Sorry to hear this, P2B. Knowing you, you did all you could.

6 or 8 kids. He used to sleep in class. Or try to - I don't allow that. The nurse and I worked with him and found out that he had no privacy at home and couldn't sleep at night. This was a kid who really needed his own space. The counselor worked with him and we all talked to mom constantly. DeAndre was a troubled little kid. Mom was in deep denial. But I liked her and really thought she would eventually wake up and get her kid some help.

The other thing I remember is that Mom was really young. She had her first kid at 14.

It's astonishing the crappy situations so many kids are in these days. We have one, Kendra, who's father is just flat-out nuts. Mom is in jail. Brother and sisters sorta huddle together for mutual support and Kendra is the eldest. Fantastic kid - little speech impediment, but works on it all the time. I really hope things work out OK for her, but I worry.

who has a parent in jail. We have so many of these kids now that our counselor has been going to training for a Children of Offenders program.

My kid this year is being raised by his grandparents. Mom took off as soon as Dad was busted. But our horrid repuke governor has eliminated the foster grandparents program. So I am afraid this kid and his 3 little brothers are going to be in a different home soon. Probably 4 different homes.

It's a recipe for disaster. How do these politicians sleep at night? Damn bastards.

you. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that you tried to get help for him.

:hug:

This is not the first time I have seen one of my former kids get in trouble. But this one really hurts because we worked so hard with his mother to convince her he was troubled and needed more than we could give him at school.

I can't remember all the kids I have taught but this one has stayed with me. I was just thinking about him the other day.

She has seen kid arrested for drugs in class, she had a student that was 16 and having her THIRD kid, and a lot more. It is a evil cycle and I do not see a way to break it.

I'm so sorry.

:hug:

I am just so angry right now. He was a pretty smart kid.

i've got a boatload of teachers in the family, and I know they always take it hard when former students wind up on that road--not always surprised, but always distressed. Best thoughts to the grieving, and :hug: to you, Teacher.

You're right. This is not surprising news.

I am so sorry about this news. It's hard to be an educator. My teachers showed me that through their actions, and you reinforced it for me. It must feel like you've one of your own.
:cry:

Thanks for the kind thoughts.

I have a kid just like DeAndre this year. He leaves me for middle school in less than 2 weeks. His mom called me just a few weeks ago and said she was ready to choke her son because he's been acting like a thug. I am going to call her tomorrow and tell her about DeAndre. And I am going to have a long talk with Mr. Thug too. I talked the principal out of suspending him today, so he owes me.

They should be compensated more adequately for the professionals they are.

the next time a school levy is on the ballot. The voters in KCMO have not approved one since 1969.

BTW - rumor central says our supt is leaving. So get ready for a new roller coaster ride and don't say I didn't warn ya. :)

And the superintendent news is very bad. Shit. We still need to get one through high school.

we have now but at least he has lasted longer than most. He will be vested in our retirement system in August. In the 20 years I have been in the district, he is the first one I can think of who has lasted long enough to be vested. Once that happens, he really has no reason to stick around. Heck, I would be looking for another gig if I was him.

Good luck with your kid. He'll make it. Parents are the most important factor. Make him go to summer school. This is the last year they are giving kids money to go. So take advantage of that.

Hey...I can do it too. Neato.

i have visits from kids i fostered who tell me my house was the only one they slept well in. it breaks my heart. so often these are the kids called trouble in classrooms. at 17, this child's life is doomed.

when he was 9.

At least I taught him to read. That's all I can think of right now. He was so angry, and thought he was stupid because he couldn't read. So at least I gave him that.

I tell my angry little boys that jails are full of guys who got too angry just ONE TIME. Man, this is evidence of that all right. Damn.

be proud you taught him to read. when a 9 year old is that angry, he is in deep pain and full of fear. i've lit a candle and offered sweet grass for his tortured spirit
peace and love proud2Blib

I saw his mom on the news and she was crying, saying this kid he killed had been threatening him. She is the one who needs our prayers right now.

I am sorry, this has to hurt. You did what you could and that is all you can do but still, it is heart breaking. Take care.

Why does this still hurt after all these years? You'd think I would be tougher.

The really bad thing is that politically things are so much worse than they were when I taught DeAndre. Carnahan was our governor and helped my school put a lot of programs in place to help the DeAndres of the world. Now Blunt is destroying them one by one. His attacks on Medicaid are already hitting us hard. We fund programs with Medicaid dollars. And we have written and called Blunt's office to ask him to come visit our school and see what tax dollars are doing to support kids. But of course he has not responded. That damn bastard. Maybe I should write and ask him to go visit DeAndre in prison - it's right next door to his gov's mansion.

