I'm 41 and not married. Does that make me a lesbian?

I'm so sick of that attitude towards people who choose not to pair off - it's so retarded and really homophobic. So bug off! :argh:

... and in control of my life ... and at peace with myself ...


:hi:

you are gay

}(

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:hi: I'm sure most of my relatives think I'm a lesbian ... my new neighbors definitely do (gasp ! a single woman ... older ... with DOGS !! she must be g-a-y!!) ... so, sure --- I can be gay by any definition !

Check the official manual...

Dogs signal availability.......

the manual does call for cats...and several ex-lovers as friends...

...and SpongeBob Squarepants have been seen together a lot lately---not that there's anything wrong with that.

:)

I'm just kidding. I know exactly what you mean. I'm 34 and single as can be so I've heard plenty of lesbian whispers thru the years.

Also, if you pose for a picture with any gay friends or friends who supposedly LOOK gay, you are gay.

one dish?

Not that there is anything wrong with that, of course

Just Kidding. Yet the way they are "holding" that one dish so um err um err "lovingly" is fucking weird. Magnum PI...sorry I can not stop thinking about that.....

Men with pie. ERRRRR......WEIRD!

Sterotyping...I guess it's ok when DU does it, huh?

Check out the Chief Justice. His evil eye is actually his right!

just smart! ;-)

and no offense to the married folks!

"Stay single...you'll die alone, but you'll die happy!" }(

(And I'm celebrating my 17th wedding anniversary this Saturday!)

My husband is the best friend I've ever had. He's funny, kind, supportive and he's my strength when I feel like I've hit the end. I can't imagine the emptiness of wishing a life with him away.

People should be happy, whether that's with someone or without them. It's never too late to be happy. If you really feel that way maybe you think about going back to single life.

Married 11 1/2 years to my best friend. Can't even begin to imagine my life without him in it.

Librarian!

Just kidding, couldn't resist.

I'm spreading this one around to the librarians I know.

...that's how I know.

:rofl: Just kidding. :D

The speculation WRT when Roberts got married is just stupid.

is that for all of the speculation over whether or not he is gay simply because he married in his forties, nobody speculates his wife, Jane Sullivan Roberts, is a lesbian because SHE waited until she was in her forties before marrying.

To me it's offensive and so 1950s.

And yes, I am 50, never married, and not lesbian.

in the gay community we call that a beard...

the men I've been dating are wasting my time" so I just dropped the whole idea and did other things....travel, living/working in Europe, new careers...I've been asked if I'm lesbian and just laugh in their faces...

No regrets...

Some people just don't get people choosing to remain single; I know some.

Somebody said, "It's better to be single than to wish you were."

I am fine by myself and if others cant understand that, tough shit.

except equal rights for lesbians?

I've long since resigned myself to "dirty old man" status. Hell, at least it's something I can have fun with... :rofl:

"Thin, neat and single." If you fall into that category, you are gay!:)

40 and never married does seem to tweak some people.

I made the choice to keep my relationships private once I moved away from the family and the first time one had the temerity to tell me they were 'worried' I was lesbian I had the best laugh of the decade.

'Worried'? What the hell does that mean? It didn't help matters much when I said that either.
:+

haha!

Being sexually aroused by other women makes one a lesbian.

MojoXN

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...but if you are...
A. Attractive
B.intelligent
C.Financially secure

then you have just hours to contact me before you are drafted by "The Dark Side".

Silly girl, you should have thrown a way-to-young marriage and tossed a couple kids to gain the street cred I have...
Edit:Spelling,as always

I don't know what Lesbians pose with.

Power tools.

Gotta feed the lesbian myth!

with power tools. At least that's what my lesbian friends tell me.

I kid. :)

or hiking boots...

and don't get excited sisters....a little humor...I'm gay too

:bounce:

But, unless you're a Nun, people misunderstand the difference.

the fact that you pretend to have a crush on Tom Cruise is what makes you a lesbian.

:rofl:

made me laugh!!! good one!

You are not willing to "settle" for a life partner just because "everyone else is doing it". When I was single, I would tell people who asked that I was looking for a MAN, and not little boys, which was all I had found up to that point. At age 38, I found a man-but if I hadn't, I'd still be single.

kids, there are more cons than pros about getting married. I am a 38 professional female (not bad looking and rather successful) and have never had trouble finding strong, fulfilling relationships with men. Will never married, although I am crazily in love with my male partner of almost 8 years. WHY MESS UP WITH SOMETHING THAT ISN'T BROKEN for a piece of paper since neither of us wishes to have kids????

And believe me, I am not lesbian (have nothing against those who are)

Marriage is a crock. I'll avoid it until I have a kid...which won't be for a LONG time. (I'm 21 now, don't want to even THINK about marriage and family until 35 or so)

..if you're not, then you'd be a plain old dyke.... ;-)

I guess that would be the criteria....

15 years later I still walk. It was the right thing for me to do then and its the right thing for me now. To your question the answer is NO.

I remember that from "The World According to Garp" -- the notion that anyone living outside the very narrow "norm" of sexuality/relationships was automatically "suspect".

And, even as far as woman have come in the last 30 years, you fall into that catagory -- an unmarried woman over a certain age without children.

GASP!

I am a very serious sexual suspect. I'm 45, umarried without children, have grey hair that I now keep short, wear no make-up on a daily basis, wear red Chuck Taylors, currently not dating, and have my own basementful of power tools that I know how to use.

I know that I confuse the shit out of my neighbors! :D And I kind of enjoy it.

...power tools AND an Irving fan...Throw in a post with bears and wrestling and I'll swear off hotchicks.com tonight..

I had gone to an all-girls Catholic school and been a cheerleader.

That's not bears and wrestling, but....all those little uniforms... :evilgrin:

...young girls,plaid,and a cheerleader...I'm WAY past cranking up...you can't even imagine until you spend time in a catholic boys school with blazers and the rest...You could be my (dirty) childhood dream.In fact you ARE...Come to New Hampshire at once...Report your arrival at once,you nymph,you..

this gay woman is interested! (It was the red Chuck Taylors that got me..):hi:

:evilgrin:

and all their negative consequences. What do I call her? And you? And others of your ilk?

I call you SMART!! Keep enjoying life and ignore the idiots who would wish you other than what you have and know is right for you!!

Listen to Mom!

;)

;-)

My mom is a class of '56 too. :-)

Considering that was the "mom stays home and dad goes to work" ideal back then, your mom and I did good, raising independent think-for-yourself and above all be-true-to-yourself daughters. Hard to believe the big 50 reunion is coming up. Wonder if your mom is considering attending hers? I can barely relate to that little girl I was then, so I think I'll take a pass. Wouldn't fit into my poodle skirt and white bucks anymore, that's for sure!

Blessings to you and your mom!

I was 45 when I got married. My fiance and I went to a monthly meeting of a historic re-enactment group we belong to and announced the news. Afterwards I had several people come up to me to say that they had thought I was a lesbian because up until then I had hang with female friends, including a lesbian couple. I had been oblivious to the perception that I was lesbian because I knew I wasn't sexually attacted to women and my female friends were just that - female friends. I should add that there was nothing particularly homophobic about the group - it's just that people thought I was lesbian and were surprised when it turned out I wasn't.

Sadly, after I married and my husband and I began the adoption process for our daughter, I lost one of my good female friends. She, like me, preferred to be with women friends, although I believe her sexual orientation was predominently heterosexual. She did not take the change in my status well - like I was no longer available on short notice to go to a sci fi convention out of state because the only time my husband and I had to shop for furniture was that weekend. Although she would occassionally come over or we saw her at events, after our daughter arrived on the scene, we lost touch almost entirely. She would not respond to my emails or invitations and when we see her at the re-enactment events, she is cool and stand-offish. It's a shame. We went through grad school together and I miss her friendship.

I just don't have any interest in a permenent relationship. I have never thought that marriage would be enjoyable. I have nothing to prove to anyone.
I have been told that when married people see a single person enjoying life too much they spring into action. They try to find that person a mate to put an end to their happiness........

i'm also 41, single by choice, and my sexual orientation is
a) straight
b) gay
c) none of your godammed business yer stupid ignorant busybody so bug off and get a life you jackass .

Answer: c

i have been in a relationship for 10 years and am perfectly happy the way things are. i am tired of getting questioned about when we are going to get married and everyone assuming it is him that isn't "moving us forward".

I have three kids so I'm a breeder.

My best friend decided not to have kids so she's a selfish bitch.

I'm a homemaker so I must be a doormat.

My cousin isn't married so she must be a lesbian.

Idiots are everywhere. Ignore them.

It never occurs to people that combinations of circumstances may have prevented a straight person from getting married.

Meanwhile, she was busy getting into hot water, by "carrying on" (to use the old-fashioned phrase) with another married (male) colleague.

As a result, my parents laugh off any criticism from family/friends about why I haven't gotten married and given them grandchildren (almost always they state those criteria in that order!).

Marcus Licinius Crassus: Do you eat oysters?
Antoninus: When I have them, master.
Marcus Licinius Crassus: Do you eat snails?
Antoninus: No, master.
Marcus Licinius Crassus: Do you consider the eating of oysters to be moral and the eating of snails to be immoral?
Antoninus: No, master.
Marcus Licinius Crassus: Of course not. It is all a matter of taste, isn't it?
Antoninus: Yes, master.
Marcus Licinius Crassus: And taste is not the same as appetite, and therefore not a question of morals.
Antoninus: It could be argued so, master.
Marcus Licinius Crassus: My robe, Antoninus. My taste includes both snails and oysters.

