What are some other problems the Pope could solve?

His solution to problems are so simple it is amazing no one has thought of them before.

He should have his own show like Dr. Phil.

He has that cute Dr. Ruth like accent already plus the goofy duds and cool hat. Imagine the marketing possibilities of little Popemobiles.

People would just come on with their problems and he would solve them in his no nonsense way.

Acholohism?

"Stop drinking."

Anorexia?

"Eat a sandwich, maybe some soup"

Were you butt raped by a priest and now have trouble trusting any authority figure and cannot have any intimate relationships?

(a dart to the neck and the person is removed as they cut to a commercial)

Depression?

"Vitamins" (oh wait, that's Tom Cruise, his religion is obviuosly nutty)

Even current events could be solved by this wisest man alive.

Poverty?

"Don't be poor. Just stop being poor."

It may sound like that sketch Bob Newhart does on "Mad TV" ("Just stop it!") but it would be different because this is a guy that speaks directly to God.

Unfortunately, it leaves a lot of American Catholics in the cold.

Look at how Ratzinger and John Paul killed liberation theology in Latin America, for example.

The appointment of Ratzinger was essentially a great big FUCK YOU to anyone who isn't for covering up child rape and doesn't hate GLBT folk on sight.

at the balcony

I mean, they're not technically MY magazines, although I suppose that could be what he uses my co-pay for...

by urging individuals and nations to be generous towards the poor, to care about human rights, to seek peace among nations, to seek dialog with other religions, and to be responsible towards the environment. Those things are compatible with true Christianity.

Personal things, like sexuality and medical matters, the Pope should stay out of. The thinking is based on outdated science and medieval metaphysics. The Church has little credibility on these matters with their own followers anyway.

"Can't we all just get along"

The Catholic church has ordered so many people to resist birth control, stem cells, etc, it would be a huge benefit it the Pope would just shut up.

Not that I'm holding my breath. It took them 500 years to admit that Gallileo was right. That puts their ETA for accepting the usefulness of condoms out at around the year 2500.

And never the one that they're actually living in.

I suppose he could change the lightbulb.

This cracked me up! Thanks for the grin.

:toast:

If he would stop telling people NOT to use birth control and condoms.
Funny how that works, huh?
Another colossal jackass.