The 100 Worst Americans

I ran over a dead skunk on the way home listening to the smarmy self-promoting AOL contest details for the upbeat "Greatest Americans" list. Conjuring and critiquing the horrors and bad judgment inherent in such lists I will leave with the roadkill- though the smell lingers.

The problem with the "worst" list, besides being devilishly pessimistic and downbeat- almost UnAmerican in itself is the wild temptation to err the same way, or opposite rather, as the controversies on the AOL list.

Suffice it to say the Bushistas and the Bush dynasty, minus the insignificant Laura are automatically on OUR list as well.

Starting off with the first American Judas, Benedict Arnold, let us examine first how "worst" applies. There was America then one might argue, but Arnold's betrayal rises to the occasion with the vim and depth of bottomless spite and wounded ego seeking to comfort ambition via the back door of punishing his fellow rebels. It for his attitude, which other patriots in his unlucky or aggrieved shoes, that transcends the mere act. And for money and a commission while Major Andre is left twisting slowly in the breeze.

Another natural would be John Wilkes Boothe who with one bullet shot down America's healing when the war to all purposes was well over. That bullet is still rippling through the fabric of America. His attitude was one of cause, the worst and most unrealistically romantic of spiteful non-democratic heroes.

The legendary skinflint John D. Rockefeller is almost the gold standard of the aristocratic tycoon as social villain.

Mark Hanna still has had a greater negative impact on American politics
over several administrations than Karl Rove, but give him time- the Dems certainly seem apt 19th Century foils.

To add some controversy one would have to add someone like Robert E. Lee who prioritized loyalties to the destruction of his nation and found it much harder to abandon the noble exhilaration of battle when the war was long lost than his oaths to the wounded nation. He makes Colin Powell into a petty midget of betrayal yet perversely arouses our admiration.

In "The Devil and Daniel Webster" the devil's chosen jury was won over to the American rhetoric of the great reconciling orator. Our worst must be made of sterner stuff and more closed minds. They may be mostly words like Ann Coulter or the pretense of ideas and accomplishments common toi the very worst, but it is the destructive power and the proud meanness of attitude and self-delusion that make them the Greatest Worst. If they did not destroy America or rise up above the common citizenry, it would not be for want of trying or lingering conscience.

Father Coughlin - Radio Priest who was pro-Facism.

Aaron Burr - shot Alexander Hamilton in a duel, was willing to betray America to the British in an insane scheme to regain power. Vice President who put in plenty of vice.

General Custer - genocidist.

J. Edger Hoover - for the misuse of bearucratic power to further his own twisted ends.

Joe McCarthy - Formulated the Red Scare, and a mean spirited jackass ( who was partiall correct, largely by accident ).

Alger Hiss - Betrayed state secrets to the Soviets (seems clear at this point that he actually did this as opposed to previous interpretations).

Bryant
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They sort of spring out like a recurring rash, don't they? Despite not being drilled much in the upbeat history books. Hiss goes with Nixon. So if he actually is a Communist traitor he scores a double in launching another worst American's career dark side.

Custer has the requisite history and flaws to go with his last campaign. They seem to lead charmed lives until they do their maximum damage.