:)

most folks i know have been divorced many times. one does not have to be married to be a whole person.

I didn't get married until I was 38--and am proud of it.

But I'm an older male, divorced for many years, no kids.

Everyone else is right. The world is well-stocked with idiots, and the assumptions bouncing around their tiny little heads are their problem, not yours.

For several years I had a male roommate. This is Los Angeles, but you'd be amazed at how many people automatically assumed we were a gay couple. And felt the need to comment on that, or at least smirk in our general direction.

We usually got this from women, oddly enough. Or not so odd, I guess, since we are both fairly large guys.

Tom Selleck, though Repub, actually did a pretty neat thing one time concerning this whole issue.

Some tabloid paper printed a "Selleck is gay" story, and a reporter asked Selleck if he planned to sue.

"No I'm not," he replied. "I don't think I have any grounds to sue, since there's nothing wrong with being gay."

I would say this no matter if sombody was 40, 50 or 80 :)

I am single also. Maybe we are the same type of pervert.

When I was younger I thought it was a fate worse than death. I tried to find someone, but I had terrible dating experiences. I got tired of being a weird-o magnet, so I threw in the towel about ten years ago. No more Great Expectations, personal ads in the LA Times or the Jewish Journal. No more getting a nervous stomach and dry mouth waiting for a blind date to show up.

What to know what the biggest surprise has been?

After all that, I ended up being happy single!

Me? Married at 24 in 1976; divorced in 1980 (wife too young); back together in 1981 (wife discovered the reality of being out there at that time), raised our daughter (born in 1976 - you can do the math and figure it out) until 1994 (long time, lots of living), and that's another story; then met Cindy at a conference in 1995; married in 1997 (Disney World wealth and vacation relationship), We marry, I move there from Michigan (fuck South Florida), I go through a complete nervous breakdown, and skip ahead; Cindy and I are totally together at 54 now, to cut off the absurdity of life. So basically, there is much more, but life is absurd, and at my age with Cindy, incredibly short. It's getting shorter. 41 is a nothing age. It's 45. And when you really feel it, it's 53. And if you don't appreciate all this work, it's you problem.

... a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

I am so confused.

I married my first wife twice, then married another many years later. We divorced, too, many years ago, but are having an incredibly dedicated relationship long distance, and I visit every time I get (monthly, expensive); she is in DC and I am in Michigan. (We are both 54, have lived incredible lives, so don't even think about it). All relationships are complicated. All of them. Please do not feel "sick" about it, or others' attitude, which, the older you get the more you simply don't give a shi*. Life is a journey, not a destination, and yes you are welcome for the cliche - which is true.

It means your are smart and not afraid to be your own person. Rock on sister! :hug:

It rather makes you a vampire, and now you'll get increasingly skin
exposure to the sunlight pains, and wish for the warm blood of young
lovers once in a blue moon. But otherwise a nice cat or dog will do
for a cuddle.

:-)

Vampires anonymous.... whilst we age, sag and fall apart like dying
flowers, swelling, sagging and finally rotting back in to the earth.
Unless compost is lesbian, perhaps for the uber-mystical feminist,
but nevertheless, we vampires all dance on the night of this equinoxe
to celibrate the world where the light is balanced with the dark,
and for a moment, the earth knows balance.

Wanna date?!

:silly:

Wanna date?!

So does that make me the "man" in the relationship as well?

I have a friend who is 41, not married, and cuts her own hair into a butch cut because she's sick of bad haircuts (two cowlicks). Does that make HER lesbian?

Who says so?

They're idiots.

if you're 41 and not married, OF COURSE YOU ARE A LESBIAN! I mean, hell, I like AbFab, so ya know I must be a queer too! :sarcasm: MAJOR
HARDY :sarcasm:

"People asked me, when I got my earing, if I was gay, and I told 'em BEND OVER AND FIND OUT!" -- George Carlin (I know I'm butchering that quote, anyone got the exact quote, PLEASE email it to me LuCiferPhD@yahoo.com THANK YOU!)

Lu Cifer, I guess with all the QUEEN albums I got that PROVES what a homo I am, right!!?!?

Carson, refering to "Bonanza" asked him something to the effect
"All those men on that ranch, no women and no-one was gay?"
Landon - "Nope. But it's a good thing Hop Sing was"

The laughter didnt stop for several minutes.

at that one! Not a Landon fan, but THAT is funny!

women, then yes, I guess so. But it really hinges on the "has sex with other women" thing.

My girlfriend nominee is 48 and has never been married. I'm quite sure she's not a Lesbian.

make me selfish?

To some people, I guess it does. But those people can fuck off.