Florida: 'A Paradise Of Scandals'

<snip>This is how Hiaasen describes Florida: "The Sunshine State is a paradise of scandals teeming with drifters, deadbeats, and misfits drawn here by some dark primordial calling like demented trout. And you'd be surprised how many of them decide to run for public office."

Still true?

"Yeah, very true. More true than ever I think. The opportunities for corruption are many here," says Hiaasen. "But the one thing about Florida politicians, the crooked ones that I still find somewhat heartwarming, is that they're not very sophisticated."

In fact, most of them still take cash. You could hold a film festival of all the undercover sting operations and perp walks involving public officials. One of Hiaasen's favorite subjects was Miami Commissioner Humberto Hernandez, who was indicted for bank fraud and money laundering, re-elected anyway, and continued to serve until convicted of vote fraud.

"A pernicious little ferret from the first day he walked onto the stage," says Hiaasen. "And the only thing that slowed his political career down was jail, when they took him away to jail and then he could no longer serve. And even in Florida, they don't let you serve from inside the cell."

Hiaasen says any politician without handcuff marks on his wrists is considered an elder statesman. He called one Miami mayor “a slagheap of mediocrity.” And he called the Florida state legislature “a festival of whores.”