I can feel those hugs.

so few resources. You do the best you can - Mom didn't have what she needed to parent well. A teacher, a social worker, Boys Club, Girls Club, etc - they can't do it for her. But I know they all try. It's a never ending story. And your heart breaks. And the children are lost.

But you keep trying. Because you're 'socialists', 'democrats', 'hopeful','believers in futures','givers' 'lovers','explorers' and 'seekers'. God Bless You All.

She was the first person I ever met who wasn't from the middle east who is Muslim. She is still wearing a burka. I saw her on the news tonight. I thought of her on 9/11 and wished her peace.

No one who works with these kids could embrace the 'ideals' of the Republican party. Unless they have no heart. But then they wouldn't be working with kids if they had no heart.

Why TF do these kids have guns at a neighborhood basketball game?

Go ahead and flame me, all you pro gunners. But I just don't get it. A gun took one kid's life and ruined another. Two moms are grieving tonight. How can anyone think we need to be armed?

My dad was a teacher/counsellor with our local Board of Ed, who ended up working with many troubled kids. He told me that every time he opened up the newspaper, he felt a bit apprehensive that he would recognize their names in the crime section or in the obituaries. He retired a while back, but he will probably feel this way until the day he dies. When he walks around town, there are always former students -- bookstore owners, bus drivers, you name the job and they had it -- who greet him. I'll bet that there are lots of students you helped have a happier life, whether or not they remember what you did.

contacting him. just for support or anything? i clearly have no idea of all the circumstances but your big heart is so evident here so i wanted to ask....

prayers for deandre and his family and for the victims family as well. such a tragedy all the way around

A co-worker's husband is a corrections officer at the county jail. He says DeAndre is one of the youngest inmates there. It doesn't look like he'll be bonded out.

I am trying to decide if I should go visit him. I need to get an okay from him and his family.

What do you think?

If there were more teachers who cared as much as you do, our world would be a much better place.

You can't save every kid, and some are unreachable for whatever reason.

But your compassion is really touching to me. Thank you for being a great teacher.

I am just doing my job. And there are a lot of teachers who care about kids as much or more than I do. You have to learn to like them if you want to keep your job (and stay sane).

I am trying to decide if it would help this kid if I went to visit him. I honestly don't know.

He did wrong but you can't just throw people or your feelings out the window.
I don't know enough about this situation but he might find great comfort in you just remembering him and actually caring about him.
I don't know what to say. This has to hurt especially since you will keep seeing that little boy in your head.
You did what you could then. It's up to the courts now.
Here's a bunch of hugs...


:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

I want it to help HIM.

That is what I am struggling with.

Thanks for the hugs. I can feel them.

:grouphug: :grouphug:

looks like you couldn't have done more than you already have though. Thanks for being a caring teacher.

but I think anyone with a heart would care.

My heart goes out to you - and to this boy and his mother. I adopted an older child through Social Services who had been through it all - fetal alcohol syndrome/effect, childhood sexual abuse, severe physical abuse, terrible emotional abuse, malnutrition, neglect, seven foster homes by the age of seven, incarceration in a mental hospital by the age of seven. Those were the days of whitewashing children's case histories, in hopes of getting them adopted.

By the time you encountered DeAndre, it was too late. You made a difference, yes - he saw that there are some people who care. You taught him to read. You gave a damn, in a world where many people don't give a damn about kids like him - or like my boy.

The Jesuits had it right when they said "give me a child until the age of seven and he's mine for life" (or words to that effect). By the time I adopted my boy and you encountered DeAndre, the damage was done, and it is becoming apparent to many psychologists, psychiatrists, child welfare workers and adoptive and foster parents that no amount of positive input can help a child who is damaged so profoundly. I bankrupted myself, monetarily and emotionally, trying to pull my particular firebrand out of the fire. He made great strides, and for a while it looked as if we had won the battle - but as he approached adulthood, no matter what, he was determined to jump right back into the fire. At some point, the downward spiral becomes impossible to stop.

All you and I can know is that we added light to the sum of light. We tried. We tried so hard to save those lost boys. But it came too late for both of them - and for so many other children who languish out there, trapped in a system, trapped in a society where their needs are ignored, and their humanity is not cherished.

All we can know is that we tried - and all we can do is cherish our lost boys and hope that someday, somehow, they may be healed.

:hug: